I had a best friend, let?s call her Nikki. Nikki was my best friend back in high school. She still is a good friend, but now that she?s in California (or Texas, I?m not so sure), we barely have contact and we rarely get to chat online because of the different time zones. During high school, I felt that she was my only real friend because the other girls I hung out with were insincere. When she left, I stuck to hanging out with guy friends since they were easier to be with.First off, Nikki was supposed to be our batch?s valedictorian, if she hadn?t left for America that is. She was like a ?super student?? wait, no, she was THE ?super student?, having high grades in every subject without even trying ? and without even cheating, like a few other students on the honor roll that I know of; she was a genius and everybody liked her. Well, no one could hate her really, because she was good and humble towards everyone and she was like the tough baby of the batch (being the youngest, because she skipped a few grades). She was truly a spectacular gal.She was just another brain to compete with in the first few months of school, but by the second quarter, we became friends ? not best friends yet, but friends nonetheless. I was ?best friends? with this Japanese girl who?ve I?ve known since the fifth grade and Nikki was just another friend I could hang out with during break time. But then, I got to know her more as the weeks passed and soon ? we were virtually inseparable. We both like anime, computer games, reading, cooking and a lot of other stuff. We basically had the same hobbies and a lot more in common. When we found out that we lived so near to each other, it was a great revelation and we would visit each other and sleep over at each other?s house almost every weekend.She was practically the best friend I was looking for ? I mean, look at it from where I stood; my Japanese ?best friend? was an egotistical diva wannabe, who had no respect for others and only talked about herself. I was nothing but a ?sidekick? to her and it was all about her, her and her for the past four years. During our recess time, she talked about her morning, during our lunch break, she talked about her afternoon and before we go home, she talked of her plans that afternoon; it was all a monotonous and dreadful cycle where the day revolved around her and she didn?t even bother to ask ?How was your day?? If she DID talk about someone else, it would usually be in the nature of nasty gossip and things that would probably hurt someone else. Who wouldn?t get sick and tired of that? Who wouldn?t want to break free from that horror? Nikki was that big break from being just another of Sara?s (let?s call her that) ?sidekicks? and aside from being my big break, it was also a saving grace that opened my eyes and told me; ?What in hell have you been doing all these years with that friend abuser?!? and ?What the hell have you been thinking?!?By the end of the year, we were practically sisters (not in a girly way), since we hung out a lot both in and out of school? we were with each other almost 24/7 and yet, we never had a dull moment together ? we never got tired of each other?s company. Whether it was burning our fingers on a video game console, watching anime on television, reading books that were five hundred pages long or making a huge mess in the kitchen, it was never boring. We would always find something to do or something to talk about ? not some mindless, girly chat like others do though (we were like total tomboys anyway). We would talk about big things like our dreams and our plans, or we would talk about small, trivial things like what movie we should watch or about a joke we had heard. Every second together was fun, even more fun than the years I had with my Japanese ?best friend?. If talking failed, she would take out her guitar and I would start drawing ? It was a blissful sort of silence.?Why do I keep pointing out the good things about this?? some people ask; ?There must be a downside to this.? But I really can?t point out anything bad that has happened when we were friends and I believe that that is the point. When I?m friends with and especially when I am the best of friends with someone, it makes me forget about their faults and what they lack. It doesn?t matter if they were a bit dumb or had a bad habit I didn?t like, because if we were real friends ? and I mean really, REALLY real friends, it won?t matter as much anymore. The moment I look at someone and not judge them for their flaws, that is the moment that I know; ?This person is a real friend and someone I can trust and rely on.? And that?s how I am with Nikki. I do not think I can name a single aspect that I don?t like about her.I really, really, REALLY miss Nikki now that I think about it. During the days when there are no classes, I would stay up really late just to see if she was online, so we can catch up and chat. If there was one thing I wish that hadn?t happen, I wish Nikki hadn?t moved to America.
I learn from my journey so far that there is rarely anything like best friend. It's just green grass that we see in life. Everyone forgets about us at the end of the day and move to their own life. They have the right to do just that. Maybe i made my opinion because of the things that happened in my life. But i don't think in this fast pace life i'm that wrong. People care about those who have fame, money and are good looking. If one has those things then everyone likes to associate themselves to that guy. i know it sounds weird but i came across similar people. I just try to be friendly,informative or strict with people depending on the type of situation. I rarely get in to hatred or enemy type of relation. It's just not productive either way. I don't try to find best in friends or get on their tail. I leave them be what they want to do with their life. Maybe because i'm kinda lonewolf type guy. I don't know how people find time for stating things like - best friend, best husband/wife and all that. It's just the thoughts that comes up when they take time off their life and try to read what happened to their life. My post has nothing to do with what OP stated but more of my world about this whole relationship or being friendly thing. So that ends my friendship rant.
A great quote is one I read on Twitter the other day (and of course retweeted). It pretty much stated that a best friend is the one that walks in when everyone else walks out. Which means the person that is there no matter what, even when everyone else ditches you.
i think your lucky to have experienced that close relationship with someone, adell. some people don't find a friend like that, in a lifetime. i grew up with two sisters though. so did you. so to compare your friend to a sister is really not doing it justice as you and i both know. it was actually a pretty good post or short story about the relationship you had once, but at the end, you ruined it all by wishing she never moved to america. basically, what you were wishing was selfish and not thinking about your friends' best interest at all. to me, best friends don't think selfish.life is give and take so there is a flip side in anything. just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.
I am very glad for you that you had the oppertunity to experience the wonders of true friendship. Now you have the experience and you can use it as you go threw life to help you judge others and help you make new friends. You have already realized how with the other gal you were just a "sidekick" as you described it. You now know what it takes to be a real friend. Also keep in mine, it works both ways. In order to have friends, you have to be one. And while it is important to deal with the here and now, and continue to make new friends, do make a special effort to keep in touch with Nikki. Emails, even if you aren't up at the same time. Don't loose track of her. Someday maybe a situation may come up that will give you the chance for a reunion. You just never know what twists of fate await you around the next corner.