I Skip School Often. Long read.

[Fridsade 0]

Hi. I'm 16 and I have a problem. Currently this is the fourth day I've skipped school in a row and I've been absent atleast 2-3 times a week ever since school started on September 9. This is nothing new, I've had a problem with not showing up to school throughout my whole life. In fifth grade I would skip almost everyday, I racked up 50+ absents throughout the whole school year. In sixth grade I was absent 60+ times, which caused me to get left back a grade and I was forced to repeat the sixth grade. In seventh grade I managed to do a little better by being absent only 20 times. By 8th grade, I was living with my cousin who was determined to set me straight. He grounded me by taking my phone, computer, TV and by not letting me go out every time I cut school. This motivated me to do better and I passed that year with decent grades. In 9th grade I was back with living with my alcoholic father an hour away from my school, and I don't know why but I started skipping again. I barely passed freshmen year and I was forced to go to summer school. I'm currently in 10th grade and my same old behavior is getting in the way. The weird thing is, I understand how important school is, I also understand that living in the world today, it can be difficult without a high school education but I still cut. I don't know why. I guess I should tell a little bit about my life as well. When I was 5, my mother and my father came to America and left me with my grandfather. I had a happy childhood there, I was a spoiled brat. At 7, I came to America and that's when I lived with my family (Mom, dad, and sister). I was happy and then my grandfather came down with an illness and my mother was forced to go back to my country. He passed away when she got there. My mother was unable to come back to America (It's not her fault tho). During her absence, my sister got messed up due to my father's drinking. He's emotionally abusive to her and she was targeted because she was much older. She started self-harming by slitting her wrists and also skipping school. I was too young to understand what was going on and I just lived life, doing what 7-13 year old's would do. She eventually dropped out of high school and has been working full-time ever since then. When I was 14, my sister had moved out with her boyfriend so it was just me and my alcoholic father. We eventually got the eviction notice for our apartment and was told to move out within 2 weeks, this just caused my father to drink and more. We did eventually get evicted and I didn't really know what to think, my mind was sort of blank. Thankfully, my cousin was there to take us in. I lived there for about a month and my father had found another place, I decided I wanted to live with my cousin and then my father moved out. I was living great again, no problems whatsoever and I had people I could talk to. Fast forward a few more months and I moved back in with my father, as usual he started drinking again and not going to work, this lasted a few months. When I found out he stole $5 from my pants, I went into uncontrollable rage (Which I still have regrets till this day). Not because he took money from me, but because he used that money for beer. That morning I left the house and didn't come home for 2 days. I called my cousin the second night and asked if I could live there again and he said yes. I took my clothes and left my father that same night. While I was packing, he kept apologizing and kept telling me that he won't ever drink again, I believed him but still moved out. I wanted to show him that he hurt me throughout all this time. Fast forward a couple more months and I'm now living with my father again, an hour away from my school. As usual he's been drinking this whole time (Broke his promise) and I've lost trust in him. He has his drinking 'phases' where he would constantly drink from a week to 3 weeks. He lays on the couch all day drinking, not going to work and literally destroys himself to the point where going to the bathroom can be a hassle. He drinks till he can't even walk straight and is constantly shaking. I hate to see him like this. Right now things seem like they're going to change. We're moving out and moving in with my uncle closer to my school, I'm very close to my uncle so I'm excited. Not only that, I'll be closer to all my friends. I'm confident in myself that I can go to school everyday once I move in 2 days. I'm sorry for this long read and including useless information about my life, I just needed all of this weight off my chest. I guess my question is, why am I skipping school? Even while knowing the lifelong consequences of not having a high school education, I still wake up and say "F*ck it". Why? I don't know, why. Why am I skipping school?

Edited September 28, 2011 by Fridsade (see edit history)

[sheepdog 10]

Oh Dear, I am sorry to hear what a mess your life has been. It's amazing your sane at all. You've suffered far too much trama for someone so young. But now, having said that, it is the hand you have been dealt, and there isn't anything you can do about it, so your best chance is to learn from it and realize that there is a better way to live. You cannot make your father stop drinking. But you can get your butt back to school and stay there. You said you realized why you need the educations, that is certainly a good thing. What you need is just a little more motivation, which I'm sure in your circumstances, is pretty hard to come by. It does sound like your cousin would be a big help. You'd be far better off staying with him than your drunken father. I think if you just apply yourself, you can figure out how to get motivated. You sound like an intelligent person, you can make good grades when you try. Maybe if you make that one of your goals, to apply yourself to good grades, or find a subject that you really like and take advanced courses in that to make you feel better about yourself, and give you goals to attain that will help you in a few more years when you get into the job market. Don't let your sorry lot in life drag you down. You can be a better and stronger and smarter person by just applying yourself. Good luck and my best wishes to you.

[mcddictator 0]

Find some thing better to stick in your classes rather than education. Some sort of friends who r regular in classes or some better girls you are attracted. If you got a girl (if she care a little more in studies) then u ll get ur butt bak in school regularly to at-least to maintain a good healthy relation ships. Human being is social animal, his surroundings keep him to avoid wandering and to stick on. So find interests in some thing related to ur classes.

[rpgsearcherz 5]

Find some thing better to stick in your classes rather than education. Some sort of friends who r regular in classes or some better girls you are attracted. If you got a girl (if she care a little more in studies) then u ll get ur butt bak in school regularly to at-least to maintain a good healthy relation ships. Human being is social animal, his surroundings keep him to avoid wandering and to stick on. So find interests in some thing related to ur classes.

That's a good point.

Also, when it comes to school it is what you make of it. Many people have this view that what you learn is "worthless," and although a majority of it won't be used later on in life, the principles you learn will. Find things you're interested in and do electives. Join school clubs, etc. There are tons of things you can find that will help bring about your interest!

[sheepdog 10]

Yes, I definatly think mcddictator is on to something. You need some kind of positive motivation in your life desperatly! A girlfriend might just be the ticket. If you can find one that is also motivated, and a positive influence. One that really liked school and was working hard to make good grades is a definate plus. Helping each other study would benefit both of you. I know this also may sound rather corny, but remember what they always asked little kids, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Think about that a little. See if there are classes, wether elective or regular classes in subjects that you have an interest in. Like for example, if you want to be a vetrinarian, you would want to take biology and chemistry courses, that sort of thing.

[Dipika 0]

Yes, I definatly think mcddictator is on to something. You need some kind of positive motivation in your life desperatly! A girlfriend might just be the ticket. If you can find one that is also motivated, and a positive influence. One that really liked school and was working hard to make good grades is a definate plus. Helping each other study would benefit both of you.
I know this also may sound rather corny, but remember what they always asked little kids, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Think about that a little. See if there are classes, wether elective or regular classes in subjects that you have an interest in. Like for example, if you want to be a vetrinarian, you would want to take biology and chemistry courses, that sort of thing.

One must me regular in School and study with dedication and sincerity. The early years of Education and the Hard Work create a Good Foundation and makes your future life successful,flourishing and prosperous.

[k_nitin_r 8]

Dipika,Attending classes and ensuring that all course work is attended to does require a great deal of dedication, but there comes a time when one has to decide between things that are equally important. For example, if you have a class but have to complete an assignment for another course, you may choose to skip class to attend to your course work. At times, a field study for a project might be the cause of skipping class or perhaps showing up late for a class. In either case, there still is dedication toward course work when skipping classes.I remember I would sit in a class but work on an assignment for another class because I didn't want to run late - when I knew I wouldn't have time to work on an assignment at home, I would try to complete it while in another class. The system worked for me because I read the chapters ahead of class so knew what the class was about, but it was nice to get to listen to the instructor in class as it was a quick was to review the course material.