Poem: Untitled Here we go

[yoladango 0]

Okay. i would like to know what people think:You've lost your roots; Dropped your leaves.The hard echoes of lonesome laughterAre mosquitoes against your Redwood skin.

[qingtian 0]

I'm not sure what to make of it... I'm persuming it's describing someone, the words used are good... overall the poem is alright, but kind of short I guess or maybe this kind of structure is supposed to be like that. All the same, good work

[yoladango 0]

thanks!!! yeah, the shortness and sparseness of words is meant to highlight the emotions of loneliness and dis-association.

[Lunaray 0]

Hmm... I'm not sure about the overall impression... But it is quite good =). I'm just not a fan of short poems =X

[deejames 0]

Well, nice but short.. it will be more fascinating if you add more lines in it..

[guangdian 0]

Well , in my opinion, it is hard for me to write a true poem.Cause ,i think a real poem should obey some basic princiles.A true peom should contain these elements:Peotical image(the picture in words);Rhythm(the musical flow of language);Foot;syllable;stree... ... Foot-- ----monometer,dimeter,trimeter,tetrameter,pentameter,hexameter,heptameter,octameter...Rhythm:------jambus,trochee,anapaest,dacty... ....Rhyme:-------single/male rhyme;double/femal rhyme/triple tryme,etc... If ignore the above rules , the stuff we crecate is nothing but some irreglated words ...