"i Love You" Three words we say too often?

[brainless 0]

I just read in another thread (about how to say "I love you" in other languages than english) that someone in here doesn't say it because it "gets tossed around too often".

 

I think it is not being said (or at least thought) often enough. Why? I'll try to explain:

 

At least among many people I know, saying "I love you" implies "I want sexual contact with you". If someone says "I love you" to gain sexual contact, I agree with those who claim that these three words are being tossed around too much - if you want sex without any commitments, why don't you say so?

 

Oxford Advanced Learner's of Current English

love 1) have strong affection or deep tender feelings for [someone] 2) [...] 3) have kind feelings towards [someone] [...] 4) be very fond of; like; find pleasure in [something] [...]

I agree with those who think that it is not necessary to have a strong affection or deep feelings to everyone but I do think that most places could be more bearable if everyone loved (as in 3) the people around him or her. I often do things I would not do out of personal motivation because I'd like to see someone suffer less or have an easier life. I'm not saying that I'm going totally out of my way to please someone else, it's just that I take some seconds to keep a door open for someone else, offer help if I'm not busy myself and I've always got an ear open for other people's feelings and problems. I consider "Person X had a problem" an acceptable excuse for not having done something less important or for getting less sleep than I'd need to be fully able to work the next day.

I also don't easily hurt or injure other people. They've got their own problems to worry about, why should I add to them?

 

I think all this can be summarized as in: "3) have kind feelings towards" other people.

Edited June 8, 2006 by brainless (see edit history)

[amhso 0]

its just a phrase adopted by the modern societies to prove one's affection. there's nothing wrong with that. sure you shiould love everyone. but it's not restricted to that to use the phrase.

[Madkat-Z 0]

At least among many people I know, saying "I love you" implies "I want sexual contact with you". If someone says "I love you" to gain sexual contact, I agree with those who claim that these three words are being tossed around too much - if you want sex without any commitments, why don't you say so?

Ah alas our modern society destroying language once again. Awhile back the word "peep" meant those marshmallow chicks you buy around Easter, now it means the same thing as "friend" and "homie" as well. The phrase "I love you" has changed as well. It use to mean what you stated, "A kind feeling towards a person", now it meaning has become less and less serious (I believe its caused by the increases in break ups among couples) causing it to be used in that sort of manner. Love is a feeling, not an action.

[dirtylobster 0]

I'm not saying that I'm going totally out of my way to please someone else, it's just that I take some seconds to keep a door open for someone else, offer help if I'm not busy myself and I've always got an ear open for other people's feelings and problems. I consider "Person X had a problem" an acceptable excuse for not having done something less important or for getting less sleep than I'd need to be fully able to work the next day.

I think that's a good definition of love. Or compassion. And I agree that 'I love you' today is more of a phrase you use to tell someone you need them. But it's also a matter of where and when it's used. On the other hand, if you really love someone you shouldn't need to tell him/her that, at least not all the time. Your actions should make it obvious.

[CarlU 0]

haha, in school my mates used to always say "Oh, I love this Girl" when in reality that girl was the most attractive girl in the school and the guy had barely talked to her.

[Johnny 1]

Love implies a commitment, much stronger than just dating. It's one thing to be in a high school relationship just to have fun, hang out, and be sort of like friends with benefits, and it's another thing to be 'in love' with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them.

[Juhae 0]

You say that people do not say "I love you" enough? I disagree. Saying three words has no true meaning unless if you really mean it. You should only say those three amazing words if and only you are sure that the person you are saying it to, says "I love you" back. That is what really counts. Not how much it is said.

[kawasu 0]

i dont think what your saying is true either. to a degree yes, but otherwise the phrase is still used vbery appropriately in many cases. for example, if someone were to say it to their child or siblings then it would mean a greater deal than it would to say some1 u'd been seeing for a couple of weeks. love itself has catergories of its own. the love to a friend, parent or brother is a love that is passsive. its not the kind which makes u obsessive or attracted to them but rather loving them for their pressence in life. the love to a partner is that of affection and lust. you love them because your attracted and may well just want say it for sexual contact. then again, you may also love them truly, that is, u love them for who they are... i'm confusing myself. i think i made sense. well yeh, "i love you" has changed, but it still has its backbone depending on the context of where and what its being used for.

[Nani Cheri 0]

I think you should only say it when you really reallyy mean it. It is true if you say this too often to your partner it is not special when you say it, because it becomes like an sort of automatic phrase you say. Like on the phone, many people end the conversation with 'love ya!', but that is not special anymore, you dont think when you say it. I think you should say I love you but not too often and only when you truely mean so. Otherwise you dont seperate the people you love and the people you reallyreally love unconditional, and thats not what we want right.Why not say I like you to a person you dont really are sure about you love... or to your partner. then you can say at the moments you really need to 'I Love You'

[Dagoth Nereviar 0]

Apparantly, "luv" is a friendship type, but "love" is more of a relationship type.But I prefer to atleast try and spell words correctly, so I don't use "luv"

[AnGeL KiSS 0]

When I was younger, I only said I LOVE YOU to family members. Now that I'm older, I say I LOVE YOU to my friends and all when the words I LOVE YOU are such strong words.. people can't value them anymore, its like saying "Hey." when they say I LOVE YOU.

 

Lol sorry about the caps for the I LOVE YOU'S .. i think this thing is getting to me.

I should stop saying I love you to all my friends and say it to the people that actually MEAN something to me, friends & that someone.

[pixieloo 0]

sometimes it gets tossed around too much. with boyfriends and girfriends aged, let's say 11, it definitely gets tossed around too much. i think people should know the true meaning of love before saying those three words, rather than saying them carelessly to a crush.i think it's more important to show your love through actions, than to say it through words.after all, actions speak louder than words.

[Tenshi 0]

Being a living thing we were always born with the ability of loving a person no matter how they were, but as we grow up and society reinforces the rules to make sure that we live life right, we tend to take many things for granted or make taboo of others. Now I see that everyone says that one should not say "I love you" until they actually mean it. The thing is that the love we have for our family is unconditional while what we feel for our partners, friends and so on is a conditioned form of attraction. But we also take the "I love you" said to family for granted and fuss over when a lover does not say that they love you immediately. I personally let everyone I know that I love them a lot because I do "love" them. I keep telling one of my best friends that I love her a lot because she comes from a family that does not show her any affection or tell her that they love her so to prevent her from feeling insecure, insignificant or depressed I always give her a hug and tell her that I love her. It might seem weird to many but to her it is the most important thing. Heck, I even tell my pets all the time that I love them, you'd be surprised how happy they get after hearing it especially if it comes with a hug, belly rub and a kiss . Love cannot be categorized into family love, lover, friends love. It is the level of attraction & commitment which is changing therefore I tell my family and friends that I love them while I tell my lover that I absolutely adore him (I also say " I love you" but the word adore is only for him).The term "I love you" is said to "mean" something only when you feel strongly or when you keep it unique to one person and that is why I tell my lover alone that I adore him.

[dre 0]

"Love" is too ambiguous. The term can mean anything and is rather clich?d.

[nol 0]

I agree with angel.I've been hanging out at a playground at the elementary school with my daughter and I would be sitting there with those other little kids on the playgrounds that go to that school, and I saw 2 kids (Male & Female) hug, then kiss, and say I love you to each other, I don't know why but it kind of bothered me that they said it, theres no way those guys + girls are more than 12 years old, and in my eyes, to know that you love somebody at 12 or even earlier, is just nonsense, you can't know that by then, I can't truly believe you know that when your 16 and in high school with your girlfriend for 4 months, you don't know you love her, love has to go through time, it has to be injured, and get through that injury, it has to last. There is no possible way a 12- person can know what love feels like, I mean if they have classes like when I was in elementary school, I only knew like 30 or so people, not where you go to a middle or high school and you know in the 200s. That 30 or so people you do know, I bet half of them you wouldn't be interested in for any reason, that leaves about 14 people you can choose from (not saying love is something you can neccesarily choose) but still. That's crazy, you can't really experiment with different types of women (or men).