Bad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating Cheating on your mates?

[iGuest 3]

I have been with this guy for 3 years not married just live with him and I have a 14 month old daughter with him but I have been cheating on him with this other guy for about 1 month. The thing is the guy I live with is 37 and my boyfriend or lover is 24 hes only 1 year older then me. Please help me to see what I should do.-mari

[iGuest 3]

Replying to DeathLockI THINK THAT YOU ARE A TOTAL SCANK. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHEATED ON? DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT HURTS? YOU MUST NOT HAVE ANY MORALS OR VALUES...OR A HEART.

[iGuest 3]

cheating sounds like a pain

Bad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating

 

If ya need to be with more than one person then don't have an exclusive relationship with someone and tell em ya love em and all that.

 

It would be honest to just tell someone ya wanna date others and then it's all in the open. No surprises.

 

Cuz when someone says they love ya and within an hour, day, or week they are having sex with someone else, knowing full well ya gonna hurt if ya know (or they wouldn't hide what they are doing anyway!!)..They risk the relationship with ya and don't care...Then...Ummm..Sorry to tell ya...They do not love ya.

 

They don't care.

 

So you on here saying cheating is ok then you are even cheating yourself with lack of truth. Cuz if it would hurt you for the one you are with to be with someone else...Helllo?

 

But if ya wouldn't be hurt at all...Then you really don't have something with the person ya cheatin on.

 

Lol...Sounds wired to read that all back. Just read slowly. Ya feel me?

 

I have had the time of my life. I am always honest and never cheated. I sleep well. If I tell someone I luv em then it's cuz I do and wouldnt risk the luv for nuthin.

 

I like dating and the guys I date know that. We see each other in places with other people...But its ok.

 

Dating around is fun and ya get to know lotsa different kind a guys. I have good relationship with my dates because we are honest and truthful with each other.

 

There will always be cheaters. I don't care about em. I don't cheat. I just have fun dating. When ya don't have to worry then you can have more fun than ever.

 

Take it easy ya'll.

 

-reply by jedifriend

[nstay 0]

cheating hurts everyone nobody likes them,try putting yrself in the shoes of a person who had been cheated.especially when you truly love your other half you'll get hurt deeply mentally even if its not a serious relationship, you will still get hurt.even if you think that you're being cheated on by your mate, shouldn't you just talk to him or her and see if there is anyway to start over again of the relationship?if it couldnt be done then break-up? you are just plain immature.by the way and you knowing you would be offending 9 out of 10 people here and you still post it.i can see that most of the people here are pissed of by you(including me).although i have not gone through it before i can feel that cheating will really hurt peopledeeply.if you wanna hook up with a lady, it'll most likely be the one which you like right?and you still cheat on her?...

[iGuest 3]

I think cheating is bad as it obv damages the trust you have in a relationship and with someone you care about...However saying that, I had been with my bf for about a year and a half and then I went to uni and met someone else and we had a bit of a thing and I did cheat on my bf with him, but I regret it imensley, because I wasn't seeing my bf as much as I used to see him I forgot how much he meant to me and the other guy I met was a player and just wanted me for a shag and I didn't realise that, I was considering breaking up with my bf for him, but I told my bf what happened, and he was obv really heart broken, so we went on a break for a week so I could figure out what I wanted, and I slept with this other guy again, and then my bf came down to see me the following weekend and we got back together, even though I still wasn't really sure about everything I was coming home for christmas so I thought we would be able to sort it out so I tried to forget about this other guy and me and my bf tried to move on from what happened, but then when I went back after christmas I slept the other guy again and I knew I couldn't keep pretending with my bf that things were going to work out, so I broke up with him...Then I find out what a **** the other guy was so I was single for a bit and had a couple of flings, and then I started to realise how much I still loved my bf, so after about a month we got back together and had both had some time to come to terms with things and what we wanted and we've been taking it slowly and are still happily back together 6 months on. I know he will never forget what I did to him and I still wish I could take back what happened but we've both dealt with it and we want to make it work. Looking back I should have broken up with my bf before I slept with the other guy and then it would have given us time to figure things out and it wouldn't have led to me sleeping with him while I was still with my bf despite the fact that I was drunk when it happened, it's in the past now and we are building things up again. I just wanted to know what you thought about it...

[iGuest 3]

NEVER EVER!

Bad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating

 

Replying to DeathLock

 

Yeh so my opinion on this is that when you have a relationship... It is because you are tryint to find the one for life... I know people who only dated one person and married that person... Because they succeeded after the first relationship.

 

... If you cheat on someone it is because you don't sincerely love that person... Which is one of the leading causes to relationship failures... Because there is that chance your lover could find out!

 

WHY RISK IT!

... So long story short... As suggested by others

 

DON'T DO IT...

[iGuest 3]

new views

Bad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating

 

If we were raised differently things would be different as well. We were raised to think cheating is bad and when we grow up we'll find that soul mate and everything will be ok and we'll be with them forever and ever.

 

Well this is what happens, you end up with that person, you get married, then your body, spirt tells you that you want something different because things change in the relationship and they don't stay like they were when you first met. So either you can stay unhappy forever by making the other person happy or leave and make the other person unhappy.

 

You have your life intertwined with another person, to seperate would be hard or impossible because you have everything shared, it's like splitting one person into two. If you cheat, you can keep the relationship and still experience what your fairy tail marriage is now lacking unless they find out.

 

It does not mean you love someone less just that you need the things the other person used to provide like their love or whatever. You can love 2 people at once and thats the problem, our society teaches us we can't love 2 people at once.

 

Lets start doing this with everything, we'll eat the same food forever, keep the same job, watch the same tv show, keep the same apartment, keep the same shoes, coat cause if we dare think about something else it's cheating!

[iGuest 3]

Replying to DeathLockThats the stupidist reasoning EVER! what makes you think that as soon as you get a wife you will magically stop cheating? Secondly relationships should be about pouring everything you have into the relationship and you cant do that if your foling around with someone else. It is sooo nieve to think it is ok to stay in a relationship in which both are cheating on eachother because that means you both are just using the other for sex and so there is no heart put into it. The only reason they stayed in the relationship is because it gave them the security of knowing that they can call this person anytime they want for a booty call-reply by Leonidas

[Deretto 0]

I believe in dating around. You don't have to be someones boyfriend or girlfriend in order to date them. Everyone seems to forget that. How're you supposed to meet the perfect one if you keep tying yourself to one person for a long period of time?As for sex. I'd say go for it. I have sex with most of my friends. It's just something we do. Obviously we all get checked up on a regular basis just to be safe and whenever we have contact with anyone outside of our network.Even when I do find that someone, I'd still want to have sex with some other people now and then. I'd let him know of course. Heck, I might want him to join in! Things can be interesting and a lot of fun when you have an open mind. ^-^;

[iGuest 3]

By far you are the only person whom I read that has been able to think critically. It is very true, the norms, rules, perspectives that we have about relationships are based on how we've been socialiazed, conditioned, taught to think as being the correct way of having a relationship. I've been in a relationship for more than 5 years, and until now I've been able to understand why do I feel like I need something else. I love the girl I'm with so much, she has a great personality, smart, our sex life is great, yet I've recently felt the need to meet new people, to experience something new. We've been experiencing problems because of that, because I've "cheated", even though I feel terribily wrong for hurting her, I know that I wouldnt be ok with myself or happy at all if I don't have the opportunity to experience new things. I know she truly cares about me and our relationship because despite of several incidents she has been by my side, very distrusful now but shes been there...We are currently taking a break because I need sometime to think, I know she really doesnt trust me since I've been honest with her and told her how I feel. I am very aware of my feelings, which is were I feel I'm cought in the middle, should I stay with her and repress my feelings of having a new experience or should I let the 5 years and more go into the past for a new life...

-reply by Dr.Sex

[iGuest 3]

Dude, just don't date someone if youwant to sleep with someone else..Or just BE HONEST and have an open relationship...This is NOT HARD.  It's not cheating, if you aren't breaking the rules, so CHANGE THE RULES!

[iGuest 3]

To All Who Thing Cheating Is OkayBad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating

When you are in a relationship you shouldn't cheat on your spouse. The sexual things you do with your spouse are supposed to be special and mean something to you, because yes a relationship isn't just about sex, but it is a big part of it. When you are cheating on your spouse that means you are unhappy with the sexual part of your relationship and when you are unhappy with sexual part of your relationship you shouldn't be with that person. Yes some people will argue that cheating helped there relationship or someone's relationship they know but it didn't really, because I bet none of those people are still together, or wont be for long, cheating helps, put your problems on hold, but at the end of the day, there still going to be there, you will ether cheat some more, or realize that you need to brake it off with your spouse.  

-reply by samantha

[iGuest 3]

idiot!Bad Relationship, Partner Trust & Cheating

 Replying to DeathLock

I think that you are probably the stupidest person I have ever met! I'm sure that this was written by a man that wa thinking with his junk Cheating is nasty, disrespectful, and for people who are not secure enough with in their own skin to stay with one person. If cheating is what you think is keeping your relationship together then CLEARLY that is a bad relationship and you don't need to be with him/her.

People that think like you are the same people that are spreading around stds and f**king good hearted peoples heads up. If cheating was not a bad thing then you would  not go to your partner and allow them to decide if they wunna b with someone who is f**king around on them. Its funny because I bet you don't have a daughter! If you did I knwo you would want her to be with someone who respects and is FAITHFUL to her. All these people have issues with gay people getting married, when in fact they should have an issue with most people gettin married this day in age. It is people like you that are destroying the beautiful and sacred side of marriage and relationships.

how would you feel if you found out your partner was cheatin on you? how would you feel if they gave you an std? or how would you feel if someone did that to your child?

-reply by Chelsea

[gisellebebegirl 0]

You know i kinda agree on what your saying, its perfectly fine as long as the other person does not find out.but i mean if i was the person who found out, i would be devastated(me being a girl, with a low selfsteam) i would think that you do not like me, that you think im ugly or fat, or that you are simply just playing with me,and if i found one girl you had on the side, god knows how many others you have OR HAVE HAD, that i did not know about, and what if im just "One of your girls" enstead of THE GIRLyou know/? i do not think guys realise how sad girls get when they find out they have been cheated on, ofcourse we put our angry face upfront, but thats just because we have been stabbed, and cannot let our guard down without falling to the ground, from how much you have hurt us by doing that

[iGuest 3]

Lying creates distance ..Involuntarily. And distance creates breakups. Cheating is, of course, "bad" because you are clearing the path to a breakup. You don't' normally lie to a person you like or atleast respect, like best friends or parents - people you expect to know for a long time. It's true

But say you wanna have one of them open relationship-thingies. That's not lying. No, no, no That's like saying to your girlfriend "you are TERRIBLE and I diserve better!". But it's not lying.

You want a open relationship? 

Two words : Internet Dating ...You'd be surprised how many chicks out there are up for "no-strings-attached-fun".

-reply by CheshireCat