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brandice

Trial Seperation we were on a break

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Wow. It's funny when a really old thread pops back up where you saw that you were talking about a cool new band or a television show, but this is really a strange thing to have to revisit.Even in the most amicable of break-ups, there's always a time when you'll go through these feelings of not knowing whether or not your life will be normal again. You get so used to being in a relationship and now that it's gone you know your life isn't going to get back to the way it was before- it can't. And then you don't know if you'll ever have feelings for any other person... there's always a mix of things that go through your head. And that all happened to me. Almost a year ago! lol I'm fine. Everything in my life is back on track and I am happy with the situation that I am in. I still run into Matt every once in a while at clubs or restaurants. It's actually funny sometimes when he's out with his new girlfriend (I think there have been two or three since we broke up) and she gives me dirty looks. There's really no reason for her to do that so I just shrug and smile and go back to whatever I was doing. This has been a crazy flashback! I wonder if anyone else who has asked for advice or shared a story since this bit of the forum opened up has looked back at what they wrote and I wonder what they thought about it.

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I really do not know why couples go for trial separation. I mean, it's seriously dangerous. If a girl ask for a trial separation, most of them would mean they wanna break up with you, and that would seriously hurt me. I've experienced enough broke-ups

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You have to look at it on the flip side though, would you rather be with someone that wants to be with you, or is just there cause you have had one breakup over the 5 break up milestone etc.On the other hand also look at why your experiencing so many breakups perhaps. Cricitising trial seperation like that isn't getting no one a helping hand, because there are relationships out there that could benifit from these seperations.You move away from someone, you relise how much you actually love and depend on them being there and you gain a fresh lesh on the love between the two of you.

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If this happened to me (which it hasn't) I would not let them have a relationship in this manor with me again. As it shows your not the number one person who he/she likes, and as well as that he/she's willing to dump you for someone else, which isn't too good too. I suggest you talk to him about it, and if he/she's too of a chicken, well that is his/her fault. If he/she came back, I would say "no!" without question.

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About three weeks ago he comes to me with the idea of a "trial seperation" Now, I believe that "trial seperation" actually means, "I've been thinking of going out with some other girl but I know I'll go to hell or something if I cheat on you. so let's break up for a while and if it doesn't work out with her I'll come back to you."


that is so nuts. there's no such thing as "trial separation". oh my goodness! that is so wrong in so many levels. although the more appropriate term for that is "cool-off", but the phrase is just so wrong.

i would probably go ballistic if my girlfriend would say that to me. of course he obviously just wants out of the relationship. i guess he just don't know how to break that one to you. in the long run you would just be hurt badly. i mean he tells you about the trial separation then flies off just like that and go dilly-dallying with other girls while you sulk at your own mistake of agreeing to the deal. a relationship doesn't work that way... or at least you don't do a break-up and expect the other end to "wait" until things don't work well out with the current. he's hanging you up, you suffer and he gets to be happy. it's actually a lose-lose situation for you. if he goes off with another girl, you end up waiting 'til he splits with the girl. if he does split up, there's no assurance he'll come back to you. most likely he'll try to find another girl. and you'll end up waiting at the end of the line. if he does come back, there's no assurance that "things will be like it was when you first met" or "he'll change for the better". you don't have any better option between the two.

i suggest you break up with him and move on. jerks like him doesn't deserve a second chance.

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My wife and I just started living separetly was suppose to give us time to miss each other
 
She is constantly chumming around with some other guy she says they arre just friends.
 
She don't have any time for me but wants to go to the odd hockey game with me.
 
Yes we have two children 12 and 8.We have bin together 15 years and married 7.
 
Makes me very uncomfortable for her to pull me back every now and then,obviously she has driffted apart from me and she is not sure what she wants.WHAT SHOULD I DO?
 
 
-reply by mark

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