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Dagoth Nereviar

Clich? "need Help With A Woman" Topic Sorry :P

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I'll try and keep the briefing about the situation...well, brief :PI've liked this girl for about 2 years and I love her more than anything, but I have the tendency to screw up relationships (I don't mean to, and I try not to, but it always seems to happen) and about a year ago, I said I love her, but then realised an ex liked me (But i'm finally over her) and...well, I'm not entirely sure why and not exactly sure what happened...but I think I said I didn't love her anymore (I know, I suck) and she was upset...Well, lately i've been thinking about her non stop and when I hear she's having fun with other guys, I feel slightly upset/heart broken... And I feel like I should tell her...What I'm asking is...Should I ask her?Now, before you say "You should tell her while you have the chance" think that if I tell her, it might hurt her again, and I don't want to, and I know that I'll end up screwing it up, and end up hurting her....And if she doesn't like me the same way then...I dunno how I'll feel...But anyways what do you think I should? Keeping in mind the above...Thanks for those who'll try and help :)Edit: see my third post...Sorry if I sound like an idiot :)

Edited by Dagoth Nereviar (see edit history)

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Let's not worry so much about how you will feel, for few reasons.1) If you tell her, and you rejected, Your heartbroken.2) However, if you don't tell her, then our heartbroken anyway.3) If you tell her, and you get her, then you'll be happy.So try to forgot worrying about upsetting yourself at the current moment. Forcus your attention on her, try and do things with her, shopping, hanging out, movies etc and so that you like her. Then when the time is right tell her. Your only going to make things work if you try first, things ain't just going to happn.If you're worried about upsetting her, then maybe you should seek advice from her friends about how to make the right impression on her. Also, if you also get to know her friends, it can only help you, just try not to flirt or get to close. A chick in my expereince is always going to turn to her friends for advice on a guy, and if they view as a sweet great guy, your'll do fine.

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Hmm...Well, from those three reasons you make it sound like I have nothing to loose...But then say I should wait...Sorry :)Anyways, like I said, I've known her for about 2 years, and we've been really great friends for a few month already...But I guess waiting would be a good option...I'll see what other people say first, thanks alot though, Tuddy :)

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Well, 2 years. I say you hav waited long enough. Sit down and think about wether you have a good relationship with her currently as friends. If this is the case, then go ahead an spill your guts, in a nice way, don't pressure her, just let her know how you feel. Then give alittle space.

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My advice is as follows: Don't tell her you "love" her. That would just screw up what you already have by putting a lot of pressure on her. Instead, continue to (or start to) see her regularly with a group of friends and after a short while ask her out on a date with just you and her. If it goes well, ask her out again or talk about going steady, but you don't want to be the first person to mention the L-word because it would just put her in an awkward place.

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Thanks again Tuddy, and thanks beeseven for replying :)I'm still undecided...but I think if I had an idea of what to say/how to come out with it, then it might be easier to choose whether I should or shouldn't do it...I don't want you to tell me exactly, then I repeat it word for word :) But I'm unsure how to tell her...And I've never really been good at being subtle...so i dunno how to tell her without just blurting it out...Edit: She's also just told me that she wants a boyfriend to make her happy, and that is happy about how she looks...And I make her happy and I think she's wonderful...Is she hinting? Or is it coincidence? But I thought it might influence it too..Edit 2: I've told her...so I'm going to see what she says...I didn't get to say it to her face like I wanted to (She's on holiday, and she was pressing about it..and I didn't feel like ignoring her)... Thanks for everyones help :P

Edited by Dagoth Nereviar (see edit history)

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We now go out :) Yaaaay!I left it for a week after I'd told her, and I bumped into her in the town centre after college, but she was with her mates, and I was nervous at first (Also, I think two of them doesn't want her to go out with me :P)...but I asked and she was nervous too, but she answered yes :)

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