Should I Call Him relationship advice needed

[dymondgurl 0]

Okay yesterday while coming home from the Labor Day Parade that they have here in NY every year I saw a friend of mine that I grew up with. He and I started talking and he began to tell me once againhow much he likes me. Now i have never taken him serious until last night. He said he likes me and really would like to be in a relationship with me. He used to live around the corner from ym house but he moved by himself to somewhere not to far from me. His dad though still lives around the corner from me so I see him sometimes when he comes to visit his dad or his friends. So he walked me home last night and we got a chance to talk and catch up. Now the thing is I have always liked him growing up but for some reason I never took his like for me seriously. I am starting to take his like for me seriously and he gave me his phone number and told me to call him but only if I am serious. Now I got out of my first and only relationship which lasted 7 years 9 months ago. My exand I had a terrible break up and he has been on my mind lately and I am not quiet sure if I am fully over him. I am ready to move on and see new people so I am wondering how many of you would or wouldn't call and why?

[Saint_Michael 3]

well the best advice i can give you and this is coming from a guy whos breaks (not me personally), the best thing you can do is let "HANK" (thats what we will call him) know that you just got off a bad relationship and you need some time to sort stuff out, cuz since you still are thinking about "JOHN" (we shall call the ex that), then you need to take the time to figure everything out, cuz 7 years is a long relationship with one person and alot of stuff has happen between you and "JOHN". so you need to look very very deep in yourself and find out what you want to do talk to "JOHN" who you been together for 7 years or "HANK" who you just bumped into.some stuff to think about:-what was your relationship with him (good, bad, a mix of both) --that is the hardest to figure out since you can just say it with no problem, so 2 answers are the truth and the other one is a lie, if you figure out which one is the lie then you will know part of your answer.-what are your body heart and soul saying about both of them.-what kind of time you need to heal the emotional wounds.but in my opinion and its just that i think "hank" is going to make a booty call and thats about it, you should try to figure things out with "JOHN" and instead of breakinf up and bad terms and if you think it will no longer work, then break up on good terms and stay friends, cuz a bad break up is going to play a big role in future relationships that you might have.hopefully this helps, believe me and my current gf have broken up gotten back together so many times its just depression, but we are figuring out what makes each other tick.so again feel out what you want to do and don't rush into it.

[dymondgurl 0]

well the best advice i can give you and this is coming from a guy whos breaks (not me personally), the best thing you can do is let "HANK" (thats what we will call him) know that you just got off a bad relationship and you need some time to sort stuff out, cuz since you still are thinking about "JOHN" (we shall call the ex that), then you need to take the time to figure everything out, cuz 7 years is a long relationship with one person and alot of stuff has happen between you and "JOHN".

 

so you need to look very very deep in yourself and find out what you want to do talk to "JOHN" who you been together for 7 years or "HANK" who you just bumped into.

 

some stuff to think about:

 

-what was your relationship with him (good, bad, a mix of both)

--that is the hardest to figure out since you can just say it with no problem, so 2 answers are the truth and the other one is a lie, if you figure out which one is the lie then you will know part of your answer.

 

-what are your body heart and soul saying about both of them.

 

-what kind of time you need to heal the emotional wounds.

 

but in my opinion and its just that i think "hank" is going to make a booty call and thats about it, you should try to figure things out with "JOHN" and instead of breakinf up and bad terms and if you think it will no longer work, then break up on good terms and stay friends, cuz a bad break up is going to play a big role in future relationships that you might have.

 

hopefully this helps, believe me and my current gf have broken up gotten back together so many times its just depression, but we are figuring out what makes each other tick.

 

so again feel out what you want to do and don't rush into it.

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Ok Hank knows about my ex John he has been around. He and I have grown up together and we know each other now for over 10 years. John and I had a very bad break up and no longer speak. I thought I was over him and the wrong he has caused in my life but he seems to be haunting my thoughts and dreams lately. Hank and I had a very good talk last night which included our ex's. Now Hank is not about a booty call like I said we grew up togethe rit's much more than a physical attraction. John and I have nothing anymore. Like i said we no longer speak and there is no trust there. Our break up was really bad. Hank has told me how much he like dme for years now even when I was with John. i just never to his like for me seriously.

[Saint_Michael 3]

hmmm understanable but i suggest give your self some time to let the break up with "john" run its course, and that might before awhile, but it also gives you a chance to know about "HANK", you may know "HANK" but you got to really know him to think its even possible, because from what seen and know sometimes real good friends are usually something that could fall apart just as quick and ruin that friendship as well, so take your time with "HANK" and see where it leads.

[guangdian 0]

no.

Now I got out of my first and only relationship which lasted 7 years 9 months ago

since you have a relationship for 7 years 9 months,could you stand the short time relationship like that you got?i think you should thinking your 7 years relationship again.anyhow not so many would got a so long time relationship,not much.and you are serious for it.so you will make the choice by yourself.
goodluck with you.
guangdian

[fffanatics 0]

My advice would be to do whatever you think is right. To be honest, this is not a situation that anyone else should be able to convince you of what to do since there is no way we can understand exactly what you feel. I for one have been in plenty of relationships (ranging from 1 week to 7 months) and normally do not have a problem moving on since i have always believed that what is meant to happen will happen. So basically do what you think would make you the happiest person you can be.

[dymondgurl 0]

I am do not want the guy I had a 7 year relationship with. He lied and cheated and there is no trust there. He and I cannot even be friends because he appreciates nothing. I never gave thought that if the relationship between me and my child hodd friend doesn't work that I would lose him as a friend. I have a bigger dilemma which is I have a friend who lives in Texas that I have been talking to and grew to like deeply. He and I have both said If I was in Texas that we would be together. Now he works alot and is going back to school on the 26th of this month. He has been there for me when I needed him most. He likes me alot and has told me he wants to be the man who I give my love too. Now my dilemma is I want to give a relationship with my child hood friend a try but I like the guy in Texas more than anything and it hurts to not be with him. I have yet to tell either one of them about each other because my childhood friend just came back into my life 2 days ago. I know my childhood friend wouls understand how I feel better than the guy in Texas because the guy in TX and I have been talking for several months now and I never mentioned my childhood friend. My question is would you tell them about each other?

[Saint_Michael 3]

be brutually honest with them if either them don't except your situation then you will know another answer."Hank" seems like hes the understanding type but now you mention "FRANK" (the guy at texas), make things even more complicated. reason being is that if you tell them both reactions will change, and thus giving you a status which i won't mention and which you don't want.i say talk to "hank" first to get everything out in the open, if he is as understanding as you say he is then he will give you the space that you need, now when everything kosher with "hank" then move on to "frank" and explain everything up to the point where you told us (don't mention names just say i talk to some friends of mine or something like that).then and only then if both are on equal playing fields you have to decide which is the more beneficial party "hank" is lives near you or "frank" who lives in texas.

[dymondgurl 0]

Thanks Saint_Michael for the feedback and help. I am going to do exactly what you said. I already told Frank I needed tot alk to him about something important when he got free time. I decided I would call frank tomorrow and talk to him then. I pray all goes well and no one ends up hurt because that is not my intention.

[Unregistered 015 0]

I can see that you ''dont have feelings'' for a childhood friend but you also dont want to hurt him. Is he such a sensiteive guy? Anyway, just do what do you feel inside. If you like, what was his name, Frank? If you like Frank, in a romantic sense, then go for it baby! Dont worry about, Hank, just be hones! He will eventually get over it, will he?

[Saint_Michael 3]

no problem dymondgurl, im famous for helping people not here though, in the love department, but yeah don't follow these like a bible each situation is unique these are just helpful steps to get you on the right track.

[dymondgurl 0]

no problem dymondgurl, im famous for helping people not here though, in the love department, but yeah don't follow these like a bible each situation is unique these are just helpful steps to get you on the right track.

183162[/snapback]

Okay well I have yet to call my child hood friend. The guy from Texas has not returned my call even though I left him a message saying it was important that we speak. I am starting to think maybe him not responding is a sign. I am sure he will say he didn't check his voice mail but at this point I don't care to hear excuses. Do you feel I am being impatient?

[Saint_Michael 3]

just a little impatient, well of ourse if you leave enough messages on his phone then maybe he will call, but just wait until he calls back. (the guy from texas).

[dymondgurl 0]

no problem dymondgurl, im famous for helping people not here though, in the love department, but yeah don't follow these like a bible each situation is unique these are just helpful steps to get you on the right track.

183162[/snapback]

I think I am being very patient. I called Texas 2 days ago and still no call back. He has messenger too so there are no excuses as to why he did not call me back. I am not going to sit around and wait for a guy who I probably have no future with to call me back so I can make a life decision. Yes I am angry right now because to me he is showing me that he doesn't care. I am going to call my child hood friend later on tonight and tell him yes I am ready to give us a try.

[brandice 0]

this might seem like a weird question, I didn't see if it was addressed here, but have you met this guy in Texas and you're in a long distance relationship, or have you just been talking to him online and on the phone?