Hello
For starters, I must say I had a good time reading this stuff. I went through it twice over, and I think it has the sort of sonic appeal that is good for a song. However, I am afraid I read and write poems - even worse, it is usually free verse, so I am clueless on meter, rythm, and so on.
Only a couple of quick nits - if you don't mind - I think the "why did I fail so miserably" line is tad too long and sticks out rather conspiciously. A shorter phrase might make it a little smoother. And more tersness will reduce some of the self-pity, and perhaps enhance the quality. A line edit suggestion:
Look inside of me and the empty space - I'd suggest you remove the 'of' for grammatical consistency.
This song feels like it has some back story to it. If you're writing within context, it's fine, otherwise I'd suggest you include some more concrete indication of what's going on as opposed to the abstract notions you've already used. Just a passing thought, though, not a serious problem.
I'd like to see more along these lines. Good work I especially liked the line 'wait for the perfect plan', I sort of identify with that attitude. By the way, if any of the comments don't suit you - please ignore them. I'd have given more detailed feedback, but I'm still in the middle of reading the rulebooks, and I'm not sure if overly long posts are good manners or not. In any case, keep these coming.
Cheers!