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tinkerjack

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About tinkerjack

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  • Birthday 12/28/1963

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  1. YIPEEEE!my doctor said i can use nsaids!that means i can taper off the rest of the narcotics. currently i am taking either 10 or 20 mg oxycontin daily. they were so surprised when i asked if i could stop. they said its usually the other way around.but i am so tired of the mood swings and the withdrawal symptoms.i tried taking some naproxen yesterday but it didn't seem to have much effect. i am looking for a decrease in inflamation, because i don't have much bone pain that i can tell. i'll know for sure when i am completely off the oxycontin.the first step will be to stick to the 10 mg a day routine and then alternate it with the nsaid.the bad news is the doc said i can't take the nsaids more than twice a day. if i need to, then she wants me to go back to the oxycontin. apparently its easier on my kidneys than the nsaids, and when i first got sick i was down to 60% kidney functioning.i am not at the point where i can exercise - too much pain still. but i am working on getting stronger, which i think will reduce the pain.wish me luck! i'll keep you posted.btw, i see 40 views and no replies. feel free to PM me if you have a question you don't want to ask here.
  2. note to self:when you set up your site, test it in all the popular browsers...i have a couple of sites (1 CMS and 3 forums, actually) running and never thought of it! i have some users still on dial-up (i told them to get firefox), and i even have one who swears by opera.i agree with the fellow who said speed isn't the only thing - i still use firefox.but i may take another look at opera for the quick and dirty stuff.
  3. i use firefox from the days when i had dial-up.i rarely use IE; only when i'm forced by some archaic and malevolent sadistic programmer...i tried opera but had too many problems with it and a couple of times it crashed - i am using an acer 5100 with dual processors. it just shouldn't happen.i like some of the opera features, but not enough to put up with the problems. i've had a few problems with firefox, but usually its because of the theme i was using and if i go back to the standard theme it works just fine.i don't have anything good to say about IE. i avoid it.
  4. i like the way you set up your site too.i like your idea, but the characters seem too similar. i'm looking for them to have some unique identifying characteristic.i am a rabid comic reader and picky anime consumer.i have a friend who is an artist and both she and i are writers.lol, those are my credentials, unless you count the phd in psychology...
  5. i've gone back to work.its the best attention of all.they say that when you have something incurable and dangerous, that you live in the valley of the shadow of death.but i keep forgetting that.i keep thinking that today is just like any other day.when i was younger (last year) i thought and i said i wanted to die with my boots on.lucky thing i have a couple pairs of cowboy boots.i'm going to start wearing them.and when they wear out, i'm going shopping.hee hee hee.
  6. I first learned to meditate using a book on tape. At the time, I also was training to run a marathon. Later I joined a group of zen buddhists who were more impressed with my marathon training than with my self taught meditation.They were impressed with the discipline.This is the thread I see running through this thread. Everyone finds their own discipline - be it martial arts or regular attendance on a forum.I like to think that particular kinds of meditation are suited for particular kinds of people.In my work as a therapist, I saw people who had been traumatized. They couldn't do relaxation meditation because it brought them back to the point at which they were abused. Instead, I recommended to them focusing meditation, which can be done with eyes open, and which trains the mind to stay in a specific course. It worked for many of the clients to whom I recommended it.I went to a conference and bought a computer run meditation program. It combined biofeedback with meditation. I enjoyed it a great deal, but it was too much technology for me and I couldn't really incorporate it into a regular practice. But it was a lot of fun...My current meditation practice is best described as undisciplined. I have a lot on my plate at the moment. But I hope and expect to redevelop a regular practice.
  7. You could (and once upon a time I did) say just don't get on them, but maybe you didn't break your sternum while you were trying to heal from four broken vertebrae. I was in the hospital a very long time, and while I was there they gave me Dilaudid, which is stronger than morphine, which is stronger than any heroin you'd find on the street.I was very worried because in my job I meet people who got addicted to these medicines and ended up buying them on the street, losing their jobs, etc. People I worked with lost their jobs because of it.Until this year, I had used narcotic medication once - when I had a tooth removed by surgery. I didn't fill the prescription, but woke up in pain after a nap. I took the medication (coedine), which made me sleep for two days, and swore I'd never do it again.But now I had a doctor giving me this medication and I couldn't take NSAIDs (like Naproxen or Ibuprofen), because those almost killed me. And without the medications, I could not walk.My solution was to play with the medications and see how little I could get away with taking.It was very important to get off the Dilaudid, even if it meant more pain and even if it meant taking another kind of narcotic. The withdrawal symptoms from the Dilaudid are AWFUL!One of the medications given to me was Percoset. Another one with awful withdrawal symptoms, even after taking only one or two pills.I am still taking the medications, but have got down to 20 mg of Oxycontin a day. I had been taking 60 mg three times a day with Dilaudid for breakthrough pain. Breaking my sternum was no picnic.On work days I try to get away with taking 10 mg or nothing.Excercise is the thing that helps best with withdrawal symptoms.I went back to 20 mg a day because I can't walk without it. 20 mg and a cane and I can work.YOUR RESULTS MAY VARY:I believe that the endorphins I get from exercise are the key to getting off the rest of the Oxycontin. That and my strong belief that I should be able to manage the pain without medication.I have talked to others and if they are not exaggerating, etc., sometimes it takes more medication for what may seem like less pain.Also, some people can tolerate some kinds of medications, while others cannot. I had the luxury of being able to choose something that is purported to be less addictive (time release medication).My withdrawal symptoms are not intense: I get irritable, and feel discomfort - like the inside of my body doesn't fit and itches at the same time. Still not as bad as Percoset, where I had the runs and stomach problems in addition to really intense discomfort. And the Dilaudid was twenty times worse than the Percoset.ASK MEI don't wonder why no one talks about narcotic addiction here. There is a lot of shame attached to it. Makes you wonder why the doctor doesn't warn you. No one warned me; in fact they gave me a prescription for 90 Percoset to use as needed. Yipes! Somewhere in my mother's house (she was taking care of me) there is a partly full bottle of morphine, and another of percoset. Feel free to ask me questions.I will keep you posted of my progress.
  8. my first bit of advice would be that if you are not trying to sound a particular way, don't say it. that always tips people off that there is a grain of truth, that is, that you know you actually are sounding that way.advice? disclaimer: the following is not advice: "buy a good life insurance policy. get a job with health insurance. join the rat race." i don't give advice. advice makes for lawsuits. if i were you, i would go out and play. that's one reason i don't have regrets. i would also save up enough money to buy a house. i probably wouldn't buy one, but its nice to have choices. hm. if i did give advice, i might advise someone who wanted advice to have lots of choices. oo, make lots of friends, too. good friends, who will listen when you have to tell them you are dying and you don't want sympathy, but you do want to cry because you're scared. even one friend who can listen to the bad stuff is worth about a bazillion dollars. and again, yes, its about attention. i like attention. irl attention is great. attention here is good too, but you really want to find that one good friend...
  9. Here is the Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everway and the original fansite: http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/ It is a game that lets the story you tell determine what happens. Its hard if you are used to dice (every once in a while I try to get us to use them), but it's compelling to try to make things happen based on the story. Its easier, I think, if you are a writer or someone who likes stories. My friend is a 3-D graphic artist, another is a jungian, another is a 17 year old gamer, and I am an errant psychologist. my friends and i are using this game to write a book that travels between the game, the dreaming and IRL. we are having fun as well as learning about ourselves and the world. there are four of us in the current campaign, and like the game Cantr II except we don't have the rule that characters can't know each other. I am wondering if there are any Everway players here. One of the things we haven't done is discuss our method of play on the everway forums, and I still hesistate because we have made so many adjustments to the rules. It's allowed, but I still feel better talking about it in a smaller space first.
  10. dont worry. its the same all over and in fact, its better.if people really believed i was dying there would be a lot of syrupy stuff and people asking over and over how i am feeling.i hate that.i have an incurable disease and i almost died of anemia in march. i went to the hospital on february 28 and was discharged on march 7.one of the things that annoyed me most is that since they anticipated my being hugely upset, they gave me a sedative without asking.i really don't have any regrets. i'm almost 50, which feels like a long time to me.i lied about no regrets, though. i am kind of a packrat and havent had time to get rid of stuff. my family will have to do it if i die within the next few months and that's sad. i want them to save all the antiques and such but they wont be able to distinguish it from the junk.other than that, i do intend to enjoy myself. if i get really sick again i will think and worry about death (that's what i did before) but right now i am glad to be able to have some fun.i am not sure how i would mentally prepare myself. i guess it depends on what you think will happen when you die, and i have odd beliefs about that.and just so you know, i have not taken my own advice but i do intend to write somewhere the advice that helps me. dunno if anyone else in similar position will read it, but at least it will be somewhere.oh - and, lol, it IS about attention. dying is a lonely thing. if it irks you, then you can skip this thread. its likely to contain a lot of philosophizing and such, anyway.
  11. this year i was diagnosed with an incurable disease. i had it for well over a year. i finally went to the hospital where they told me if I had waited a couple more days I would have died.Like AIDS, the disease I have is not the thing that kills you. For me it could be a head cold, or a blood clot in my leg. Its the secondary things that get you.so i don't know if i will die in a week or tomorrow.i could say it sucks but I have lived enough that i have no regrets. i am getting ready to go back to work. i am going to do things differently, but i am not going to do anything special.i was having fun already.i don't have advice for the living. my head just isn't there anymore.as for the dying: write for yourself the advice that helps you do what you want to do.
  12. I agree that contagious and other sources should be investigated in relation to understanding cancer, but at the same time I am aware that resources are limited and know that humans are a crisis oriented species. We would rather spend the money trying to save the lives of folks diagnosed with cancer - that is more compelling than prevention. I am ambivalent. People who don't have cancer won't care as much as people who do (and their families and significant others). I try to keep healthy to prevent my developing a life threatening disease, but if I had one I would immediately put my efforts toward curing myself. And I would spend a lot more money on the latter, while I might slack off on my vitamins or exercise if I wasn't actually ill. At this point we know there are many kinds of cancer - some I believe will be discovered to be related to external sources such as exposure to toxins and bacteria. But even that knowledge won't help people to become compelled to fund prevention efforts.Ok, clearly I am a pessimist today. But good paper and food for thought. Thanks for posting.
  13. I too think its a good idea, but also agree that the companies that run these things would never allow it. You can choose a package that includes what you want, but likely it will also include something the company wants to promote - like a sale on merchandise that includes what you want but also what the seller wants to get rid of.I think the best idea would be to sell choose your own channel packages that include a standard set of items but have special interests in mind - like a family friendly package that included children's channels like nickelodeon, disney and boomerang. The package I have doesn't include boomerang and a couple of other disney and nick sites. Why not sell it all together? I want to see the cartoon package that includes all the channels that show at least 25% cartoon programming. Sigh. I can dream, can't I?
  14. I am stressed by relationships but not for these reasons. This person is controlling you. If you have to think about what you are doing all the time, then you are not being yourself. Think about what it will be like to not be yourself for the rest of your life. To me it is not worth it.On the other hand, it could be insecurity and if it were me I would ask if there was anything I could do to make her more comfortable. It could be she has baggage from a previous relationship (still not fair to you) or that she thinks you are the greatest thing since sliced bread and she's afraid everyone else will think so too. At any rate, if she is not willing to discuss it, that would be the end for me. Not worth it if she's not willing to change.
  15. I wear eyeglasses because with them, I only look 10 years younger than I am. Without them I look 20 years younger.I have a hard time when anything gets in my eye so I have never tried contacts. LOL, no one would recognize me since I am never without my glasses.I know someone who has laser surgery and a couple of years later she had to get eyeglasses. She doesn't wear them all the time, but she does need them and she said they warned her that might happen. She was nearsighted and the glasses are for nearsightedness.On the other hand, given the $400 + I have to pay for eyeglasses every year, it might be worth it just to spend less.
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