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OsamaBinSteve

This Was An Assingment In My English 12 Class. What do you think.

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We had to write an essay in 10 mins about going to the underworld. It could be ancient times, or present times. Also, instead of the underworld, you could write about hell. Here's what I came up with...

 

I open my eyes. I have no idea where I am. The air tastes of sulfur and burning flesh. I try to think back and remember what happened that led me to this place. I try as hard as I can to remember. Nothing..... I keep trying. Still, nothing..... I give one last thought. I start to see a picture in my head.

 

Posted Image

 

.......Uhhhh...Ok then.... As I see the picture my memory starts to return to me.

It's a peaceful Saturday morning. I'm out for a relaxing drive, even though I've had a little too much to drink. But as you can see from the picture, it was alot more then "a little too much." And why was I drunk already that early in the morning? Whatever. I thought it would be fun to try to jump a house. Well....that was obviously a good idea. But then how did I get here? And where is here? Then it hits me.

 

"I'm in the Underworld," I scream out.

 

I look around. Everywhere I set my sight, someone is being tortured. Which brings up the question, why did I not notice all this before? It's horrible, people being dipped in lava. People being skinned alive. Having to sit and listen to terrible music for all of eternity! (That last one sounds particularly horrible)

It still smells of burning flesh. My skin is burning from the intense heat. I'm kind of hungry. Yes, I know that's pretty messed up, but...ehhhh.

 


That's what I got, what do you think? Pretty good essay for a 10 minute time limit right? Also, in case you're wondering, I can't indent. So I have to double space my paragraphs.

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Well... your grammar and spelling are pretty good. You do have a lot of incomplete sentences though!Other than that, I think it's pretty short for 10 minutes. But that depends on how fast you type, really (I do about 750 words in 10 minutes when I do free-writing).

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Well... your grammar and spelling are pretty good. You do have a lot of incomplete sentences though!
Other than that, I think it's pretty short for 10 minutes. But that depends on how fast you type, really (I do about 750 words in 10 minutes when I do free-writing).



Yeah, I seriously have a problem with incomplete sentences. I always have. As for my typing speed, I'm not the fastest typist in the world, but I guess I can get by. Truthfully, most of my time went into thinking about what to write. She didn't give us any time to think about what to write, she was just like, "you have 10 minutes to write about going to the underworld, go!" Another thing I spend time on is my humor. I seriously can't write a story without being humorous. Trust me, I've tried so many times.
But all in all, thanks for your input ^_^

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Yeah, I seriously have a problem with incomplete sentences. I always have. As for my typing speed, I'm not the fastest typist in the world, but I guess I can get by. Truthfully, most of my time went into thinking about what to write. She didn't give us any time to think about what to write, she was just like, "you have 10 minutes to write about going to the underworld, go!" Another thing I spend time on is my humor. I seriously can't write a story without being humorous. Trust me, I've tried so many times.But all in all, thanks for your input ^_^


No problem! And incomplete sentences really aren't that much of an issue as long as your writing isn't full of them. In fact, having some is seen as being more "professional" than going without. It's odd but true.

As for the writing, I didn't really think about it in terms of having to write about a certain topic; that definitely makes a difference.

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