Lovers 2 Friends? is it possible?

[grrlfromoz 0]

On Sunday my boyfriend, my best friend, and I broke up. We are both altogether certain we are soulmates and are meant to be together forever. In fact, that was the plan. It is still the plan actually, even though we can never be truely "together" in the physical sense. See the thing is, he's getting back together with the mother of his daughter (who I only learned this weekend even existed). He still wants me to be his girlfriend and I want nothing more than to do just that, but we'll never be together because he'll never leave the mother for the sake of the daughter. The sort of pain I am experiencing is overwhelming and indescribable. We're still talking; we're going to get through this together, even as I'm supposed to meet someone else and fall in love. He's the other half of me. And suddenly he has a family that I'll never be a part of. I never thought this would happen. I just keep praying...

[iGuest 3]

I come from a not so great environment...in other words, I didn't grow up in the best conditions. Therefore, I never really had anyone.I met a guy named Trey in school about 2 years ago. We've been on and off for a year and 2 months. While I think that he is who I'm supposed to be with, I very highly doubt that he feels the same way. We've broken up twice, for other females, which makes me almost certain that he can't see staying with me.The first time that we broke up, I held on..TIGHT. I thought it wasn't going to ever get better, but it did and I eventually started dating someone else. Trey found out and decided that he didn't want to talk to me anymore because of that, so we quit talking. I got better a lot faster, when he wasn't always in my face....The second time we broke up, I decided that I was going to move, get out of here, and once again quit talking to him....Needless to say we got back together and I made it clear that if he ever chose to leave again it better be a very stable decision...because he would not be allowed to change his mind again. Once gone, I'm gone.I know it sucks *bottom*,and you're sick of hearing it..I know I was..but you have to let go...don't talk to him, lay in bed, ball up and cry, take 3 hour showers, and cry, listen to songs that remind you of him, write letters to him just to ball em up and start over...I did...and it helped. You have to let it hurt. IF you're meant to be, he'll be back.I'm not saying quit caring, or erase him...but give yourself room to heal. And then maybe consider the friends thing. There's no use in him having everything he wants, so it's either you are her...you need to put your foot down...HARD.Good luck.

[squishybear 0]

wow... really touching stories, and advices, that i can relate to..... its really hard when you're head over heels about love, and everything just becomes complicated!!!! all i can say is feelings are feelings, and we sometimes, just need to get with the flow, cause we can't control our feelings! skooter is right, do what you feel like doing, cry if you need to... laugh... think about the good times, the bad times, even if it sucks - bigtime!. and just be hopeful that in the end, everything will be alright. It may take so much time and energy....(?) but remember, no one waits forever!!! in time, you;'ll be happy. also, what is important is doing what you feel is right! it may hurt, but that's part of the experience, that's part of love!i'm still starting to learn and experience these things.... and i just want to believe that when you love unconditionally, you should not be expecting something in return. just love, and yeah, don't quit caring! be happy and enjoy life... cause over all... life is good. and you'll not have problems you can't resolve!! so goodluck to all of us! just remember, love and enjoy. its worth the experience!

[no9t9 0]

i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that ozgrrl is young... probably <25 years old. Which probably also means you were really young when the relationship started (highschool i assume). In my experience, the "love" for someone when you are that young may not be. Although it does seem real at the time, relationships later in life tend to be more real and built on more solid ground. This is not to say that there won't be a chance to get another crack at your relationship with this guy. The second time will probably end better because you are more mature and have gone through this "Breakup". If you are able to get through this hurdle and somehow end up with him, then you've gone one step closer...Personally, I believe he may not be such a good guy. You may not agree right now but think about it... how could he hide the fact that he has a child??

[Cammy 0]

Personally I dont have a good feeling about, it. If someone is serious about you they will show it. Action speaks louder than words. He does not show you respect and other girls? You are worth more than that. Breaking up is hard , especially when you are in love. My boyfriend and I broke up for a while after we had our son but we are back together, he was just scared. no cheating involved thankfully. I have been cheated on in the past and the fool I was held on but not for too long. If you dont respect yourself, you wont be respected. Think of the type of relationshp you want to have in the long term and choose wisely. Never settle for 2nd place. Good luck!

[AbstracT 0]

My ex is my best friend and we've been off and on for about 2 years. Right now we're off because the trust in the relationship has been broken too many times..However, we remain best friends but it hurts so much because it's always a connection there and i get jealous when i know she wid some guy and vice versa. I wish things could be different but it's too late and we both have to accept it and move on. Grrl you may think it's hard right now but i know for a fact that it will get easier each day you wake up. And yes you will feel like your half is missing but you have to remember that just because u love someone does not mean u r made 2 b togetha. I hope you get thru it.

[MidnightDevil 0]

I understand the pain you're going through, when someone brakes down our world, our dreams and the most wanted and pure thoughts, it never stops being about pain, but then will come the instand sadness, the "why it happened". You know, someone don't take their options on the right time, the live for a while with heavy consciense and one day, they turn up to be "someone else" or make a drastic decisions that put a heart on the line. It's called love, love isn't only about happyness, lot's of misstakes are made because of it. or because we want to feel it or hope it changes something, even though life teach us that not everything works that way.If I was you, (it's never easy to write this because I understand how you feel), you had it, you had your feelings, you did your part, your sould learned from it, felt it, it was you who been there and it's you who's going through. move on, let him "fly" and continue with your life. the following weeks are in pain, but you'll start feeling lighter again.. just be proud that you felt love... now a pratical exercise, put your left hand over your right shoulder, and your right hand on your left shoulder, tighten! consider that a hug from me

[grrlfromoz 0]

First of all, thank you everybody for being so nice when I SO needed it. It hurts a little less knowing people I've never even met have such warm hearts, and that I am not the only one to have experienced a broken heart. (HUGs back to MidnightDevil )I'm still trying to work out the details as to how this ever could have happened, but I don't know that I'll ever be able to decypher this one. To no9t9's suggestion, yep I'm 23 but this relationship didn't start in high school, but rather 6 months ago. Maybe it's not long, but feels like forever. You're right Cammy, I deserve respect. *high fives* I don't know that I'll ever be able to stop talking to him, but I don't have any hopes like I used to for a future together. *sigh* I swear it gets more complicated by the minute!

[switch 0]

'Love' is a strange thing. I guess the main thing that makes it so difficult to understand is that you can experience it to an extent, and think that it's everything, and then later experience it beyond what you first did and know it is everything. the cycle goes on and on! this is a guy's perspective, so i don't know how much you'll appreciate it or how much sense it'll make to you, but here goes anyway:firstly, i believe that everything happens for a reason. sometimes (lots of the time!) God works in ways that us as human beings have huge difficulties understanding. Nonetheless, you're being looked after!it may well seem dodgy that this guy has a child, but you have to keep in mind that even though he may have some dodgy origins, people change a lot during their lifetime, and he may be absolutely awesome now. one last thing: never deny your feelings. keeping things bottled up doesn't help anyone; we are people made for relationships, bottling up your feelings denies everything that is human.hope i've helped in some way (i feel like i can't really get across what i'm trying to say)!good luck, God bless ya.

[quakesand 0]

Another problem with love...happens to me all the time, lol...another time when someone takes away hopeanother pain flow through all of us...what can we all do? just hope that we have luck..Good Luck with your soulmate, We know how you feel, sadly..Sigh....maybe this will result in good ending, just expect to have one and try to reach your goal.

Edited October 26, 2006 by quakesand (see edit history)

[sarahscope 0]

You didn't know about his daughter??!!??!! WTF?!?! If someone can lie like that, and it's not a little lie, we're talking a human being here, why on earth would you want ANYTHING but anything to do with him?? Seriously....I'm all for exs being friends (I just don't get the whole "they're my ex so I can't possibly talk to them ever again") but the position he's put you in is horrible!TBH, I don't know what to say to console you. But the person you love should never lie to you, it's something I just can't abide - something that actually sickens me. Is what you had the real deal, or do you just think it was?The right person is probably still waiting for you...

[iGuest 3]

let it be...and be happy!!Lovers 2 Friends?

the best thing you can do is to let go...

cause you can never be happy holding somebody which is not yours anymore..

then you'll see.. you will be relieved in some point..

trust me!

-reply by lyle