The Very First Topic In The Counseling Forum

[semeticsister 0]

Woo hoo, go me for being the first one to post here. So my problem is, I was pressured into drinking alcohol at this party. I said no, but now my friends think I'm a huge nark. What do I do?

[Inspiron 0]

And mine for the first reply here too..If I'm you, I'd lie to them that I'll vomit after taking alcohol. Say you tried before and landed in hospital.. Your friend should stop pestering you if they care.

[ankitunlimited 0]

All i can say is that it aint cool to drink alcohol, and if they pressurize you they aint your friends. Let them spoil their lives, you took a brave step by saying no, keep it up. No need to feel like a nark.

Edited March 30, 2006 by ankitunlimited (see edit history)

[anwiii 17]

All i can say is that it aint cool to drink alcohol, and if they pressurize you they aint your friends. Let them spoil their lives, you took a brave step by saying no, keep it up. No need to feel like a nark.

i don't trust anyone who doesn't drink, but at the same time, i do respoct people for being themselves.

peer pressure doesn't just come from friends, but family and society in general. in fact you can't pleae anyone because whatever decision, you will recieve pressure. so it comes down with what is most comfortable for you and who you are. if your "friends" are complaining about you not drinking, then they aren't your friends. how can they be your friends if they don't act like it. same goes with family. if your family can't support you in who you are, then they aren't your family are they or they would act like it. you saw this big time 20 years ago when people just started coming out of the closet in admitting they were homosexual and their family not wanting to be associated with them or that word. sad sad sad.

stand up for yourself man and stop being a pushover and being rolled over by pressure from others or expectations of others and you will do just fine. you will eventually find REAL friends in this world that will come in to your life when you need them the most. life is uncanny right now.

if you are always worried about what other people think including friends and family when you are just being yourself(and others don't like it) then your going to find it very hard to live the life you want....even over small issues like not drinking.

[Poppy Lou 0]

It might not seem like it at the moment but you will earn a lot of respect for standing up for what you believe in. It won't happen overnight but as your friends realise you are sticking to your guns they'll admire you for it. Of course, that's if they are true friends - you'll always get some idiots who try to persuade you to be like them. But who wants to be an idiot? It might even happen that once your friends realise the bad effect alcohol can have - and that they can enjoy life without it -, they decide to join you and give up the booze. Personally I am not opposed to alcohol but I do think it should only be taken in moderation so that it doesn't become the ruling factor in your life.

[midnitesun 0]

first of all you having said no is a very good example that nobody can force you to do something you dont want to do , it's essential that you be assertive otherwise you'll end up regretting waht you have done and that will lead to more problems for you.I dont belive you should give in to your friends thinking you are a *BLEEP* , you should try to explain to them why you cant drink ,they should understand your situation if they are really good friends and mean good to you , so if they still continue to force you i would seriously consider their friendship if i were you

[terminal2k 0]

but alcohol is your friend.....nah I started drinking at a fairly young age (15) and still drink now (23), i've found that because I did a lot of my heavy drinking and partying at a younger age I don't feel the need to do that now. that said, i am australian and drinking sems to be part of our culture, i love having a beer after (or during) work with a few mates, or on the weekend having a bbq, some of my fondest memories involve alcohol in some way.

[truefusion 3]

So my problem is, I was pressured into drinking alcohol at this party. I said no, but now my friends think I'm a huge nark. What do I do?

 

Meh, i'm surprised you still care about what other people think about you. Like mentioned by anwiii, if they dont like you for who you are, then they're not really your friends as they claim to be. I know none of my friends would dare me to do to something like that.

[wild20 0]

My opinion? No offense to you anwiii, but drinkers, are generally losers who abuse children, women, and everyone else around them. Strong opinion? Yes. I know several drinkers. Both are/were great guys. You can drink, but be safe with it. I don't agree with it anyway. So I don't drink. What do you do? For one, you can stop going to parties. But that won't do sometimes. So you get on the eoffense. You don't need to be on the defense all the time. When they say, hey, want a drink? You can say, no. And have them laugh in your face. Or you can get a little more up close and personal. Look 'em in the eye and make it clear that "Drinking is for losers, I like my brains thanks". You may lose some friends, but I know that most of the time, they will lay off, and respect you more highly. You need to be firm though. If they laugh at you, just laugh with them. Just say, " Yeah we all got our preferences. Me? I would rather have pop, but don't let that stop you from having your drink". Then change the topic to something like school, if you are in it, or something else. People change their attitudes quickly, likely they will forget it. If they are giving you a huge problem, then get firm and tell them in their face you are not going to drink. Just a suggestion. I have never dealt with drinking, but I know from experience it works in other situations.

[sandeep89 0]

Meh, i'm surprised you still care about what other people think about you. Like mentioned by anwiii, if they dont like you for who you are, then they're not really your friends as they claim to be. I know none of my friends would dare me to do to something like that.

 

thing is, sometimes it jus happens. i went 2 a party, every1 was drinkin nd i did 2, thing is, it depends on how u feel about it. i hav nofink against drinkin, but if u do, then don't. If ur m8s arent kl with it, its their problem, nt urzz.

Notice from jlhaslip:

Sandeep89, please use full words, correct grammar and complete sentences. It makes it easier on us old folks. thanks.

[Earths Daughter 0]

The only reason I can see for young people pressuring others to drink is because they think it makes you "cool". Drinking, smoking, getting high, etc. doesn't make you "cool". It just makes you a conformist if everybody else is doing it. Tell people you're a non-conformist, and want to do your own thing, not what everybody else is doing. Part of being what others consider "cool" is doing what they think you should do, instead of being your own person. The biggest part of being really cool is doing your own thing. Young people that are more worried about what others think about them than in being their own person are usually not happy. And the people they hang out with are usually not true friends. True friends are people that accept you for being you and like you the way you really are. Those are the only kind of friends worth having. One true friend that will stick by you is worth more than a dozen fake friends that won't.

[anwiii 17]

oh btw- did i mention i don't trust women either? heheh j/k
ummmyou don't want him pegged by everyone as some nerd boy either saying "geee ummm i like my brains". peer pressure is tricky and needs to be handled delicate. us guys need to keep our rep ya know? you sould never get firm with your buds. if it goes that far he should just leave the party and try to escape unoticed and try again another day. and explaining "geee ummm i prefer coca cola. my mother will be waiting up for me too" doesn't work with us guys. believe me. maybe with the girls, i dunno. he should go to these parties with one pal knows his bud ain't gonna be drinkin' for support.

My opinion? No offense to you anwiii, but drinkers, are generally losers who abuse children, women, and everyone else around them. Strong opinion? Yes. I know several drinkers. Both are/were great guys. You can drink, but be safe with it. I don't agree with it anyway. So I don't drink. What do you do? For one, you can stop going to parties. But that won't do sometimes. So you get on the eoffense. You don't need to be on the defense all the time. When they say, hey, want a drink? You can say, no. And have them laugh in your face. Or you can get a little more up close and personal. Look 'em in the eye and make it clear that "Drinking is for losers, I like my brains thanks". You may lose some friends, but I know that most of the time, they will lay off, and respect you more highly. You need to be firm though. If they laugh at you, just laugh with them. Just say, " Yeah we all got our preferences. Me? I would rather have pop, but don't let that stop you from having your drink". Then change the topic to something like school, if you are in it, or something else. People change their attitudes quickly, likely they will forget it. If they are giving you a huge problem, then get firm and tell them in their face you are not going to drink. Just a suggestion. I have never dealt with drinking, but I know from experience it works in other situations.

those are good suggestions actually, but i have 1 better that a buddy of mine used to do ALL the time. he used to get an empty glass, bottle or can....whatever people are drinking out of, and poor apple juice in it. looked like beer but didn't taste like it obviously. i was one of the few that knew his little secret....but that's ok because i never told anyone until now and this was over 20 years ago. anyway, nobody accused him of not drinking. we both used to go to parties together in high school and it turned out ok with the ol' switcharoo
Edited April 7, 2006 by anwiii (see edit history)

[anwiii 17]

now wild, you posted in the right forum when you replied to the non drinker. my question is what past problem have you had with drinkers to label them the way you do. sounds to me you need your own little counseling here. let dr. anwii help ya. talk to me hehehseriously though, shouldn't label. i consider myself to be a little bit of an expert on this drinking topic because i was never afraid to drink. i used to play darts at least 3 hours a day and the only dart boards are in bars. people who drink react differently. i've seen people get more quiet, i've seen people get more loud. i've seen people act more friendly, and i've seen people act more rude. i've seen people fall over, and i've seen people walk in a straight line. what i always loved to see though is women taking their clothes off when they've had too much and i've seen guys take advantage of women who drink to much. i have ALSO seen guys be women's protectors when they have drank too much. i've seen all sorts, wild. to label GUYS a certain way when they drink is just wrong, but i know what you said what you did with that strong opinion. all that tells me wild is you need to be responsible for your own actions and be strong enough to make choices in who you want hangin' around you too. i've knows losers who are bad bad people who DONT drink....how about that? now with me, i drink for different reasons. i like to drink when i'm depressed and i also like to drink when i just want to let loose and hanve fun. i like to drink if others are drinking because i love people and i want them to open up to me and i have to sorta mirror their image so to speak. some say at one point in my life, i was an alcoholic. i don't believe i was. the real addiction i had and still have is cigarettes. i started smoking when i was around 25 and haven't stopped. i went from 2-3 a day to a pack a day. i only drink when i go to a bar(which is rare now) or when i'm watching the NCAA BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS.......BRUINS#1!!! ok, anyway everyone's different so they shouldn't really be labeled. i have never beat women or acted bandly when drinking. i have been ashamed a couple times when i drove home when i shouldn't. i don't want other people suffering from my own stupidities if by some freak of nature i get in an accident. i say freak of nature because i am one of the better drivers out there. but drinking....even ONE can affect you and your motor skills aren't working 100% adn knowing that and trying to be responsible for my own actions, being a good driver isn't any sort of valid excuse.

[brandice 0]

other reasons for people presurring other people to drink is that they don't want to be the only one, they want someone to make a bigger fool out of themselves, they don't want to be the only one in trouble- they could say the other person peer pressured them into it. I am different than a lot of people, I guess. I didn't start drinking until this past year. Age 32! Up until then I was seriously anti-drinking, at least for myself, but I never told anyone my feelings on the subject. People never pressured me to drink in all of that time because early on when my friends would ask me I would just say, "No thanks, I don't like alcohol." There were a lot of times when it looked like people might be having fun but I remembered my feelings and felt better about myself for not doing it.BTW, I only drink once in a while now and I still think nearly all alcohol is pretty yucky.

[Warren 0]

I am 18 years of age, and I don't drink. When I started going out with my friends to town, I decided to stay on diet coke all night. I was presureised by all of my friends to drink, and was for about 6 months (the were very persistant). However, now they don't bother asking anymore and everyone is fine with the idea i don't want to drink. So i think consistently declining a drink everytime they ask will make them give up hope that your going to drink. I don't drink through personal choice (never have)- I'v seen too many people vomit lolYeah so presistance and being consistent is the key I think. p.s. Sorry about the spelling am dyslexic .