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Seriously Confused About My Sexuality! :/

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iGuest

Hey, lately I've been questioning myself if I'm bi.?(I apologize the way I am writing...how it's a bit confusing the way it's "organized.")I'm only twelve so it could be I'm just curious......I've starting having feelings for girls since fifth grade (Note: I'm now entering seventh grade) But I've always liked guys.?I've had several crushes on girls and I'm not sure if it's a crush or if it's just feeling close.The crushes I've had on girls weren't on my best friend, they're on my friends (that are girls) that I don't know very well.?I find them either beautiful, cute, or hot.When it comes to crushes on guys it's a little different... I just go by personality or "punk/emo/goth/skater" look. (I'm attracted to the guys with longer hair. And the guy I used to have a crush on...people would say he looks like a girl...I didn't care...) ? ??...I find myself checking out girls (a**es or just their whole body) even if I don't mean to. I find it easy to call a girl hot but unable to call a guy hot (I've never called a guy hot ... only girls).?And lately I've wanted to be in a relationship with a girl. I find girls so much easier to relate to (well because I am one). And I'm tired of how everything ends up with a guy (where I don't really like them...but they like me a lot and I end up "breaking their hearts.") Lately each relationship I have with a guy gets shorter and shorter and I wonder if it means I shouldn't be in a relationship with a guy or if it's just, I'm too young.?...The first few times I kissed a girl it was a dare or spin the bottle. But then my friend (girl) told me she was bi. I already liked her and really wanted to kiss her. And eventually we did.?The first time we did it was so awkward. I've never kissed anyone before (not a "real" one). And then I started getting into it. It lasted for like two minutes. After I wanted to kiss her even longer and she did too. So then we kissed again. We started lying down (I'm on twelve so it's not rowdy). We started making out. I touched her *bottom* and we kissed for eight minutes. Each time we stopped I wanted to kiss her even more...(Note: In the paragraph above, we are not in a relationship)Another one of my friends told me about one of her friends (girl) having a girlfriend. I started feeling jealous Not because of their relationship, but because she has a girl....After that day?I've wanted a girl more. The number of crushes I've had on girls has increased and the number of guys I like has decreased. It's gotten harder for me to like guys and easier for me to have a crush on a girl. I still like guys, just not as much as I like girls...So what does this mean??Does it mean I'm confused, bi, curious, or is it just a "phase?"(Again I apologize for the way this is phrased. I'm sorry if it confuses you at all...)?But thank you for reading this and responding to it (when you read it and respond) I really appreciate it(:


Baniboy

I don't think you should be asking yourself these questions at the age of 12. It doesn't really matter. You don't need to decide who you are and you can just do what you want, to some extent. There's nothing wrong with being bi, just take it easy and one day you'll find out what you like, no need to stress over it. To me it seems that you're trying to artificially create an identity for yourself. You shouldn't do that, time will reveal who you are if you follow the path that you like.


mrdee

This is one of the most confusing things that happens to people at a certain age (during puberty): not knowing what exactly their sexual orientation is.It is quite a common (and normal) thing to happen, after all, during puberty, your hormones go all over the place and quite a few things get mixed up inside your body and mind.It is of course simple to say not to worry about it, because most people do, but in the end, people usually find what they really are.As I mentioned before, the hormones doing their job at this stage of life, and, with people also being at an age where they are sometimes unsure about the ins and outs of sex can lead to a desire to explore sex and relationships from all angles.The best thing is to let nature take its course, eventually you will know what you are.I have often known about people who felt attracted to people of their own gender during that stage of life and later had a 100% heterosexual life.I have also noticed that a majority (not all)of the people who felt they were attracted to both sexes, usually went on to be lie the people I mentioned above, quite often (although not a "rule" as such), people who turn out to be gay seem to feel more for people of their own gender than the opposite sex, even during puberty.Also, being bisexual can also come out later in life, some people who have had a gay or heterosexual relationship (or a number of any of those) for many years can all of a sudden, at any stage of life be srruck by the desire for relationships with the opposite gender too.As you can see, it is a very complicated matter, and no two people are the same.Also, as Baniboy mentioned, be careful, you are only twelve years old, make sure nobody takes advantage of you when they know about how you feel (and the things that can lead to physically and psychologically).So, don't worry too much, growing up will lift much of the shroud.However, if it does not, then there might be a problem, as an example I will mention the English actor Kenneth Williams (although he was a very mixed-up character in general) who never really found what went on inside him, who was gay, but didn't want to be, he really couldn't handle it, which made him take a fatal overdose in 1988.However, I must say this is a rare and extreme case of a mixed-up sexual identity.Like I said, don't worry, and let time sort things out.


anwiii

this is just really odd that you are questioning your sexuality at such a young age. you had your first bi experience at the age of 10....which would be what....5th grade?i am sorry, but i have to take a parent stand point as if you were my own kid. and i would advise you too cool it as far as dating went right now. you're sexuality isn't the most important thing to consider right now.i'm 43 and i've known many people who are gay and bi. out of all my years though, i have never met one that was questioning it so young. i do believe people are born with preferences and certain natural attractions but you weren't even at puberty yet when you enjoyed your first bi experience. are you even there yet?something is just odd to me here. i don't think there is anything wrong with you, i just need to have more information to even give any advice here except stay away from dating right now. something is just strangly off about this situation.if you feel comfortable, i would talk to a school counselor about this if the school year isn't already over.what information i have also gathered is that women are more open to their sexuality than guys. it doesn't mean they are gay or bi, it just means they are more open and a lot of times find it easier to get from a woman(or in your case a child still) than a guy where guys are more demanding in other areas less affectionate and even less considerate.so listen, your 12, there is something i can't put my finger on here but regardless, i feel you shouldn't be dating or seeking whatever you are seeking from the same sex or opposite sex. i don't want to sound like an old fart, but i don't want to see you get hurt or more confused than you already are when there are more important things to be concentrating on for yourself right nowwhere are your parents in all this? can you not talk to your mom? if there is more you aren't telling us, i hope you would because it's the only way we can give good advice here.


iAssistant

You know, it is pretty normal to get confuse when you are at that age. When I was young, I am boyish and they taught that I am bi but I believe I am not, though I sometimes got a crush on girls but maybe it is an admiration for I also have a crush on boys. I just believe that I am a woman and I am really a woman. Do not pressure yourself on thinking about your gender and do not test yourself by kissing girls or boys. Just live your life accordingly and you will soon find the answer.


sheepdog

OMG!!! What is this younger generation coming to??? At your age you shouldn't even know what being Bi is let alone wonder if you are!Back up a little, be a kid, have fun, and don't worry about this kind of stuff.