My Friend Being Used By his own girlfriend

[Furor 0]

This is really getting on my nerves. I have a friend (he's not been very close though) who's been my friend for around 3 years now. He's recently been acquainted with his girlfriend who completley uses him. It has been a long time since he liked her. He had proposed lots of times and got rejected. Well, now that he's got his drivers license, she friggin' accepted his proporsal and they are going out now. I at first thought that this was good, but now I've come to see things that have taken my aback. She hangs around with other guys when my friend's not around and by hanging around I mean some "nasty" stuff. I've come to learn that she's only hanging around with my friend because he's got his car and would (like a driver) take her any place whenever she wanted. She lives pretty far off and depends on my friend to take her out for shopping whenever she wanted. And my friend like a blind bat is on it. I've tried talking to him about this but he would'nt want to talk about that and says that "he doesn't mind". That is insane. I've heard many people throw comments on his back (like "cab driver"). I've tried telling him that as well. I guess he's completley lost it behind her now. Is there any way you could suggest for me to get this guy his senses back. Anything at all. Thanks for the help.

[iGuest 3]

Hmm, the term we used is whipped, but it's simple.He likes her, a lot...so in a sense she gives him some kind of security and he feels as though its worth it to take her *BLEEP* to get that security...however, I say you shouldn't do anything and here's why...People can live unhappily for some time, but eventually the bad will begin to outweigh the good...even for him. Let's face it, he can't stay in a bad relationship forever, and will eventually put himself first...I'm a chump ...trust me, I've been used too many times to count. Simply because I'm sensetive, and am not good at hurting other peoples feelings... I know I know, sounds like an excuse...here's the funny thing...IT IS. And we know they're excuses.He knows hes being used, but he simply doesn't care. He thinks it's worth the trade for the feeling of security that he's recieving...all you can do is give him space and time..he'll figure it out.

[Becca 0]

I have no advice for this.. but sometimes it is good to let nature do the work.Just tell him what you need to tell him, he wont listen, then leave him alone. He MIGHT soon start to come to his senses that the relationship thing is not going to work...Me... I'm sensitive but I'm seriously over powering... I don't get tricked much because I understand this world... my friends are still up in cloud 9 in their own little rainbow worlds.. but I've been through things they didn't even know existed....

[RGPHNX 0]

Hi Furor,Tell him ONCE & then forget it (ala Becca's advice). Then stay TOTALLY out of it if you value the friendship. Only do stuff with your friend when the "user" isn't around & don't discuss the "user" with him.As last resort ->> GET NEW FRIENDS.You can't save the world man !!!RGPHNX

[Milk 0]

This isn't good for your friend. It's an unhealthy relationship. He's so totally whipped, you need to give him a punch in the face. Maybe somehow pin her down or something and some how show that she's a backstabbing little *BLEEP*. Unless of course, you have a friendship with the girl and you place a high amount of value on it....If you think, then your friend deserves better than her. Or, maybe you can slap the girl up some >_>

[choetry 0]

Well, from what you said, your friend is totally crazy for her and will do anything just for her, even being used. Don't worry too much about him, like everyone said, he'll put himself one day eventually. At the moment, he is blinded by love. Just one advice for him at the moment, don't spend too much on her:p

[JaVe 0]

I agree with all of the above, you tell him and if he says aawww 'shucks' or nevermind then let him go his way. From there on it is for him to find out what's happening and then eventually you'll know you were right.

[Furor 0]

Yeah, thanks for the advice people. I just didn't want him to blindly fall into something which he knows isn't quite right for him. He sure is gonna get his mind back and when he does, I know it's going to be ugly.I should push away from this and let him run free on his thought.Thanks guys!

[rvovk 0]

Yes, he must learn this lesson hard way. Eventually he will see that things are not smooth in his relationship. Maybe he is really in love with girl, maybe she is really atracttive to him, so chemical and hormon thinggy is fully devolped in his case. After some time he will realise that this is just a dead end and hothing else. I am quite sad to see people that have this kind of relationship, at the end he will be very unhappy, cause his "fairytail" will come to end and he will make a freefall directly to the ground. Erm, would you think that making love to your woman on a nice winter night and then next time you hear her she says:"We are history." , yeap, in his case I would run like hell.

[JaVe 0]

What's getting on my nerves is i think i have a friend who's being used too. He went out with a girl lets call dolly, his name is Mau. Mau went out with dolly for many weeks and finally without reason she dumped him, i don't know if she liked him but Mau liked her. So, now they're still friends but the same thing still happens; whever she's hungry or wants something she just goes up to a vending machine and points at saying i'm hungry and he'll buy it. It's not just simple friendship, sure you can buy someone somthing once in a while, but this has been going on for ever. She's greedy and using is what i suspect, i've never liked her. I wish i could give some more backround info but i have to study so bye.

[BordaForx 0]

You should just tell him once, and he will eventually figure it out. If he doesn't, he will, the hard way. He will see his gf with other men, won't he?

[ashiezai 0]

erm .. i think that it's your friend's choice to continue the relationship or not .. it's his right to do that ... but as a friend we might think that it's not worth it ... but maybe for your friend .. he might think that everything is worth it ...so .. i would say that it's best to let your friend decide what to do ... and do no argue this thing with him ... do not let a girl ruin your 3 years' friendship

[OhMyBosh 0]

***** WHIPPED! ! lol. But he probably knows whats going on. My friend was with one of the better looking girls at school. Only because she wanted to make here previous boyfriend jealous. He knew she was using him, and he used her. (they weren't gonna get married or anything.) He'd have funn and they'd umm get busy. (erm) They broke up like two weeks later and moved on. But if your friend isn't getting anything outta it. Something that'd make him happy, and she's just abusing him I'd suggest that you talk to your friend. But hey, whatever makes him happy. Some guys are just like that.

[quakesand 0]

lol, sounds like me and my first love.But i blame myself, I was stupid...Just treat him as normal, he'll figure up..:'( why must topics make me think of her...

[Mermaid711 0]

This is really getting on my nerves. I have a friend (he's not been very close though) who's been my friend for around 3 years now. He's recently been acquainted with his girlfriend who completley uses him. It has been a long time since he liked her. He had proposed lots of times and got rejected. Well, now that he's got his drivers license, she friggin' accepted his proporsal and they are going out now. I at first thought that this was good, but now I've come to see things that have taken my aback. She hangs around with other guys when my friend's not around and by hanging around I mean some "nasty" stuff. I've come to learn that she's only hanging around with my friend because he's got his car and would (like a driver) take her any place whenever she wanted. She lives pretty far off and depends on my friend to take her out for shopping whenever she wanted. And my friend like a blind bat is on it. I've tried talking to him about this but he would'nt want to talk about that and says that "he doesn't mind". That is insane. I've heard many people throw comments on his back (like "cab driver"). I've tried telling him that as well. I guess he's completley lost it behind her now. Is there any way you could suggest for me to get this guy his senses back. Anything at all. Thanks for the help.

You've never heard of this before? Girls do it all the time. My advice is that you let him learn his lesson and let nature take its course. He will soon get poed and dump her.