verdant

i dream in black and white, once i hit my head anddreamedincolor,but ithink i was awake. there a group of scientists who are investigating this theory. i found this article over at http://www.sandia.gov/, copy and pasted to save you time and effort. Notice from rvalkass: Being hosted you should know that anything you copy from another site must have quote tags around it. http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/

prayer is a really intresting thing. like it was said above. it really does go deeper than words. god, the creator of us, the one who looks into and can perfectly read our hearts really doesnt need words from us to understand what is going on. so in my opinion, prayer is more of a thing for us to re prove our faith to ourselves and show to god how much we can open up to him. which is 100% if you like it or not.but the idea of not needing words really set me on a new idea. i had heard of several people who prayed by letting our all their negativity and throwing their burden on god. as you're supposed to but after a while their reached a point where they felt like they had nothing to say, i felt this too. after a while i enjoyed simply sitting doing nothing and enjoying the openness with god that cost me nothing. i felt like the being that was infinite love and perfect understanding wasnt just some far off entity in another relm but i felt connected, like he was next to me, inside of me and in everything else he has created.sometime later i decided to leave my congregation, because i didnt like the people and i felt that christianity was very constricting and relied too much on fear to control its faithful. and thus i embarked on my own journy to find other embodiments of gods love. i found eastern religion, i found paralels, and i found that it would make no sense for a god who is love to take his beloved creation and only show people in the west the light. and soon after i found meditation. i found meditation to be amazingly paralel to praying. it depended on the type and reason for meditation. but after a certain point i found a unifying point between meditation and prayer. in prayer i found that after getting comfortable in my praying, emptying out my heart and finaly not haveing anything more to say, i got to a point where i felt somewhat fufilled and i didnt want to stop praying. i had reached a state of peace where i felt forgiven for my mistakes and i could forgive myself for my mistakes.in meditation the method is almost exactly the same but in order to understand why they dont have the same ideas you have to understand their cultural differences. in asia there was no jesus, no prophecies about god, heaven, second coming or anything. in a way it was like they we're forced to find their own way. and in doing so found that bit of divinity within human beings. and when their found this divine spark they didnt know what to call it. they didnt have things like jesus, yhwh, or angels to make sense of all this. so they called it undefinable, beyond human reasoning, the tao, and enlightenment.but all the same they were able to find that same peace that comes over you when you form a open connection with god. and with that frequency of thought they were able to find ways to handle the human condition. if you were to look at prominent persons in the history of Eastern thought. Taoist masters, Gurus and buddhas they all are accounted to have done things like jesus. holding great wisdom, healing, even their teachings paralel each other. they all outline methods and reasonings for finding peace and enhancing the quality of ones life through unity with god, tao, dharma... ect. i know im already on a tangent, but try takeing up some literature from taoism such as the hua hu ching and compare it christian teachings. you'll find identical teachings and ideals for the advancment of human beings on every level.now to get back to the topic of prayer and how much it is like meditation... alright i'll admit there is one difference with praying i've found that when you expect or create an opening for something that seems like a miracle to happen it will happen. but this mostaly happens due to factors. for instance in the original post, the people showing up right after she had prayed the previous night... if you visit a congregation or show ANY intrest in their religion they will go through a lot of effort to bring you into their congregation. if their anything like jehovahs witnesses, they probably have training they go through to make sure they do and say the right things, all this atop the fact that christianity places very strong emphasis on faith. belief in things happening though you dont know how or why create the perfect space for people to 'hear the voice of god', 'see angels' or have mysterious guidance to do or help people. not so say i dont belive in these occurances, but it sadly makes a perfect space for fanatics too. but lets not get into that now...however with meditation, which came from a culture that is much more focused on being self sufficiant. it no surprise to see people doing things like healing others, talk about being your own messiah. because in their experience no one can change who you are but you. and if you can reach a level of wisdom or enlightenment it is because of your own hard work in destroying your ego. in meditation, you'll find teachings that talk about breaking down the veils or in some peoples cases walls that seperate them from divine conciousness. just like with 'praying your heart out' as i used to put it, you eventualy reach a point where you feel at one with yourself, the divine and all the manefestations of the divine around you.which ever method you use to come to a clear and accurate understanding of god, the trick is to be consistant and faithful. without some form of faith in yourself or otherwise you wont create the space needed for spiritual evolution. and without that you'll just get fustrated and give up.

i think you'll get bored pretty quick. and you'll find it hard to stick to a minimalistic plan while everyone is living in a maximalistic manner. truth is, you'll find that by achiveing this sort of balance you seem to outline here you will probably outcast yourelf from things a deep part of you activly needs to keep yourself mentaly healthy. true health isnt just keeping a healthy diet. it also includes keeping up with your mental needs and achiving a sort of happiness. if you dont you will become depressed or numb. which is worse is up to you and how you handle things. everyday you'll see oprotunities that present themselves to you, and they'll be little things. like once you get this little apartment, there will b this really hot chick that lives next door to you, or something. she'll always look at you with intrest but what will you do about it? probably nothing. you'll probably wuss out, go in you room and whack. if anything what you should be working on is diversifying yourself. if you round yourself out and becom more balaced, you an find more ways to apply yourself and better yourself and the situations you find yourself in.

if it were according to me, it would be that nothing happens at death. you seperate and dispurse the three things that made you. your body (including everything that made up your personality, since that all in your brain.) your energy, the stuff that made you animeate, and your soul (the spark of divinity that makes you a part of the living universe) you can disagree if you want but i think if you take out any one of those three you'll die in some respect or another. regaurdless of how it happens once you are dead. its cool. theres nothing. if there wasnt nothing and there was some sort of awareness. you wouldnt realy be dead. now would you? the way i think of it being dead means absolute nothingness. no senses to interpit any sort of reality. reality of course keeps on going, but you do not.unless, this world we live in is all acording to some sort of external dream had by someone else. or thing. that would really annoy me though.

oooh, this is intresting. i've done a few simular things like this, but not to the extent of not needing to sleep for over a day. its hinted at and mentioned in various texts that meditation can do things like sleep, the two can even be blended! much like the sleeping monks in china i read about and people who do different forms of dream yoga.now as for weather this is healthy or not... i'd say if you did this all the time it would be very unhealthy for you. the human body, regaurdless of the brain needs time for rebuilding and up keep of tissues organs and muscles. espesialy if youre an active youth like it sounds. you body is going to need at least 4-6 hours regularly to rebuild its self. now, if you were to do meditation, deep meditation for 3 hours regularly it might be a bit better depending on what meditations you are doing. but still you will need if not eventualy want time to simply "turn off" and go to sleep. im really becomeing curious as to what form of meditation you are using. but all that aside i'd like to suggest, if i may, that you get a bit more proficent with you meditation so that theres not so much guess work with what you are doing and havin to wonder if what you are doing is healthy. theres a lot of meditation horror stories, i even have a couple myself. but it helps to know for sure that what you are doing is okay and healthy. to lean these things either find a teacher, or some books to study from. or, find meditations that are very clear cut. things like contemplation of zen koans, pranayama and controled breathing or vizualizations. try to stay clear of the advanced medtiations that have to do with taoist alchemy or kundalini yoga unless you have a teacher/master/guru/person.also for an active person like you i'd suggest you start drinking specific teas. with bit of research you can find teas that will help you focus, stay awake, and active. you an also find teas that help with relaxation and memory. i am persoanly very fond of Wong Lo Kat tea. it is a blend of herbs that detoxifies the blood, excretes toxic substances from the blood stream, acts as an anti-bacterial and antiseptic effects, and helps to remove toxins from environmental pollution. also will reinforce the normal cleansing process of the Kidney, Liver, & Spleen and help body to clear away toxic substances effectively. This drink also helps gets rid of pimples, blemishes, rashes and infections of the skin.i am personaly a taoist, and most books i study have recipes for teas that do very specific things for the body. if you can find it i'd suggest going to your local boarders or barns and noble book store and looking for "Scholar Warrior: An Introduction to the Tao in Everyday Life" by Ming-dao Deng. besides being a great realistic aid for understanding the taoist lifestyle, the book lists various recipes for teas and foods that can help you in various ways. it also outline a few different meditations.

i'd like to mention pokemon. please dont ban me.i loved how the rules were simple and easy to communicate. not a lot of planning and effore had to go into it, yet at the same time it wasnt completely up to a random drawing of cards. at the time i used to play it (like 12 years ago) there were people who played all through out my middle school. what i thought was really cool was the pokemon league. tons of peopl would come and we'd challenge each other. i especialy like how evern though pokemon was a very simple game with some serious planning you could make the game very complicated.

you know when im feeling especialy emotional i find that it helps to have some patience and wait. i give myself some time to go and do something else first so i can calm down, and get my head straight, an after accomplishing whatever distractive activity i've found i return to my problem and i look to the core of what it is. giving things some time settle is a big aid that i have found to save myself from a lot of mistakes. simply put rushing about and doing things when you are emotionaly unstabe creates nothin but problems.now as for the things i do when im angry or whatnot, i've found some pranayama to be effective. pranayama is a branch of yoga that focuses of controlling the breath as a form of seperating your mind from the illusions of reality so that you remember that the world is made up illusions that people create and the most effective way to see through the illusion is to look closely at the factors and issues that make up the present situation you find yourself in. after some practice i actualy dont find myself getting angry with valid problems that occure from combinations of factors. i've come to look at the world in terms of things/issues that make up not only what i am thinking or seeing but what others are seeing the present as.another thing i do is read. which is a complete 180 from the concept behind my use of pranayama listed above. i've found that sometimes all my mind really needs is sometime to get everything off my mind for a while, and so when i dont have the time to sit quitely and do some pranayama i get a book that i find intresteing and read it untill i am completely forgeting what angered me in the first place. now i must admit that this is not always the best way to get over whatever is bothering me, its whats called escapism. it is finding a way out of your problems temporarily without doing anything to fix the real issues in the first place.there are tons of forms of escapeism. most are rooted in some sort of procrastination or personal defense mechanisim. sometime people use video games, books, or even excersize. litteraly anything could b used. i think thats kind of the nature of hobbies. but theres on thing that i have found that works better than most and that is listening to people who have problems worse than you do. i used to have a friend i knew from highschool that was a reall problem child, not attractive, and everyone in school picked on her and called her a ****. she of course didnt know any really good methods to deal with her problems so she'd only get into more trouble. but for some odd reason i'd go over to her house and hang out with her a bit, play halo live with her brother and then eat dinner with her family. and almost every moment i was over there i got to sit and listen to the chaos her family was, constant bickering and fighting, areguing and endless fussing. it wasnt until later that i realized going over there was actualy my own way of making myself realize that my problems wernt as big as hers. and even if i did have a big problem i reveled in the fact tht i was the kind of person who tackled his problems and knew not to let them weigh myself down. having something to look at that presnts an idea of how to better yourself can be a catalyst for constructive action. some people have pictures of religeous figures like jesus, buddhas, hindu gods, gurus and saints. things like these if you are firmly devoted to them can be like a static mindset you have set aside, which when you turn your attention to these things they will remind you of things. not just someting positive but an example for how to go forward with your life. and not everyone uses religious figures, for some its a great grandparent who was finacialy succesfull, or a historical figure who stood for something close to the hearts and minds of many. i personaly enjoy making my own versions of shinto and taoist protection seals. i know thats really far out there, but the trick is to find something that tugs at your heart strings, something that motivates you instantly.

alright, i've got a comment on this. now first off, we are human beings, its possible we might have the capacity for telepathy. however i belive the cause for these common occurances have a far simpler explanation. the keyword here is factors. millions of factors come into play each and everyday of our lives, most go unnoticed. by being observant, very observant one can come to understand and veiw most of the more directly influential factors. to start, take notice of simple things and take note of why you do things the way you do? when it rains and you must go outside, do you rush outside imediately, or do you check the weather, grab a jacket and becareful of slipping as you walk? eventualy you begin to clearly see your habits, and why you have these habits. have you ever been about to do something and heard the voice of a parental figure in the back of your head, telling you how to do something right? this is another factor, one of the bigger influences on human life, upbringing. the method used to raise you, the culture you were initialy exposed to has a vast influence on the choises you make in your life. many people say that when a pregnant woman eats one type of food during her pregnancy her child will come to eat that same food often through out their lives. this is factorial influence. now, so that you can see and practice this high level of observance of the world around you, im going to outline some of the experiences you had above with factors that once explained will remove some of the mystery about the experiences. #1) next time you have this sensation, look at the person that own this or that car or thing, think about what gives you the impulse that you might be correct. is the person possesed of a certain personality that would have him buy a red car? is the car of luxury status? does he seem like a person who can afford that car? some peopl in many cases surround themselves with things that express who they are, and it is no surprise when you are able to catch on to that. #2 when looking at factors, you will see many reasons behind this sort of phenomenon. this happens with me and my riends all the time, we've known each other for nearly a century and our habits, thoughts and personalities have blended to the point that when we are all together we do no guess work at finding a funny joke to share, making conversation or finding food to eat that we ALL like. people who see this call us the 'unit'. and just like a family unit we have spent so much time together, been through soo much, that we know each other on a very deep level, one at which we could esily predict what we may want to eat. sometimes its a matter of taste, sometimes its convinece, but we often fin ourselves with the same idea, when we talk, we all bring up the same points. its creepy sometimes. but now i think i should expound apon the final factor involved that makes this sort of phenomenon seem strange... telepathy, is something that very cool, but in our daily lives we dont need it. if we did we woul develop it naturaly or artificialy. but our minds are amazing things, they are incredibly fast. and i beliv that is why it seems so strange that you you pick up on something that there is no way you could have known. right now, when you are alone, and you go to do something take notice of your internal dialouge. when going to grab cookies out of an oven do you say to yourself "man thats hot, i better grab some oven mittens" in most cases you might think something brief like "oven mit" or you might not think anythin to yourself at all. this same thing can happen with noticing all the factors that make up our world, you brain can operate so fast that your consious mind my remain unaware of it. and realy thats what makes things like those phenomenon seem so out of this world, or like some strange ability.

my personal belifes run along the lines of taoism. it was mentioned in the first post not to espouse a preticular religion, but the beilifes of taoism are very difficult to explane without interjecting the word 'tao', which according to the tao te ching is a word lao tsu used to describe the indescribable. for all i know the word 'tao' could have been someting he made up on the spot...my belifes however, returning to the topic of discusion here, are mostaly without dogma and tend to sound like the advice of someone who upholds holistic practice. i dont belive, well i wont say belive, but i dont worry about offending a god or gods, i dont worry too much about demons (although i have had friends who have been attacked by them). for the most part i worry about doing what is healthy for my mind and body. keeping this in balance with a amature effort to be ethical i tend to arrive at something that is like taoism explained through christianity. this is mostaly due to the fact that i was brought up a christian, and as the bible says "train up a boy according to the way for him and he will not turn away from it." so i've foun that through all the meditation and spiritual experiences i've had, at my base level of understanding my ideas on things revert to being in terms of spritual beings used in christianity. i notice that my mantra use, marrow breathing, and other obscure taoist practices are greatly strengthend when i allow my mind to use the imagery of angels, archangels, the holy spirit and an a soveren, almighty god.the intresting thing i've noticed about all this led me to make a theory, and i belive that this theory holds the summation of my belifes. the theory is that our lives, our ways of thinking, and our desires like buddha said are the cause of our suffering and bar us from enlightenment. and in this way i've noticed that the self-created prison our minds our in is like a pyramid. looking at all the religions of the world, christianty, hinduism, paganism, taoism, satanism, ect. i notice many things incommon especialy in the words and experiences of their highest sages and prophets. like a pyramid, the higher one raises ones mind the more one ends up at the top of this pyramid. and at the top is a core concept, a form of imagery, a zenith! that is open to interpitation by he person experiencing this height. in the east certain buddhas we're said to have reached enlightenment through different senses, taste, smell, sight and hearing. in the west we have people experinceing unity with god, and in india there are gurus who practice yoga, which means unity with the divine and are doing miricles that are on the same level as jesus.the vast majority of peoples minds are operating on a very low level, as if they were asleep, and looking at the worlds religions, almost all of them have instructions for spiritual development and evolution if not some way to become a vesel for the will of a divine being. the reason i chose to follow the offering of taoism is because in my oppinion taoism is very versitile, and because of its lack of any major dogma, one is able to find peacable understanding of those who do strictly adhere to specific dogmas.

yes, constantly people around the world are posting up something, and in most cases its at least new to you. i love how i can find anything with google, especialy with torrents. torrents are awesome, and while being a little fustrating in some cases, i can usualy get what i want downloaded in at least 2-3 days. and i love how very few topics exist that are not hunt-down-able.

i dont think i've ever not ben able to to stop dreaming when i want to. now, i dont have bad dreams or nightmares, so i guess im a bad example. in most cases my dreams tend to be some sort of spin off of my actual life, with people i know, places i've been to, and situations that natraly occur. the only thing i ever notice about the difference from dreams and reality is that the weird things that do happen in my dreams are usualy just exressions of whats in the far back of my head. like if im worried about how my bosses are going to react to me getting a raise, or if im concerned about a certain friends relationship with him mom, or something. those situations tend to simply play out the way i think they should or how i want them to. the fact is that if i have a good dream or a nightmare its really caused by some inbalance in my thinking. sometimes i'll have dreams where i've got millions of dollars, and i dont know how, but then cops show up, and i realize that i've stolen the money. usualy in those dreams i end up getting shot in the back right as im about to make an epic escape.

in addition, i'd like to point out that it is very important to work on the basics when it comes to parkour. they are a little boring but you will greatly appreciate it later when the basics become natural reflexes. to be general and off the top of my head there are at least 4 basics. i'd say they are precisions, landings, judgement, and practice. precisions precision jumping is probably one of the most important movements of parkour. without this skill, you cant handle jumping from one point to another without stopping your momentum, an example of this is jumping from tree to tree, logs or walls. in parkour you can find yourself in some very high places, and with out precise jumping you could be in for a fatal mistake. of course the funny part of this is that making a precision landing isnt that hard its having the understanding of how far you can really jump and land with control. after all power is nothing without control. landings landing is by nature a result of almost all parkour movements. common landings are with both feet, rolling, and control with momentum to continue running. these are some of the most important things to practice. because without fail you will one day fall and you will need a breakfall, and done improperly can be more damaging than a plain fall. judgment its vital to safe practice to know your limits, without it you will make huge, painful mistakes. and through regular practice you will know and be able to expand on your abilities. practice as mentioned practice is paramount, its not enough to practiice once and think that you know how to do parkour. you should practice at least once a week, to suplemnt other forms of excersize, if thats not the case you should do parkour 2-3 times a week. being regular will expand your ability and build a level of comfort with extreme movements. also its very good to train with other people, most areas have someone who you can practice parkour with. if neccessary use the internet, like your doing now. check out parkour.com and youtube.com.

this is hard to deal with, but the real thing to know is that people deep down want to be happy, people can enjoy cutting their wrist, but they know its not what they want to be doing. so talk to this person, be open, honest and ready for a flood of emotion to come out of that person. the key here is to create an area of free open communication. the person should not have to feel that they need to lie or dress things up. they shouldnt have to fear some sort of punishment. just talk with them, they probably have tons of problems to let out, and tou have to make sense of it, if you decide to let yourself get angry with this person then they are just going to close back up and shut you out, and go back to cutting. however people, depending on their own way, like to be open and understood! exploit this fact and listen, listen, listen, listen and show that you care!one problem i see with all this is the task of getting the person to talk about it in the first place. this is tricky and requires you to actualy know the person, if you dont, do so. go out and spend time with the person and learn about them untill they open up to you. even if you cant stop them from cutting in one day you should be able to convay that you care and want to help. in any case this will take time, and should be approched calmly. and with an overload of understanding and willingness to learn.

okay, honest to god here, males are action orientated. i've had a lot of people ask me what the purpose of life is and since they were all guys i told them "the purpose of man is to do." i had actualy just made that up on the spot, but i was'nt really surprized when i read about the same advice coming from a guru in the east. it makes perfect sense when you think about it, when you are doing somthing you have a purpose. the only time you dont have a purpose is when you dont have something to do. you start asking yourself "why are we here, whats our purpose" at this point get up and do something and there you will have a purpose.this is one of the pivotal issues of guys today in relation to women. no not the purpose of life but rather the fact the guys need purpose. now the fact of the matter is that women think differently. not because we're extreamly different but because women are raised to think from a different perspective. unlike guys, women look at life from the prespectives of weaker bodies, attracive bodies, and emotion. we guys ought to count ourselves as lucky to have our concerns simple and clear cut. now if you've been in a relationship before you no doubt at some point ran into an issue, problem or something in which the women you are with says someting that makes no sense what so ever to you. its usualy starts with some problem she has, you in turn come up with a sollution for this. but the woman refuses it and you are baffeled. you may very well come up with the most perfect and complementing solution ever. but she doesnt want to hear it.at this point, take my advice and shut up! if possible get close to here and show some intrest in her day, her opinion, ect. listen and pick up as many details about the issue as you can. and dont try to point out mistakes or better ways to go about things. what she wants right then is to know that you are on her side. she wants you to agree that her boss is a jerk, that her best friend needs to break up with what ever loser so-and-so, she may also want some brownies (i dont know why, but it can happen) the whole reason she came to tell you about her problem isnt so she can get your guru like advice on her problems, she most likely has better people for that. one of the main point of have a relationship with a woman is that you need togetherness. once my best friends girlfriend called him up at 3 in the morning to ask him what seemed to her to be a vital question "Grant, are we a team?" lol.

honest to god, i have 8 different girlfriends and i only asked out one of them. the trick is confidence. if you cant at least apear to be confident then go read some other advice. but once you've got confidence you need to make sure you're going after the right kind of girl. one that like confidence and perhaps adventure. whats important here is to make sure you understand the girl you're going for. see if she like impulsive and unpredictable guys, or quite and strong guys or whatever.the reall trick i've found to getting with girls is apearing to be what they are into. now this works pretty well as long as you are observant. if you cant look listen and pick up details about a girl and what she's into then you need to learn that first. cause even if you did by some magicks get with the girl shes going to dump you really quick unless you can listen and learn about her well.the biggest thing i found about women is that they are people, just like guys. i've never played into the whole women only type thinking. as if there were things that only women think and feel. i swear to god that is not true. women just use that to have some sort of thinking and operating space. once you can understand how she feels on a topic its pretty easy to interact with a girl. heres some things to keep in mind.1) women have weak bodies - so unless you're a preticularly weak person, you may not be able to see the same solutions women do. i honestly think if we lived in a world that expected women to be forward and athletic like men are we would actualy find our sexes getting along much better. but instead women are taught to focus their efforts on being attractive, inteligent and MANIPULATIVE. since women cant usualy out muscle a man they will try to out think you. so keep on your toes, they'll try to trap you in a corner of logical reasoning in which their ideas are the best and only way to do things. the best way to keep out of this trap is to make it obvious where you stand on issues and how you live your life.2) women are very emotional - it doesnt even make sense. maybe if you punched yourself in the face like 20 time everyday maybe then you might comprehend, but most likely not (cause i dont even see what that would teach you.) actualy to put it better, women are quite a lot lik children. when you take candy from a baby do you know why they cry? its because you've ruined the childs world. the child thinks that their lives are over and that they will never be happy again. in extreamly spoiled children you cant even give the candy back, at that point they just want to sit and cry. women are very much the same way they like to sit and feel their emotions. like pigs rolling in mud. all you can do sometimes is wait it out. if you try to fix the problem you'll run into this weird thing about how they want you to sympathize with them and not fix their problem. for guys thats like, the dumbest thing ever. we are guys, we DO. we cant just do nothing, i mean the girl is crying, the thought that goes through your head is "what do i do?".

im too young for relationships, not because im immature but it feels like women just hold me back. it would be really nice if there could be a revival of the era of free love.... without the STDs. i think if everyone we're much more open we all could find many more sollutions to our problems

alright guys im back. and i need credits so once more you get to learn more about taoist spiritual development. today im going to be summarizeing some of the things i learned from the book scholar warrior, by deng ming dao. great book, its a very info pact books that gives great insight on how to go about your own spiritual development. Beginings: in order for anything to start it needs a start. and with taoism as well as spirituality in general. it is very important to have a good start, or base. and with scholar warrior taoism, which is a sect of taoism that started out not as taoism but as a highly elite class of warriors who sought to maximize their versitility. eventualy came the area of spirituality... and years later came a highly effective and well known form of taoism. however the base that these people used for their own spiritual development was still present. that base for the most part was physical activity. it made sense really, in order to develop yourself on a higher level you need the lower levels to be in order and stable. much like how it is always advised that a person do meditation in a quite place where they wont be disturbed. once this was achived, a person could start working on the 'three tresures' which is basicly their own balance of jing, qi, and shen. i've already talked about those in posts above. if anyone wants i can expand apon each of those. but as a basic summary qi/chi was the basic thing that made up the universe (much like prana, much like split atoms) chi however through the human body can b utilized and refined. once that base is stable you end up on the level of jing. which though commonly refered to as sperm can actualy relate to any of the chemicals present in the body and the balance they are in. if one had a bad jing they had an imbalance of chemicals in their body, which can result in bad tempers, depresion and even death. it was belived by ataining a perfect blance of jing shen and qi one could atain immortality. however ataining this required great amounts of concentration. as well as regular practice of meditation, excersize, diet, quigong and self control. to cultivate jing a comon technique was a very simple one. diet. through use of herbs and medicines people could change their natural body type to fit them better. amazingly one of the big ones was to drink water. secondly was sexual conservation. not celibacy but rather understanding that sex can be harmful to your body if overdone or done at times when your body is weak. over time several systems of excersize were developed to increase ones jing balance. the most famous was 'marrow washing classic" a large set of meditative movements, much like qi gong. additonaly many wepon styles were used in this same manner. things like scemitars, staffs, swords. theres over 108 different wepons used in the conventional chinese arsonal. each of which was said to give some unique health benefit. once a practioner was sufficient in martial arts they would move on to calisthenics. these were sets like the 'marow washing clasics' mentioned earlier. this was very much a bridge between the phisical and getting into meditation. im rather hesitant about getting into the whole meditation part mostaly because of how important it is to be healthy, fit, and ready for meditation. a wide array of physical activity after long periods begins to open the mind in a way that doesnt happen normaly to people who say... just sit at their computer all day. but once this gap was bridged, a practioner would begin to find many curious things happening to their body and mind. a higher level of perception and concentration, a messure of intrest in material possesions was lost, as well as concerns with problems that arise when a person has too big of an ego. for that person things were made a bit simpler. as one gets into meditation you will have a new vantage point on your life and eventualy you'll be gin to see things not imediatly liked to your survival start to seem less and less important. luckily its not permannent. lol. once all this is done, and the base is built, the practiotioner would start working on the cultivation of their mind. this was pretty serious business. because it was at this point that ones perspectives on life start to change dramaticly. it is suggested that one have some guidance in this area, and belive me, in most cases you will want if not need it. if for nothing else than a place to start. but for that i will give you a meditation here and now. you can do this all you want, and you will run liittle risk of running into anyform of danger. start off with abdominal breathing, the same breathing the teach in chior and to kids using inhalers. do that 20 times. get a warm feeling in you body and practice moving it around. what you're actualy doing is learning to move and control your blood circulation. practice moving it in loops down the from of your body and up the back. once again this may make you sleepy, but concentrate and keep going. once i find the apropriate place for it i'll put up more meditations for you all.

well, here i am again up late and needing hosting credits, so you get to learn more about the fundamentals of taoist spiritual development. ready? here we go!one thing i really didnt get into in the above post is taoist alchemy. its seriously one of the most intresting things about taoism. at least in my opinion. theres quite a few books on taoist alechemy, but the main reoccuring theme is centered around developing and refining the body, the spirit and the mind. chi, jing, and shen if you read the above post. now just about all of the taoist alchemy practices start with a grounding in chi. as i stated above chi is much like a form of energy that fills reality. and it manefests its self in many different ways. the easiest way to manefest chi within yourself is with breathing practice. or pranayama. for the sake of makeing an intresting post i'll out line a basic pranayama excersise.start by doing abdominal breathing. that is to say breathe not by useing your upper diaphram but the lower one, if you dont know what im talking about just simply relax, to the point where you dont hold in your stomach, then as you inhale breath deep into your belly and expand it. as you exhale simply pull back in your gut. make sure to keep you back straight with good sitting posture, or by laying comfortably on your back flat on a bed.once you've got the technique down, do about 20 abdominal breaths or stop when your belly begins to warm up.then forget all the pressures of your life and let you mind, your point of awareness sink down into the warmth. you should feel a very deep level of relaxation. try doing this as a way to fall asleep. now if you want something even more intresting. try this, follow the details above up to the falling asleep part. BUT DO NOT FALL ASLEEP. this may take over 15 mins to do, maybe even 30 but sit and try to focus at that point of warmth, focus everything you are there. use whatever works for you, vizualizations, mantras, mudras whatever. but as you lay in bed try to bring yourself to the point where you feel like you are inside of your own belly. make it your home, find a deep level of comfort there. SERIOUS SUGGESTION: dont open your eyes at this point! i did this once and i opened my eyes, i remember looking at something i couldnt understand, which actualy just turned out to be the ceiling, but! seriously if you scare easily dont open your eyes suddenly, its a pretty big shock. rool your eyes in your head several times and move various parts of your body. until you feel normal.in taoist alchemy excersizes like this are a used as a tool to manipulate the endocrine system. for health, longevity and boosts in physical performance.more on this later

so as a disclaimer, i am not any form of official taoist, i have not been initiated into any tradions, i dont follow any specific tradition, but i do focus my studies of taoism in the area of herbology, excersize, and i try to understand the i ching. if i had to say i was anything i'd say i am a person who studies "holistic tao sciences". barely even a taoist really... so with that aside, and the reader takeing this info with a grain of salt i'd like to start talking a bit on Spiritual Development in relation to taoism. okay ready? lets go! taosim is probably one of the best places to start in spiritual development for someone who knows nothing about it, and for just that kind of person im going to give this overview of sorts. taoism (fr the most part) unlike many religions doesnt claim very much. they dont claim very much about the history especialy, in religions like buddhism, christanity, ect. theres often the figure of a saviour or messaiah. with taoism the first thing you need to realize is that that position is held by YOU. you are the only person who can advance and develop who you are. scince things like the powers of buddha, jesus, heaven and angels still remain to be proven, it often times seems very foolish to hold on to a faith that advocates that you must do the will of an invisble god, or stand in fear of a cosmic force giving you a rebound of evil for actions or mistakes you may have made. so while it is difficult it does help for a person taking on the path of a taoist to relinquish their thoughts on divinity, hell and even a being like god, while this may not be neccessary it does provide a certain peace of mind, a sort of empty slate to work with in your own spiritual development. taoism for the most part works on three different levels. these levels are Qi, Jing, and Shen. Qi is much like a current of energy or momentum. if you want evidence of qi look to the workings and interplay of sickness and helth. you'll notice that when your qi is good and balanced you are happy, energetic, and full of strength, and whn you are ill you become weak, cold (or hot, depending on the imbalance of qi) and generaly unhappy. Jing, is mainly represented by the workings of not only a healthy working body, but also the actions of the endocerine system, the network of glands throught the body that aid in many (unnoticed and unappreciated) functions of the body. The Endocrine system is an information signal system much like the nervous system. However, the nervous system uses nerves to conduct information, whereas the endocrine system mainly uses blood vessels as information channels. Glands located in many regions of the body release into the bloodstream specific chemical messengers called hormones. Hormones regulate the many and varied functions of an organism, e.g. mood, growth and development, tissue function, and metabolism, as well as sending messages and acting on them. these glands include the in the brain - hypothalamus, penial, pituitary - in the throat - thyroid. in the chest - thymus. and above the kidneys are the adrenal glands. *note* - not all the glands in the endocerine system are listed here, for a compleate list check the wikipedia link i have posted below https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine_system Shen, while meaning spirit and mental energy, is very much related to the effects and nature of a optimaly functioning human body. the area of shen also includes things like proper thinking and in some cases things lk philosophy. espcialy when the taoist is looking to remove mental barriers that limit their efficiantcy and proformance such as fear of death, hell or any social pressures that one finds present in our or their society. in the start of spiritual development it is very important that the stressfull stimuli of reality be effectivly eliminated. if you are weak it is best to gain physical strength and confidence. if you are fearfull it is important to overcome your fears, if you live in a place that if dificult to survive in it is neccessary to build a safe way to interact with your enviornment. in essence this mundane world is the base that you must build apon to do any sort of development and without a steady base, without a deep level of comfort in you situation. without it it is very difficult to gain anysort of wisdom or insight. once that base, that confidence and comfort in the face of this everchanging world has been built one can start to examine and scutinize the way they live, how they interact with people and everyother aspect of their lives. it takes very cautious and honest self perception to accomplish this. for most the best route is to find a master, or someone who can at least act as some form of teacher or even a friend who you can see as a temporary mentor on this matter. because from the inside it is very easy to overlook ones faults and shortcomings. but from the outside, with the help of a trusted perosn it while not the easiest thing you've ever done can at least be a lot simpler. and so for a time, one should devote themselves to ataining a level of holistic living. theres plenty of info on how to get started on this, you'll find martial arts, teas, meditation even fung shui to be among the most common types of tao related information available. but with a bit of searching you can find very exact teachings in many different forms. one source that i found incredibly helpfull was the book "Scholar Warrior" by deng ming-dao. who was a student of a taoist master (who i belive is still aliv today) by the name of Kwan Sai Hung. the book provides information on excersize, meditation, elixer formulas and philosophy as well as providing a very diverse range of other books that cover many other areas and types of taoism. Another book i found very enlightening was the Hua Hu Ching. you'll always hear people talking about the tao te ching. but the hua hu ching is almost completely unknown by many (even though you can buy it at almost any borders or barns and noble bookstore) unlike the tao te ching the hua hu ching is very direct in its teaching. it provides many key concepts and reference points in very plain terms. *note* i just remmebered this book is available on the internet at: http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/ (just copy and paste that) in additon there are also two more books that while seemingly childish in nature are very fine points of information and aid in ones spiritual development. oddly enough they focus around the 'whinney the pooh' children storys. the books are called "The Tao of Pooh" and "The Te of Piglet" the two books are incredible. with the aid of taoisms simplistic nature the book provides very clear insight on the workings of our society as reflected by the interactions of the characters featured in the story.

oh! i finaly found a place to share my theory on this issue!! okay okay here it goes, it's kind of out of left field so jut be open minded and ready! back when i was young i was a very devout jehovahs witness. and with no pun intended, i devoted lots of time to studying. so one day, using one of their huge 'reference bibles' i notice something in a footnote about a greek word used in the term 'holy spirit'. the word was 'spiritos' which ment 'breath'. i though it was just wierd at first, but then i made a connection with something from a book i had read called 'shaolin white crane' the book had a huge section discussing 'Qi' - the chinese word for 'a mysterious energy that makes up the universe and eveything in it' which included us as human beings. the intresting part was the fact that this book advocated that through various excersises done consistantly for years one could build up a mastery of 'Qi'. honestly my paraphrasing of this is very.... i dont know mystical sounding? but the book put it in very scientific terms. additionaly they were only really looking at what was provable by science... wierd i thought because i had always been taught in church that kung fu and many things in chinese culture were forms of devil worshiping. it was this sort of one sided-ness that led me to leave the religion and try to see the world with my own eyes. off topic, lol, lets see if i can tie all this back into my theory. the funny thing about qi/chi/ki (in japanese) was that it also had a simular meaning as holy spirit. it didnt have a notion of holiness or divinity. but it did mean a form of energy that was manipulatable by a form of consiousness be it us as humans or god. then it hit me with all the talk about big bangs, and evolution. it really didnt seem to odd to think that a entity with limitless 'energy' or 'spirit' could do something like an atom bomb in reverse. i looked at an atom bomb and really thought about that... all that destruction from one peice of matter? thats my theory on creation, and its not even all of creation, but simply put it seems tottaly posible that just like daimonds raw energy could be condensed into matter and thus be used to create our physical world. im not saying god exists... im just saying its possible, just like anything else. now take a look at this. and have your mind blown! http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/ quantum physics is starting to show that thoughts, on a quantum level can effect matter. even random number generators see below!! http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/

water water water! its soooo important and its a great aid in weight loss, complimented with excersise and you're well on your way to getting a body you really want. one of the biggest aids for me is think about what water does for my body. keeping this in mind keeps my will strong when i think about reaching for a soda, which if you stop drinking soda, you'll tend to drop a good 5-10 lbs. as im sure it was mentioned earlier, drinking at least 8 cups of water a day is optimum, but if you're out doing excersise you'll definatly need more when talking to people who do various levels of excersise i find the more active you are the more water you'll need. parkour-ist or tracuers that i talk to say that on averag they drink about 12 cups of water a day. and at the extreme some profesional bodybuilders i've talked to say that they consume 3 gallons of water perday. it seems crazy but drinking water really helps in a lot of ways. If you study the physiology and anatomy of the human body, you'll find that water is responsible for almost all the vital processes occurring in the human body whether it's the digestive system, circulatory system or some other. Notice from rvalkass: You need QUOTE tags around anything you copy. Source: http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/

yeah, i'd agree here. the girls got a plan. but do you? honestly what if she meets 'ron' tommarow and decides she wants you out the house. now i forgot if any of the kids are yours, but if their not... forgive me for being a *BLEEP* here but i think its neccessary... if their not your kids, what the *BLEEP* are you doing? their kids their young they'll adapt. now i dont think you evr said how old she is, but if shes going out and partying a bunch that means one thing. shes still got a bit of kid in her so i'll give you 2 parts of advice. part one: if you want to save this relationship some how. this is hard... mostaly cause i havent had to deal with this one directly in my life personaly, yet. and from the high amount of guys i hear about going through issues with girls. i just plain expect to go through this at somepoint. and if i wanted to save the relationship this is what i would do. first, i'd say, *BLEEP* all this i dont have the same feeling for you *BLEEP* cause thats complete bs. if you had a million dollars she'd feel a great amount for you. but you you dont so you're going to have to work harder. first thing i'd try is takeing her out on a date, my hunch is the fire in your relationship need a bit of work from the bellows. what i mean by this is you spen som time time far apart and you spend some time very close together. in the space in between, much like a bellows her mind will start to change a bit, the goal here is to get her thinking that you can be fun and enjoyable. bu beware she may hav already firmly decided that you just arnt the one. cause honestly it sounds like you're below the sad sounding 'just a friend' status. you at that 'baby's daddy status' where she doesnt care what hapens as long as bills and children are being taken care of. no if i were you i'd make a base check. a base check is making an observation of all the basics in the relationship. from the smallest thing to the biggest. things like, do i smell bad, hows my breath, do i speak to her in a carring way, does it really show that i care, is my penis big enough, am i gay, does she know 100% that im not gay? all that sort of obvious *BLEEP*. and if you have any questions ask her. get clarification. make it seem like you're going for another woman if need be. but all in all you need to make sure that she has no reason to discard you at face value. once thats out of the way i would try to do the whole dating thing al over again. take her to the movies, out to the theater/balllet, out to eat, or out for fun. cause all in all shes going out because shes getting something out there that you're not giving her. if you can get her to notice that thing in you then you've taken a huge step forward. if nothing else realize this, that her previous experience with you is litteraly like baggage. you have to give her a reason to put that baggage down and never reach back for it. now im putting this part here because if it were me i would have been long gone a long time ago. part 2: if you dont want to save this relationship you should seriously just go. just leave. if thats not a good plan for you then make one. its called an guys escape plan. its for when *BLEEP* goes sour you need to be able to survive without that woman. but dont do this *BLEEP* if you 'love' that girl, cause then you'll just be a *BLEEP* who cant get over a girl. so get all your money and belongings together and bounce. get you're own place, say *BLEEP* the kids if their not yours and dont get a hard on everytime she calls you up crying about some dumb *BLEEP*. you said you're what 24? yeah *BLEEP* that *BLEEP* dude. you got too much time for better *BLEEP* to just be waisting your time on some *BLEEP* thats probably cheating on you right now. some guys *BLEEP* is probably --- wait... i have a hosted website to think about here... dont want to get banned. but you know what i mean dude. you got a decision to make. dont sit and think, just do it.

you know reading the op, i would say that you really do need to just forget about women, you have far to bright of a future ahead of you... what you got to do is prioritize. if the girl is that important go full force into it, if you can live with out it, then continue with your schooling. now, guessing the girl is that important then you need to do this, go talk to her-once, only once. other wise you'll seem wierd and annoying. while talking to her you need to listen, ask questions, and do more listening. if your head is spinning from this whole ordeal then most likely theres some complication in her heart also, she may be very confused, maybe even in deep emotional pain. all the while you should be prepared for and able to accept the worst. she may have been deeply scared by what happend in the past, it may have compleatly changed her paragdims on life and the way she views relationships, and with this shift a foundation for something very different from what expect may have formed. and atop that may have been experiences you have no clue about. in short it may have been much harder than you know. at worst she may hate your guts.but the best you can do is take a chance. do be a wuss, and just go talk to her. now i dont know how old you are but, what i see happening is something like this. you see her, perhaps at lunch, and you think "this is my chance, i must do it now!" so you go for it, and you know what you forgot. her friends... perhaps the same friends that she had back then that made fun of you back in the day. they'll stop you with something, it may just be silence. just their presence could change the way they interact with you. you could try aranging a meeting with her, maybe buy her coffee or something she likes to have regularly.if you're observant you could try to just watch her for a day and try to find the best time to try talking to her, just dont be creepy.so talk to her, dont bring up the past too much. unless she does, and im guessing by this point she probably doesnt care. in essence you're dealing with a whole new person, one who is carrying the baggage of her childhood. in essence you need to find a way to let her put those bags down and relax. if you can pull that off you've paracticaly completed your mission. ... but once you reach this point all my advice goes out the window and its all up to you. good luck.

you know, if you guys were smart, unlike i was when i was young, you'd take full *BLEEP*ing advantag of you damn folks, no many may not have the heart to act like this or even think like this. but heres how i look at it.when i was young i didnt know wtf i wanted to do, i was forced to go to school, to eat weird food, go to church, and go to sleep and do all sorts of gay *BLEEP*. but now i live on my own with 3 college students, although im not in school myself. now i have to pay bill, speeding tickets, buy food, go to work every damn day, and if i wanted to go to school i have to pay aroun 300 bucks a class, and thats just at a *BLEEP* community college.if you're young and still hve time under the wings of your folks you need to take full advantage of this period. first assess the situation and see what your parent are willing to do for you. if you really hate school and its drama, go get a damn ged. but dont move out, get in good with your parents and start thinking about ways to get them to pay for college. college is a lot better that high school, and theres ways for you to get a highschool diploma in college, while attending college classes. its calld running start, and if your grades suck -- see if theres a 'fresh start' program. what they do is arange a way for you to get what you want in college for free. in most places the limit is an associates degree, which if you get before your 21 is usualy enough for you to get just about any low level job you want. such as security guard (which at the right sites can be the easiest job ever, at least if you work at night, i suggest going for a mobile patrol position. you need a drivers license, but all you do is drive around all night, and it usually pays 9.00+ per hr. which is enough for you to pay rent and even buy video games and *BLEEP*).my real suggestion is to stand up, not against your parents, but WITH them, and let/make them support you as you improve and advance your live... once you got every thing stable (aka, car-cell phone-job-bank account-money saved) then move the *BLEEP* out. your parents might be all mopey, but you can cheer them up by making them a part of your life (aka bring over your laundry and eating all their food when you come over)one of my biggest suggestions is to stop worrying about other people. dont worry about chicks and getting girls, *BLEEP* that! get girls after you've got your own pad to bring them to! girls lik to see a guys got his *BLEEP* together! its also very important to look at what kind of girl you're going for. the best would be a depressed rich chick. just impress her *BLEEP*in dad (or family) and *BLEEP*er her reallly well... you'll be all she wants. you know what you do then? get money out of her family in the way of business, come up with a bad *bottom* business plan and then show that *BLEEP* to her *BLEEP*in dad and get his dough...okay okay im ranting here, listen though the trick to all this life *BLEEP* is to just pick a direction and go! when people see you've got direction they tend to do one of 3 things they either help, follow or get the *BLEEP* out the way. come up with some *BLEEP*, research that *BLEEP* and then do it. do sit around doin gay high school drama and sitting around in your room being mad at your ma and pa

verdant means in the rawest sense 'green'. but on the whole its more than that, it means what the color green inplies, things like freshnes, health, growth, strength, as well as purity, simplicity and innocence. it came to me while i was playing final fantasy 12, the way to get to the town that the character fran is from is to take the 'path of verdant praise', that area of the game actualy took me back to when i was young and anti social, and i hung out in the woods, making forts, traps and practicing karate. i was a damn weird kid. but as i look back over my youth now im reminded of the word 'verdant' because it was a such a good summary of that time. my surroundings were green, my mind was far more pure, my life was simpler and my lust for life and adventure was much stronger.sometimes i post other places as 'verdant hero' or 'verdant wish'.i like the word... thats all really.