Long Distance Relationship

[Spyda 0]

Hi guys, I'm in a long distance relationship with a French guy living in Switzerland. And frankly things are not going well. It is already very difficult not being able to see each other face to face , we have to use Skype to talk to each other. And he visited me like 4 months ago than he had to go back to Switzerland to work. Now things are bad between us, he has some financial problems so I sent him about US &50 to help him out and he's like working non stop, he has a day job working at a clinic and at night he does baby sitting, he speaks to me like just 5 mins a day. When I ask him not to do his baby sitting, he says he needs to because of the money...but later he admitted he did the baby sitting for free because he liked the people, so in a way he's secrificing our relationship for the baby sitting because we hardly ever get to speak any more. I've already been in this relationship for 1.5 years and I really don't know what to do about it. Should I admit defeat and just break it off...or should I struggle on? I just don't seemto matter to him any more, and when I complain to him, he just says hes tired and offs skype on me.

Long distance relationships are extremely hard and most of them do not last. If I was you, I would break off the relationship UNLESS they are going to be coming to French sometime soon. Otherwise, there is really no point as the relationships is most likely not going to last.

http://www.waiit.com/Long_Distance_Relationships_Statistics

[roger112 0]

I have been in a long distance relationship for quite sometime now and its all been good.Two things that people need in a relationship like this is trust and love for each other, just these two qualities will beat anything that may come crawling your way.You have to be constanlty in touch and you have to keep reassuring each other that everything is good and soon you'll meet up and spend time together.

[missy2205 0]

What i can say to you girl is be very careful. Dont send this guy money anymore until you know exactly whats going on because he could be someone with a family there. I know people work hard but hey if you have a girl that you really like/love you cannot give her only 5mins and this babysitting business is crap. Have you ever visited this guy before? or he just come to you?. Some guys just wants a bit on the side so becareful of becoming one. He could be playing you fo rall you know girl. What you need to do is sit down and really think that do you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt give a damn about you or you deserve a better man. I know you must love this guy but sometime you have to let go for you to be happy.

[fermin25 3]

I think that the long distances relationship are not ok. Why?? A relationship is the interaction between two people and when I say interacion I mean to the contact between to people who are joined for a feeling or circunstance. But when one of the couple have to travel to another country or to another city for some months then the contact doesn?t exist anymore and the heat is lost with the cold of being talking by the phone or by the internet. How can you know that your partner is not with other guy?? You can?t know and this can ocassionate you a big stress problem and start to feel jealous and think things that maybe are not real but you can stop to think in those things. Of course you and your partner when there is a cirncunstance in the life that will separate each other have to make the effort to continue the relationship with a pact, with a promise, I don?t know. But you have to make the effort of course but if in some part of the time you start to feel something with another new people you have met you have to tell this inmediately to your partner and together take a decision, broke or continue together. The chat and all the ways to keep the contact are useful to simulate that contact that you can have in the real way, but of course it can?t no replace to the real contact, the heat of a real relationship, one close to the other.So this is what I think, of course if you are in this type of relationship you have to fight but at the same time being concieous about the turn that can have in the future the relationship. In my country there is a said: "Love distance relationship, is a love between fools".

[Okara KAmi 0]

I think it was really sweet of you to send over $50. I'm not quite sure why, but in this day and age, that kind of stuff just seems so anachronistic. In a good way, of course. Now about the long distance relationship itself, the generic things would have to be communication, like was said before. It's REALLY easy to feel distant from someone distant from you, and to keep yourself closer on the inside, a constant stream of feelings, events, thoughts, chitchat or whatever is necessary in my opinion. It can't ever compensate for the lack of companionship, but it's probably the closest thing you'll get to having them near you. If your boyfriend in Switzerland isn't able to talk much, you should probably tell him that you want him to make some time in the middle, as much as he possibly can, to get on and talk to you. Make a schedule, or something. As long as you guys talk. It can be boring for all we know, but talking makes that distance seem a little less.I'd imagine your sleep schedules are about 5-7 hours apart, so by the time he wakes up, you're asleep or about to go to sleep.Communicating and telling him what you want to say, rather than just some pattern of mushy talk, is the most important thing about a long distance relationship for me. Without it, both of you will just feel more distant from one another. Other than that, I can't give you much more advice. I really hope it works out for you =)