My Cousins I love them but I dont

[Shortyfly17 0]

THis might not fit in topic but here goes.....My cousin cuts when ever she is upset, but I do not think she has a reason to cut. She has a nice house a family that loves her. She has everything in the world. The only bad thing about her life is that she is a emo.(She doesn't have many friends ) I go over her house alot and try to stop her.She just ignores me or tries to change the subject. She kind of scares me becasue she likes to save her blood in a bottle. I think that she is a good person but she needs some help. Joelle(My cousin) She says that she wouldn't go as far as goth but I think that she is going much farther then goth. The truth is that her supposedly called friend Matt asked her to be emo. Matt is 13 years old she is 12. Matt went way to far at one time. I am sorry if I am telling her life story but only talking to people can help me to help her now.It was the day of the fair on one of the rides. He was being a pervert to her. I will not spill the details Brittany is my other cousin that cuts!! Why do people cut! When there is no reason I wish that there was no cuting.(Or at least when there was no reason for it) I hang out with Brittany alot she wears short sleaves. You would be able to see cuts and scars all up her arms. One of her best friends started to gross her out and started calling her things and said that she had no friends. She took her so called sucide box into the bathroom. She was trying to cut her self. We tried to stop her she told us all to leave. We left. One of her best friends came to the door and ask her if she cut she said yes. She said she was cutting. Can someone please tell me why people have to choose this way to calm themselves down? I mean it is so violent and wrong. Cut a three lettered word. And so much damage it has conflicted on my cousins. Can someone please help.

[TypoMage 0]

Wow your are in it deep! I do not think that I can help you with that Well I will try.Maybe you shouldtry talking to them or you could scream at them untill they listen.(2nd option never works)So maybe you could ad me and we could talk about it.

[brandice 0]

Even if it's just some emo phase/ritual, it's something that is going to affact these kids for the rest of their lives. This is a pretty serious problem and I don't think you should have to try to figure it out on your own. You really need to talk to your cousin's parents or guardians. Talk to your own parents, first, probably, and work out how you should approach this. You definatly need to get grown-ups involved in this. Perhaps the adults in your life might not know about cutting. You might want to get some information together on the subject to show them how serious it is. Visit some websites with them or print out some articles on it. These girls might need to go into therapy.

[Shortyfly17 0]

Even if it's just some emo phase/ritual, it's something that is going to affact these kids for the rest of their lives. This is a pretty serious problem and I don't think you should have to try to figure it out on your own. You really need to talk to your cousin's parents or guardians. Talk to your own parents, first, probably, and work out how you should approach this. You definatly need to get grown-ups involved in this.
Perhaps the adults in your life might not know about cutting. You might want to get some information together on the subject to show them how serious it is. Visit some websites with them or print out some articles on it. These girls might need to go into therapy.

thank you for the advice thank you a lot thank you for the great advice

[Mermaid711 0]

The thing about cutting is that it releases endorphines to the brain, which make you in somewhat a better mood.

[Watermonkey 0]

What the hell is "emo"? When someone is a danger to themselves or to society, there is usually somewhere you can take them like a mental hospital or psychologist to get them the help in counseling they need. But, sadly (sometimes), there really is no way to help someone who doesn't first recognize their is a problem, and second, they need to actually want help to solve the problem. Mermaid brings up the point that pain releases chemicals from the brain that gives the feeling of euphoria and that feeling is addictive. It's possible that there's an addiction there that could lead to other more destructive tendencies and ultimately could lead to real injury or death. If you can't bring them to see that what they're doing is a problem, I'd get as far away from them as possible, unless you have a morbid fascination with seeing people kill themselves. In that case, bring a camera with you every time you visit because one of those times, you'll be visiting a dead body and you'll definitely want to take some pictures to share with all your morbid friends.You might also suggest to them that sometimes playing hard like bicycling or running, swimming, whatever releases the same endorphines without the scarring... That's an addiction that might actually be a good thing!

[Smack 0]

Your cousin needs rehab.Seriously, its just cuts now but I've seen it before and the end result is usually not just scars.Yes and Mermaid is right, basically it makes you high. So it is an addiction problem.If her parents don't do anything, at least go talk to the counselor at her school, it's free and usually the counselor can help.

[tuddy 0]

I'd get as far away from them as possible, unless you have a morbid fascination with seeing people kill themselves. In that case, bring a camera with you every time you visit because one of those times, you'll be visiting a dead body and you'll definitely want to take some pictures to share with all your morbid friends.

Was that really called for? I think you over stepped the mark there. She was asking for help for family members, and I don't think that made any help to the sitiuation. Unless there is something helpful to say, don't say anything at all. Your remarks there were ingoranat and over the top considering she said in her first post she doesn't like them doing this.

[wenster 0]

I don't know. I want to say she does it to crave attention. That's the only reason why I would think she would cut. Some people aren't born the same. They may be more hormonal or whatever. I would also suggest a school counselor or talking to her parents about it. I can semi understand the high from cutting yourself to feel alive or whatever. Because i've sort of tried to cut myself once. lol. i'm retarded. I've moved on.

[tara 0]

this a very critical situation because at this age children needs guide and if they are feeling anything wrong then please console her if it is not stopped then in future it may increase her cutting activities.

[missy2205 0]

wow your situation is not one i would like to be in because its very difficult to be in your shoes. I wish there was an easy fix for the situation you have but i doubt that very much.We need to take into account that there are two points of view one being yours and the other being that of your cousins combined we will assume in this case that they have the same problem even though they may have completely separate problems which are completely unrelated.At this point we have already established the fact that their actions are affecting you negatively and you are worried about your cousins hence the reason you wrote on these forums. So to kick it of I?d say let me first try and give my two cents of advice on how you can handle this bit of the equation. I think your situation is hard and needs a shoulder to cry on because right now you fill like its your fault that your cousins ct themselves and bleed just to feel better but its not your fault its only that you have the soft heart that pains and feels sorry for them. I know they say live me alone and all that but your cousins know that you worry and stress about them hence they make all the drama before they lock themselves in the bath room and cut. I will give you and example but it may be just a long shot. Remember when you were younger and were not allowed alcohol or had sex the first time and didn?t want anyone to find out you would do all your things in private trying hard to make sure no one ever finds out. When your first boyfriend broke up with you and you hurt inside so much but couldn?t tell anyone at home because you were said to be too young to be seeing boys you did everything privately save for close friends you trusted and told but you basically cold have got pregnant and had an abortion and bled in the toilet and made sure it was all kept hush hush so mother and daddy would never hear a thing that?s how well you made sure things were under wraps. When your cousins want to cut they can go in the bath and ct away all they want with out screaming and crying loudly they can go there lock door ct away and come out bleeding or bandaged wearing a jumper and no one would know but they make a scene to get attention and they enjoy that pleading and begging you do when they lock the door and you are imagining the worst may have happened they enjoy screaming leave me the f alone because that?s their convincer that they don?t want attention. While they may be actually cutting and getting endorphins in the brain which make them high, they also enjoy riding the wave of pity they get with the cutting sometimes they start of not cutting but when they first see the pity they get when people see blood they know they have to push the envelope further because after few times people start to realise they are bluffing so they start cutting for real and after a while people realise they are only doing light cuts and don?t give that much sympathy to them so the cuts get deeper for the same sympathy they used to get. Now what they don?t realise is that they are causing you trauma having to witness this and see the blood and all that it must haunt you especially because you don?t know the psychology behind it all. You fear they will bleed to death and as they sit there riding high on cutting you hear silence and panic fearing the worst or wondering if they may have bled to death in the bathroom. My advice to you is simple but hard to implement. I say ignore them when they throw their tantrums don?t check up on them when they lock themselves in the bath. Just ignore their antics and say things like if they cry ask what?s wrong and if they get all hysterical say do you want me to leave you alone and if they say yes, just get up and leave and go watch TV or go on the internet or listen to your iPod or use the iPod or text friends just do anything that?s not entertain them. If they say I?m going to slice and dice myself just say that?s cool if it makes you feel better and if you can do us all a favour and tell a phone with you incase you are bleeding to death by mistake you can ring your self 911 case I don?t really want to have to call the ambulance or visit any self harming person in hospital let alone find their dead body in the bath. Don?t say this angrily just say it calmly because shouting will only make them feel they are getting attention. Just blank them even if they slice and bleed everywhere just cold shoulder them and show non tolerance to their behaviour case at the end of the day you do more harm by giving an attention seeker attention than by ignoring them. Yet while there is a chance they may change for the better chances are you are going to be affected negatively because of the things you will see because you know they are wrong. And because you will worry night after night wondering why they are being stupid yet they are sleeping and enjoying messing your life and mind.Your Cousins are being silly they are trying to get attention what they don't realise is that you have feelings. I its the end know they may have a problem that is affecting them. I wish there was an easy way for them. But at the moment the best can hope for is that they have a rude awakening. Someone needs to sit them down and talk to them. I hope that the person that speaks to them is not A parent or teacher.It would be easier if that person is a professional or someone that has been 1 that situation before. Someone they can identify with. Someone who will not talk down to them but explain things from personal experience. Probably someone who knows the danger of using a knife or a razor to cut yourself. They need to become aware of the danger to their health and the damage they are doing to their skin I hope one day they learnThat they are all be hurting themselves. Can you not introduce your Cousins to this website so they can ask questions and get help. I feel sorry for them and I hope they get some help.We are here to help them if they can only ask, they will get the help they need. This website will hopefully give them an understanding of what been going through from people that have been in this situation. of people around the world have been in their shoes. So it will not be Hard to find someone who understands what's the problem and how to deal with the situation. I know it's hard but, trust me there is a way.A friend of mine once have the same problem and now he's in a professional hospital and they're helping him.

[anwiii 17]

how can this resurface after 4 years? people who cut DEFINATELY need help. there is no question about it. it's not that they want to draw attention to themselves. a lot of them cut in places where the cuts can be hidden by clothing. these people suffer from deperession. they feel empty, and any little thing can trigger the cutting. why do they do it? because they feel dead inside. they want to feel alive. they want to feel SOMETHING when all they feel is emptiness for one reason of another. they aren't doing it to kill themselves either. but they do need help. they need meds to help with the chemical imbalances. unfortunately, a lot of the meds out there work for some and don't work for others. that's why doctors will always change prescriptions on their patients. and some you have to be really carefull about because they don't make you feel anything. something cutters will hate. some will just make you feel more empty. so even meds might not work.but if ya know a cutter, best thing to do is try to get them to talk to ya and listen and encourage them to do the things that might be able to allow them to live happier livesalso, when you are talking about things that can so easily trigger cutting, you are talking about them having an anxiety disorder too. sometimes just trying to control the anxiety helps rather than concentrate on the depression at first. they should never be in an environment that will make them anxious