Girl I Can't Understand HELP

[kurt18th 0]

Ok... so I have this ex-girlfriend named Kati. She was a really nice girl while we were dating, very nice and sweet. During the end of the relationship she just started to randomly yell and be mean towards me. So then she broke up with me. I felt real bad cause she was like perfect to me. I realize now that she's not and I have gotten a new girlfriend. Well, I was on myspace a couple of days ago and I see she put on new pictures. I look at them and say "wow". She just looks better than ever. Amazing to me. I've started to talk to her again and I expected that she wouldn't want to talk, or she wouldn't care about anything I'd have to say, but she actually seems interested and is telling me that she wants to see me. She says she misses me and misses hanging out with me. I can't tell if she has really changed or not. But anyways. Like last night she sends me a couple of pics of her boobs with "Hi Anthony" written on them (that being my name ha). I want to know from you guys what exactly is she tryin to do. Could she actually want me back or does she just want me to think so just to torture me and make me misserable.

[epox 0]

"Exgirlfriend"
Guess it's my fault
That I got caught up
Knowing damn well that you & her just broke up
You say its about
Me and not the last
She's the past
Did I ask you 'bout how she was
No I didn't, so

What made you think I wanna know
What all ya'll did and felt before
Tell me what the hell
You even got wit me for, huh
(tell me what the hell you even got wit fo)
No matter how we fall you always show
That you ain't never ever let her go
Tell me what the hell
You even got wit me for, huh
You unlocked the door don't tell to go cuz' of

How can we work it out
When all I hear is 'bout you Exgirlfriend
I don't care about your exgirlfriend
Cuz' if we're so in love
Why i'm I jealous of your Exgirlfriend

Always talkin''bout
What I don't do and what she would do
Baby would you would you stop
(This is me)
Just getting rid of her just pisses me off
Cuz' if she's what you need
Then why you steady hangin around wit me
Then you better not let me leave
Tell me why to * on now
If I got to hear one more about her,ooh

What made you think I wanna know
What all ya'll did and felt before
Tell me what the hell
You even got wit me for, huh
(tell me what the hell you even got wit fo)
No matter how we fall you always show
That you ain't never ever let her go
Tell me what the hell
You even got wit me for, huh
You unlocked the door don't tell to go cuz' of

Don't tell me girl you can't go
Save your breath cuz' baby I know
You don't feel how you did before
You ain't ready to let her go
I can't waist no more time wit you
Knowing that I'll be number 2
You don't feel how you did before
You ain't ready to let her go

Notice from Becca:

You know you've got to QUOTE if the text isn't written by you, right? {I'm sorry if you didn't} Anyways I'm warning you, if you behave then I might deduct the warn per cent. But for now... *tut tut tut*

Edited August 16, 2005 by Becca (see edit history)

[msdeeva 0]

The question is: Does she know you have a new girlfriend?If she does, she could just have a little bit of the "That-will-always-be-my-man" syndrome. I don't know if it's because we are all just animals with an innate sense of possessiveness or what. But most people don't want to see their former significant other move on with another girl/guy. It's wierd. It's like we're attracted more to someone that's playing hard to get (at least it's like that for women). Although I find that a man reacts similarly. As far as dumping your new girlfriend for her: I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. Your old girlfriend is probably playing mind games with you. But when you really think about it, that time before you become really serious about a person, is just a big game. So it really depends on what you want. If you want your old girlfriend back, you cannot let her know that you are interested, or desperate, as she will just use you up and spit you back out. You will need to seem somewhat unattainable, until you can trust that she is eating out of your palm. Otherwise you'll just get hurt. If you feel that you don't want to waste your time with her, move on and be happy with your choice.Good luck

[kurt18th 0]

Ya, Kati knows I have a girlfriend. I got her right after we broke up. A little bit of it was to make her jealous. Damn, I seem to be worse and worse of a person everyday. Anyways, I think I'm attracted to her because I know I can't get her. Apparantly she wants this guy named Eric all of a sudden, and she's under the impression that everyone that shows an interest in her is trying to use her. Ah, I am so confused with her. I think that's another one of the reasons why I like her though. She's unpredictable. I can't figure her out. It seems like their will always be something new and exciting with her, but I don't know.

[Nani Cheri 0]

you know, i have the same thing, im with my boyfriend for 2 yrs now, he is so good to me, and he thinks im perfect 2. But i dont really like him as much as he likes me (im not really in love)...but I do love him since its been so long and so much time we spent together because we went with easchother so long. The reason why I dont like him so much as he likes me is, when we started dating, it went too fast, and before i knew we had a relationship. But I KNOW that if I break up, Im gonna regret it. I have feelings for someone else, and he does know that. But that someone else isn't as good as him. Hes kinda gangster hahah.Okay, what I think, she does want you back, because, it's true, when you break up too fast without thinking seriously about it. you gonna regret (because you can never leave someone who you loved just like that). "you dont know what you got until it's gone!" And that's the same thing here, I think she wants you back, because she sees that being without you isn't like she really thought.Im not leaving my bf, altough I really thougt about it. Because i always yell and being mean to him 2!! But now, I think about how it would be if I never saw him again....and even dough I can't live with him sometimes, I certainly cant live without him.

[brandice 0]

so Kati wants this guy Eric now but she's sending you pictures and flirting with

you? Here's my old lady opinion. She's thinking of getting invovled with someone else, and at the same time she's thinking of you, what she did to end your relationship, trying to figure out in her head if she's good girlfriend material, you know.

 

You showing interest in her is giving her a boost of self esteem. She might not actually be intersted in really getting back with you, it is a mind game, even if she really doesn't realize what she is doing.

[alive 0]

Hey Dude,
Funnily enough a very good mate of mine has been having trouble getting a girl he really wants. She acts like she really wants him and like he is perfect for her, when I talk to her on her own she isn't interested. I started to think is this a nasty streak in her, but then I realised no - it's just that she is a nice girl that loves to have something to say. Sometimes when we want things to be we change things so that they are right for us, the way I see it is that you musn't let your self get dragged under. If you are on the surface of the water then you can see and hear everything perfectly. If you go out of your depth or get caught on anything then you get dragged under, and from under the water it's not very clear atall - everything becomes blurred and eventually you'll drown. If you really love the girl you are with now then this thought shouldn't have crossed your mind. If your happy how you are then just leave it, but if you aren't satificed then my all means meete this girl again, allthough a word of warning : un-predictable people are dangerous. Take care mate an best of luck with the future... Thanks for your time, Sean Webber. (Alive)

[msdeeva 0]

Ya, Kati knows I have a girlfriend. I got her right after we broke up. A little bit of it was to make her jealous. Damn, I seem to be worse and worse of a person everyday. Anyways, I think I'm attracted to her because I know I can't get her. Apparantly she wants this guy named Eric all of a sudden, and she's under the impression that everyone that shows an interest in her is trying to use her. Ah, I am so confused with her. I think that's another one of the reasons why I like her though. She's unpredictable. I can't figure her out. It seems like their will always be something new and exciting with her, but I don't know.

175109[/snapback]

Well like I said before, if you choose to go that route with your ex-girlfriend, don't let her know that you're eager to get back with her. Act like it's no big deal. Once she sees that you're not falling all over her, she'll be attracted to you more. Think about it. How do you feel about her when she's playing all these mind games and sending pictures of her boobs, all the while telling you she's interested in some other guy. You are goo goo ga ga over her. So it's now time to flip the script. Don't let her know your interested. If you go out, don't call her right away, wait for her to call you. Act like your a major stud and keep on steppin. Date other girls and don't hide the fact that other girls are interested in you. That will send her over the edge of trying to hook you and reel you in.

 

I don't know why any of the stuff above works, but it does. In a way were like animals and very territorial. We compete for mates like animals, and don't like to share. I think this is innate in all of us. Once you start acting uninterested, you just become more interesting to the other party.

 

I guarantee it will either work, or during the process, you'll finally see her for what she is and get over her.

 

Hope whatever your choice is works out for you. As far as your other girlfriend -- I know it's not my business, but I feel that she has the right to know that you're not that interested in her so she knows where she stands. Cause it's kind of like you're playing the same games with her that your ex-girlfriend is playing with you. So just remember: "What goes around, comes around. Times 3."

 

Good luck

[kurt18th 0]

I am thinking of dumping the girlfriend I have now. Not really for anyone but because we just never get to see each other anymore. We're both busy and it turns out when one of us is free the other is busy. Oh, I just found out this Eric dude lives in like Conneticut, so no worried I guess. I think I'll go for the ignore her and play hard to get kind of thing. My friend Ryan told me to do that. I didn't talk to her for like a month, then she talks to me and asked why I never say "hi" to her anymore. So I started talking again. Now I think I'm giving too much attention. Maybe I'll just go for a little bit of conversation every couple of days. I don't know. I'm busy with football so it'll prolly work out anyways.

[msdeeva 0]

I am thinking of dumping the girlfriend I have now. Not really for anyone but because we just never get to see each other anymore. We're both busy and it turns out when one of us is free the other is busy. Oh, I just found out this Eric dude lives in like Conneticut, so no worried I guess. I think I'll go for the ignore her and play hard to get kind of thing. My friend Ryan told me to do that. I didn't talk to her for like a month, then she talks to me and asked why I never say "hi" to her anymore. So I started talking again. Now I think I'm giving too much attention. Maybe I'll just go for a little bit of conversation every couple of days. I don't know. I'm busy with football so it'll prolly work out anyways.

175384[/snapback]

Well do your thing. I always found that it's so much easier to play hard to get when you really don't care about the person. But it turns out that you have to do it sometimes when you do really care , because otherwise they'll take you for granted and walk all over you because you let them. It works both ways. As far as she is concerned, you can see her almost as much as you want, just so long as she knows that she's not the only one. If she knows that she doesn't have you exclusively, the hard to get thing will still work. Also, if she says something like, "how come we don't hang out?" or something lame like that, just say you've been busy, and act nonchalant. Soon she'll be practically throwing herself at the "New and improved" you. Just act confident and act like your sh!t don't stink. For some reason this stuff works. It worked on me, and it worked on the guys I tried that stuff with before I got married.

 

Make sure you post updates

[Johnny 1]

Uh oh...sounds like trouble. I'd say do what you want, just be cautious.(Man...I wish some girl would write Hi Johnny on her boobs for me...)

[kurt18th 0]

Well, this will prolly be the last update...Well I was bored a couple of nights ago, and completely ignoring the hard to get idea, I started to talk to her. Saying things I shouldn't of, so she basically knew she could control me anyway she wanted. She sent me another one of those pics, not boobs this time. I'll just say it was another part of her and a couple of her fingers. Anyways, I am talkin to her and my friend Kayla, who is also her friend goes "You really need to stop talkin to Kati." I ask why, so she sends what Kati wrote and one of the things she wrote was "I hate Anthony." That really made me wake up, and really made me break down. So I have decided to no longer waste her time or my time. I realized she's not that great of a person, but then again neither am I. I don't know if she realizes it or not but she has been torturing me ever since she left me, and for some reason I let her do it. Maybe she doesn't know she is. Maybe she knows but doesn't mean to. Maybe she doesn't care and just wants as much attention as she can get. But I am gonna stop talkin to her, if not forever then for a long time. I think I can be alot happier without her in my life, as she can be happy without me also. Thanks for all the advice though people. It sucks that I wasn't really able to use any of it but I really think this is the best thing to do. Ha, this is pretty ironic. I came on this site to get webhosting so I could upload a video of this band she liked, and she'd put it on her Myspace. I guess it really doesn't matter anymore though...

[msdeeva 0]

Well, this will prolly be the last update...Well I was bored a couple of nights ago, and completely ignoring the hard to get idea, I started to talk to her. Saying things I shouldn't of, so she basically knew she could control me anyway she wanted. She sent me another one of those pics, not boobs this time. I'll just say it was another part of her and a couple of her fingers. Anyways, I am talkin to her and my friend Kayla, who is also her friend goes "You really need to stop talkin to Kati." I ask why, so she sends what Kati wrote and one of the things she wrote was "I hate Anthony." That really made me wake up, and really made me break down. So I have decided to no longer waste her time or my time. I realized she's not that great of a person, but then again neither am I. I don't know if she realizes it or not but she has been torturing me ever since she left me, and for some reason I let her do it. Maybe she doesn't know she is. Maybe she knows but doesn't mean to. Maybe she doesn't care and just wants as much attention as she can get. But I am gonna stop talkin to her, if not forever then for a long time. I think I can be alot happier without her in my life, as she can be happy without me also. Thanks for all the advice though people. It sucks that I wasn't really able to use any of it but I really think this is the best thing to do. Ha, this is pretty ironic. I came on this site to get webhosting so I could upload a video of this band she liked, and she'd put it on her Myspace. I guess it really doesn't matter anymore though...

176018[/snapback]

Don't get depressed about it. I know it sucks that you realize that she was just using you to make her feel better about herself (that's exactly what she was doing - torturing you/using you, because it makes her feel desired/wanted/beautiful). Being how I was back in the day, if I was a guy, that would give me all the incentive I needed to torture her right back. But if you are truly over and done with her, don't waste your time.

 

If you still care about her (as I suspect you do), take my previous advice seriously, and don't show her any emotions. You can spend time with her, but leave abruptly and tell her you have to go, cause you have a date. That will send her reeling. If you're on the phone with her, get off the phone with her first. Keep the phone conversation brief. Many of these techniques are used by professional daters to land a husband, but men use these techniques all the time, most of them not even realizing when they're doing it. It's called being a player. And that's probably what she's ultimately attracted to . Most girls are. It's like it's in our DNA. We think if we can conquer a player, than we are like the ultimate woman. It's a game. You just need to learn how to play it better. Women are attracted to confidence, and can tell when a man doesn't have it.

 

In addition, she might have said she hated you to someone else, but suprisingly she might have been just trying to save face. Likewise, feelings like that can easily change to infatuation overnight if you play your cards right. If she sees you as unattainable, she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand, trying to reel you in.

 

Believe me, it works. Just fill your day up with other activities that don't involve her (i.e., sports, dates with other girls, hanging out w/ friends, etc.). This way you won't be obsessing over her. If follow my advice, before long, she'll be obsessing over you.

[kurt18th 0]

Oh, well just a bit ago she said something to me on AIM when I was away. I haven't talked to her for only like one day and she write " i just want to tell u i care about u and wut u said before was wrong ok i love u ur like my bro i cant bare for one sec to have u think i hate u but i g2g bye." I didn't get to reply because she left. Even if she hadn't of left I'd have no idea what to say. Any ideas?

[msdeeva 0]

Oh, well just a bit ago she said something to me on AIM when I was away. I haven't talked to her for only like one day and she write " i just want to tell u i care about u and wut u said before was wrong ok i love u ur like my bro i cant bare for one sec to have u think i hate u but i g2g bye." I didn't get to reply because she left. Even if she hadn't of left I'd have no idea what to say. Any ideas?

176086[/snapback]

You have two choices:

 

1. you can reply with "No worries." and nothing else. That will let her know that you aren't even worried about her, because you have other things to do. And at the same time it will stump her, b/c she's used to your attention. She'll be hounding you believe me.

 

or

 

2. you can choose not to respond at all, which will have her wondering if you even got it, or if you care.

 

Depends on how you want to play it. Either way, she'll be stumped and be trying to get your attention before long. Just make sure you act like you have other things to do and she's the last thing on your mind. Give her a taste of you, then just snatch it away, whether you're talking on the phone or aim - just abruptly get off after like 2 minutes. What ever you do, make sure you cut it short first. If you're hanging out with her, don't spend the whole day, just be like "I gotta go, I got a date (this afternoon, tonight, whatever)." She needs to know that you have a life, and she's not the only girl whose interested.

 

Let us know what happens