Family Betrayal Mother destroyed family coz of selfishness

[missy2205 0]

Mother felt there was no affection between her and husband then decided to date younger man. All the time she used to make excuses about business meetings until one day daughter went out with boyfriend to a hotel for a meal only to see her mother with a younger man booking into the hotel and yet she had lied that she was going out for a business meeting in another city. Daughter followed her mother into the hotel only to be told that her mother was not taking any calls off people or making time to see anyone due to being very busy. Daughter then left and went back to the house and told her auntie (mum's younger sister) about what she had witnessed. The younger sister suggested they should go back to the hotel to confront the sister. As soon as she got there the receiptionist refused them to go and confront the sister then they went back home. Daughter was soo hurt that she wanted to tell her father but her aunt stopped her from saying anything. Time went by, daughter began to feel no respect for her mother and all the time would not listen to her whenever she spoke to her. Time passed by mother continued with her cheatin on the husband until one day it caught up with her. She started feeling feverish, was in bed all week and started saying that she didnt feel well, her elder sister came and took her to hospital. She had some tests done and got the shock of her life with the results. She tested positive of HIV and AIDS and also was told she had a kidney infection. She agreed with her elder sister that she wasnt going to tell her husband about her tests results. Her husband felt lonely and got comfort from his wife's younger sister then began to have a relationship with her. Since the sister wanted to keep it as a secret, she wouldnt tell her hubby nor daughter about her illness, until when elder sister began to avoid her and this affected her to bits. She then suggested to get discharged from hospital and went back home. One day hubby and younger sister got busy downstairs and she needed some help, managed to go down the stairs and as doin soo, got the shock of her life, sister busy making love to her hubby, then she went back upstairs. Daughter also found out about her father's and aunt's affair then moved out of the house and left. Coz of all the pain she had put everyone thru, she had noone to share with what she had witnessed until when she decided to be honest with her family, told her younger sister first that she was HIV positive n suggested that her sister went for some tests, before she could tell her hubby, he was involved in an accident and died on the spot.Younger sister went for some tests and tested positive, went back home and told her elder sister about it and told her she was relocating, coz sister was left with noone, she committd suicide and she died. After some time, daughter came back home only to find noone around, went to her auntie's house and everything was explained to her, the death of her father, young aunt relocating, and mother's suicide.How would u cope with such an odeal if it was to be u going through all this and ur family putting u through all this?

[anwiii 17]

How would u cope with such an odeal if it was to be u going through all this and ur family putting u through all this?

wow! are you the daugher then or what? i am not seeing things clearly here though. how can there be so many secrets? so basically what happened was mother cheated on a marriage and contracted aids. since nobody told the husband, the husband contracted it before the wife knew of her results. meanwhile, the husband was cheating on wife as well and passed it along to wife's sister. dad dies, mom commits suicide in shame, and other are left to try and deal with the after math.

how would i cope if i was the daughter? i wouldn't be able to. i think something like this would affect me the rest of my life. i am not keen on secrets though and this is an extreme example of why i am not a believer in secrets. how one copes depends on the age and where one is living i guess and take it day by day. life goes on with us or without us so we have to make a choice to live on.

i feel like saying something about the mother, but i am not going to. i will say this though, there is a reason why it is illegal to have sex with another person in the united states when you know you have contracted hiv AND do not tell your partner! i would try to find this guy who spread this virus to others and see what he has to say about all this!

[web_designer 7]

i am really sorry to hear such a horrible situation. which is mostly affected the daughter who has nothing to do with all that elder mistakes. now how she could cope??this is hard to be done but she should to. it is a complicated and sad situation that may affect her all her life. but in the same time she should stand for herself and make a decision to move on and learn from all those lies and irresponsible actions they made. there was a lot of selfishness, irresponsibility and lies in there. if she still thinking of all that she will ruin her life too. so in spite of all the pain she feel she should make a choice to herself to be a better person in life and move on. and let days recover her slowly and help her to forget. good luck for that daughter, hope she will see better days from now on.

[deadmad7 4]

WOW, that sounds to be a sick horror story about what might happen if you cheat. So, the chances catch up to you huh? Catching AIDS, which is kind of rare but not that rare nowadays and the husband getting hit by a accident and dieing, really? It probably has a less than 1 out of a Million chances of happening. But I really feel Sorry for any family broken apart by this, that must have sucked for the daughter. I hope the daughter lived happily and healthy after that. @Anwiii - why do you think its her? It's just a story and she want's to know how we would do in the situation and whole thing is in 3rd person view... I think it could be a friend or just a story from a different person she heard. Is it, missy?

[anwiii 17]

@Anwiii - why do you think its her? It's just a story and she want's to know how we would do in the situation and whole thing is in 3rd person view... I think it could be a friend or just a story from a different person she heard. Is it, missy?

i dunno dude. i didn't assume it was her. i ASKED if it was. i don't look at it as just a story though. nobody is going to make up a story like that i don't think so i will assume it was something that really happened.

deadmad, sometimes it is easier for people to talk in third person the more personal a story is to that person. but i am still confused who the daughter is who was away and nobody told her anything until she came back to the house. away where....school? that means the person is close to their 20's and probably raised middle class if she could afford to by away on her own? i am trying to piece it together but still not understanding fully...

i cann't really respond in more detail until i know more info to this situation or how it is affecting the daughter. everyone deals with things differently so to ask how other people would cope is sorta pointless to me. i hope we get some more clarity on this situation here soon. sounds important or it wouldn't have been written.

[mandla 0]

Oh my God dude. Thats such a sick life. surely how can a mother or woman be so heartless I mean I always assumed that normally in life the infidelity is normally prone to men not that woman are exempt but such high amount of descrepencies would come from a true player and when we say player its hardly a term owned by the female species. Its such a sad thing to have happened. I know maybe You dont wanna tell us if it was you or a friend that went through this horrible horriible tragedy missy, but just know that stuff like this does happen in life. You know the old saying that say life is stranger than fiction and your post is a true refection of this fact.

If you are the one who has been through i dont know how you would cope really you'd need plenty support and counselling and if its a friend or close reletive please give them all the support they need cause this is a harsh isssue to face through life on your own. I dont condone what the mom did as in cheating and sleepinga around and the web of lies that ran in the whole family, the affairs witht he aunties and all but I know for a fact things like that do happen.

Sometimes the parents forget that while they ar living thier life to the fullest sleeping with different partners and aving wanton sex with the forbidden fruit they may actually not only hurt each other but hurt the very children they brought into this world. Because as lovers they can forgive one another and move on and put the past behind, but how does a child cope with a family that breaks up in this manner.

Do the parents even bother to stop and see what dammage they are doing to the family life for the very kids they brought into the world. THis is a a typical Family betrayal for sure.

Edited to add this bit below.

It probably has a less than 1 out of a Million chances of happening.

Thats the reason why its so shocking when you find it out because these events are those events we always assum would never happen to me but just in horror films. But I know for a fact that this is a typpical day in normal life for people in other parts of Africa. I actually have been to Nigeria on a Church Outreach and one of the Youths we spoke to who was about 17/18 had a simialr issue to tell, though the story they told was more like dad is dating girls from my grade and to because this had been going on for months with daddy not changing, mom decided to get back at dad by dating young toy boys too. While they were busy fighting and provong that two can play that game. Their daughter was so embarassed by the whole thing and how the other kids atr school would make lewd comments about bending mom over behind the bike sheds or the pool changing rooms or rhte back seat, the daughter was so stressed and wiped out that she took an overdose of pills and tried to kill herself. The parents were too busy galavanting to even find out until she was out of hospital and had run away from home and ended up on the streets as a hooker to fend for her self. Thats how we met her on a street outreach in Lagos.

She hated that they were a rich family because it was the nice house and flashy cars that made dad such hot property with the girls. He would flash the cash and the girls knickers would fall to the floor. The mom started taking toy boys to expensive hotela and flying them around the country for escapades and because they were a prominent family in the community the stories spread like wild fire. Maybe if they were poor they would not have been so extravagant.

The thing i realised is it normally happens in the well to do kind of families. You find there is a Rich family and woman throw themselves at the husband so he can give them money for fashion and food, Basically the woman are gold diggers. And there are men who actually will only date rich married woman cause they know women will spoil their man. So Im not really that surprised when I hear this story even though I still have an opinion on how devasting and shocking this whole event myust have been for whoever goes through it.
Edited August 19, 2010 by mandla (see edit history)