My New Song Feedback please

[stevenufc291088 0]

Loyalty Beyond Recognition

 

(Verse)

The fear of the end is what we fear today

We know it?s coming but we stay scared anyway

We can?t stop it

There?s nothing we can do or can say

But if we pray

Maybe time till the end will delay

But if someone?s life depended solely on yours

We you turn off the lights

And would you close all the doors

If that someone was someone you really cared for

Would you give them their life

And sacrifice yours

It?s not a decision that many of us have to make

But I doubt there?s many people out there willing to take

Their own life for the chance that someone else could survive

Cos by the time they made up their mind

I doubt they?re alive

But if you did they probably wouldn?t recognise

The loyalty behind it all it ain?t clear in their eyes

Or their mind

But given time

I think you will find

We only see what we want to see

But most of us can?t be what we want to be

Cos that?s the definition of perfection

Tell me, what do you see when you look in your reflection

Hopefully not a lie

But not the truth

The truth hurts too much, it damages the youth

And there?s proof

Loyalty without praise is better than with

Although it?s nice to take, I assure it?s better to give

So if there?s someone out there you really care for

And you were loyal to them but they just seem to ignore

Don?t take heed from that

Give yourself a pat on the back

Cos you can feel proud and no-one can take away that

 

(Chorus)

Loyalty beyond recognition

If you take their guns away who?s gonna miss ?em

Protecting their sons all day while they listen

As we become one and say that we wish ?em

Loyalty beyond recognition

If you take their guns away who?s gonna miss ?em

Protecting their sons all day while they listen

As we become one and say that we wish ?em

Loyalty beyond recognition

 

(Verse)

That?s what we wish ?em

Don?t let their sons and guns become one

That?s the tuition

The superstition

That crossing on the stairs brings bad luck

Is it true?

Well give it a try and see if your face get f****d up

And if it does who?s to say it was even linked

For all we know it?s a coincidence

Stop and think

Do these, superstitious myths even matter

Should we, watch out in case we walk under a ladder

Well I broke a mirror when I was only five

Yeah I had seven years bad luck but at least I?m still alive

I didn?t realise

That this was just the story of my life

But if I?d had the time, to focus my mind

Maybe I?d of had the courage and strength to cross the line

But I just accepted it

That?s just the way it is

So *BLEEP* the rest of it

But everyday I wish

That we could

Make a change for the better

Together forever

We could rule the world

Never say never

But when I look in your eyes I see a devilish side

The type that creates another level inside

But the feelings I have, they couldn?t be stronger

They build up inside I can?t wait any longer

For the feelings I hate, to escape

The debate, can?t go on any longer

Loyalty creates a bond that couldn?t be stronger

But it can?t be seen that?s the twist to this

Although it may seem this takes the p**s a bit

If you were loyal to someone and they don?t know

The bond becomes bigger ?til it no longer can grow

 

(Chorus)

Loyalty beyond recognition

If you take their guns away who?s gonna miss ?em

Protecting their sons all day while they listen

As we become one and say that we wish ?em

Loyalty beyond recognition

If you take their guns away who?s gonna miss ?em

Protecting their sons all day while they listen

As we become one and say that we wish ?em

Loyalty beyond recognition

 

(Verse)

Takin? time out from bein? the jury for the judge

?cos I?m sick ?n? tired of sending people down for showing love

There?s plenty of people who take the blame of murder

For someone they love, love you couldn?t take any further

Have you heard a

Innocent until proven guilty

That?s bulls**t, ?cos lies aint the truth you feel me

How can u prove someone?s guilty with lies

If you look in their eyes

You can see it?s just a disguise

But their demise, is done in the name of love

It hurts to see them get locked up like thugs

But at the end of the day

It?s their choice to make

Are they doing the right thing?

That?s an ongoing debate

Now let me demonstrate

And eliminate the feelings of hate

It?s irate by the prison gates

As we sit and wait

While they investigate

They manipulate until they?ve chosen a date

But wait

All the people victimised

You?d be surprised

The amount of times lives left behind

But do you feel or understand what I?m saying to you

?Cos I need a demonstration of the view I?m portraying to you

At the end of the day you wouldn?t give your life for

But given the chance I hope you?d put up a good fight for me

Rightfully, life might be free

But the anarchy of it all brings me to my knees

So please

When loyalty?s rejected think again

The key is in the lock, so you win, not them

 

(Chorus)

Loyalty beyond recognition

If you take their guns away who?s gonna miss ?em

Protecting their sons all day while they listen

As we become one and say that we wish ?em

Loyalty beyond recognition

If you take their guns away who?s gonna miss ?em

Protecting their sons all day while they listen

As we become one and say that we wish ?em

Loyalty beyond recognition

[stevenufc291088 0]

anyone ????????

[CarlU 0]

I am not music writer minded.the words are great, but I have no idea of the tune.how long does this song go for??I thought this song was a religious song until I read the 2nd verse...

[stevenufc291088 0]

lol its not that long bout 4 mins, its rap so the verses are quite long. Thats the trouble although i know the tune no-one else does whilst readin it!

[WarFact 0]

The words are great, in my opinion. Put it together with a good tune and you, my friend, have got yourself a song. However, i'm not a HUGE fan of rap. lol I have nothing against it, but some songs just annoy me to death.

[Sprnknwn 0]

I just thought while reading that it must be a rap. Looks good, but it?s hard to imagine with a rythm. I know that rap is highly based on lyrics but for me music is tune, not only urban poetry. I need to hear something.

[gameratheart 0]

Well I think it's a brilliant rap song, but then I am a fan of the more musical types of rap. You know, the kind that Eminem sings.I imagine that it has a good tune with it as well. I was just reading that song and a tune kept going through my head... probably not the same one as you intended though... 'cos that the thing, you read the song without knowing what it sounds like, and your brain just makes you imagine what you think the song would be like. And then you never forget that tune. Like riding a bike.(And yes, that was intentively made to rhyme.)

Edited June 19, 2006 by NDPA (see edit history)

[nicholi.d 0]

Wow give your peops for the time and effort in it.

[cangor 0]

amazing. simply amazing. I don't like much rap, but your verse is awesome. Congrats!

[aminzzlink 1]

wow awsome , but i think it's near to the slam than rap , isn't it ??

[cgrim29588 0]

I am not music writer minded.the words are great, but I have no idea of the tune.
how long does this song go for??

I thought this song was a religious song until I read the 2nd verse...

I agree the words are great, but there is no way of knowing what the tune of the song is. What is the meaning of this song?

[seastien 0]

congrats the artist! do you chose an instrumental ? do you make instrumental music on computer ? what is your fav Mc ?seeya

[pixieloo 0]

it's pretty good. but for a song, i'd have to hear the tune before i know if i like it (even for a rap =P)

[AnGeL KiSS 0]

woot nice song did you ever sing it? lol i'd like to hear the real song are you a rapper?

[Sydney D 0]

Have you used mp3sale or mp3sugar to download music?
How did that work out?