Can You Call A Long Distance Relationship An Actual Relationship?

[ritu 1]

The question that I am going to ask probably is one which many people might be thinking about, irrespective of the fact that they have experienced it themselves or not. I had been in such a relationship with a guy who is now my husband.Before you start to think it was a fairy tale like love story, let me tell you that it was a case of arranged marriage, like the way many of them take place in India. Though it is considered to be taking away someone's rights, yet in my case I wouldn't complain, as I had no time to look for a partner myself. Coming back to the topic, the candidature(lol) of my husband was placed by one of our neighbours, the families hardly knew each other, so was the case with both the individuals in question. He is a resident of Mumbai and we were put up at Guwahati in Assam. He covered a a long distance just to have a glance of mine, don't you think that makes me special?After it was all decided, now the families decided that we needed to know each other better. In came the tough part, he would call me up after we could wind up all our work everyday, and we would chat for hours, that was the initial part, now things started getting deeper, I mean the intensity of emotions and how we would shape our future. Slowly, I started to realise that talking over the phone couldn't set up things easily for you, often I would find his phone unreachable, or busy which would increase the level of, not really insecurity but tension due to unavailability.He experiences sort of mood fluctuations at times, but those turned out to be absolutely unbearable as I had to depend on a mere device to communicate what I meant to. Sometimes, the only option that I could find was to cry with my face covered. Another point to be mentioned in this regard is that I would miss his company, which couldn't be rendered over phone, especially when I would see my friends with their partners, its about being together in a relationship, our souls are one kind of things hardly yield practically.Most of my friends and acquaintances would wonder about the fact that how could I get married to someone I had seen only once. But I don't really think that any extra level of adjustment was required on my part than those people had to give in the same effort even after dating their partners in person for as long as five years. So, though I suffered being in a long distance relationship, for some petty reasons, I do have something that can be termed normal, as in a relationship.Moreover, who doesn't face complications in a relationship, it actually tests your dedication and the bond strengthens. So, in my opinion a long distance relationship can be an actual relationship. What do you think?

[prashansas 0]

It complete depends from person to person. As for me I too am in a long distance relationship for the past 2 years now. We also had almost the same situation like you said when we first started out. We got to know each other through a family friend and hardly saw each other for like 15minutes. Though we both are from mumbai but he works abroad and then after a month when he went back abroad he added me on one of the social network sites and we didn't even mean to start of a relationship but from both the sides it was just a "Give it a try" kind of a thing. But in like 2 weeks time we started liking each other's company and we fell in love and till date we are still deeply in love with each other. Though we miss being close to each other but we completely trust each other and have faith in our relationship. I think that's what keeps a long distance relationship going on Trust in each other with mutual understanding and the dedication to live an entire life with each other and very important your faith in God to make things work out for the good for both of you. I feel that though being far and not physically close though it is important what will help succeed a long distance relationship is the efforts that both the people put in it. The efforts should be two sided for it to work. Then comes complete trust overcoming our weakness like jealousy and knowing that the other person loves us no matter even if we don't get to see each other every single day. Then comes mutual understanding and how you make out with each other when you two fight or disagree. And most important "Never let ego interfere" because if that comes in there is no hope for any relationship whether being close to each other or far.

[xChellesei 0]

I agree to prashansas. :)I also think that it varies from person to person. I haven't been in a relationship so I cannot speak based on my experiences, but I know people who are in a distance relationships. Several years ago, I saw my aunt crying for hours whenever her husband departs for Dubai. I was a very innocent kid back then so I don't know how painful it is for my aunt. After two years, my uncle came back. My aunt was really really happy. Two months after, my uncle had to leave again. She cried a lot. So, I asked some of my other aunts how it feels like to be separated with their husband. All of them answered that it's really painful. They know that they can't do anything since it's for work, but, it's still hard to bear the separation.My mom told me that if both persons really love each other, just like my aunt and uncle, their relationship will last. Since they both have trust and faith with each other, no matter how far and how long they are separated, their bond won't break. They may be far from each other but their hearts are well connected. I think loyalty is important too. Some long distance relationships don't work because of the lack of patience and understanding of either of the two or both. These relationships don't work because they aren't holding on really tight to make the relationship last. For me, these relationships are weak because distance is not something that can completely separate two people.

[prashansas 0]

Some long distance relationships don't work because of the lack of patience and understanding of either of the two or both. These relationships don't work because they aren't holding on really tight to make the relationship last. For me, these relationships are weak because distance is not something that can completely separate two people.

Very right. I agree with you as patience and understanding is very important when away from your loved one. Because making a long distance relationship work needs too much patience and understanding. And yes Distance doesn't matter when two people want to make the relationship work. I can say this from my personal experience.

[sharmiladevi 0]

It all depends on how wavelength between the two persons work out. Sometimes, the long distance relationship will be more pleasant than the near and dear ones. As in my friend's case, shes more comfortable with her long distance relationship (now her husband) when compared to her parents. He gave her lot of freedom to explore her talent when compared to her parents, who really dint encourage her inborn talents. Shes really proud to have such a husband in her life. Its all about how they understand each other and how they are confident in persuing themselves inspite of others different opinions and of course they are apart in different places because of their job situations.

[rpgsearcherz 5]

I think it is different from person to person as well. There are many families that have to rely on long-distance relationships, such as military families (where the military person can be gone for a year or longer sometimes). I will say that it requires a lot of trust though. Especially with longer timeframes, trust is necessary or it won't work out. I've seen these go south quite a bit for college students, where a couple goes to separate schools.

[Ananya 0]

Long distance relationship always needs a special sort of nurturing.We usually say that out of sight is always out of mind.This psychology is the most scaring aspect of long distance relationship.Because long distance relationship doesn't provide any close rapport with the person concerned.Emails,chatting,mobile conversations are the sole tools to maintain a long distance relationship.A long distance relationship generally comes along with it a lot of pessimism cropping up in the minds of both the partners.Since one can't get in touch physically so mind starts questioning what the other person is doing when the phone is dropped/chatting is stopped.Loyalty towards the partner becomes a big question mark.Physical distances matter only when the mental distance between 2 people becomes so wide that even after a lot of communication its difficult to restore faith between them.

[nanna 0]

A long distance relationship can and does work in some peoples cases i know i was in a long distance relationship 27 years go.And me and my then fiancee have been married 26 years this year.My husband lived in Bredene in Belgium and i lived in Slough in England 27 years ago.We used to write to each once or twice a week.And we used to phone one another once a week.I also traveled once a month to Bredene in Belgium once a month and would stay a week to 10 days.I think the relationship depends on the couple themselves if there is enough love and trust between the couple wether it be a short or long distance relationship will always work.

[sheepdog 10]

I agree with Nanna, it entirely depend on the people involved and the depth of their commitment to each other. Circumstances can vary greatly, but keeping in contact by the phone or with letters can keep the fires lit for those who truely care about the one they are seperated from. True love knows no bounds.

[rpgsearcherz 5]

keeping in contact by the phone or with letters...

This, I think is the most important thing. Keeping in constant contact.

The biggest problem I've seen people go through when it comes to long distance relationships is cutting down on contact, calling once a week or less often, and things drift apart because of it.