Moving Too Fast! exs getting into another relationship right after the break up

[FoxGirl 0]

I was in a long term relationship with a man for 4 years and all of a sudden it was over due to him talking to a girl that lived across the street and it was getting into a sexual manor. After we broke up he was still saying that he loved me and that he didn't want me to leave and that he wanted to work things out. I still decided to move out and now I have found out some very hurtful facts of what he is doing now. He is now engaged to a 20 year old girl that he has known for a month and a half. He is almost 35 years old. She has a child by another man and has a very dark past. He has also gotten a marriage licence. I ran into him at walmart and he was buying a pregnance test. She lives with him and they are buying a house.....

 

How can he just move on like that? Why isn't he hurting like I am?

 

Was I that easy to forget.?

 

(help me)

[OpaQue 15]

WOW... You really got messed up there... (very sorry to hear all this, I understand 4 years is not a joke). But Now you know the Truth. So please, be more careful and learn to put more effort in your future relationship being a Girl. :-)

I strongly suggest making new friends and starting life all over again. Not with another relationship... but first, enjoy your single life till you get bored with it. :-)

 

If the world seems to move tooooo fast, Just Meditate 4 sum time

 

I can talk about your HIM... but its useless talking about him as he was clearly playing with you. If a guy is cheating on you, its obvious.. he just liked you.. not loved you. Thats why, if he was cheating on you... Dear, he has already forgotten about you. Its time, you throw him out too and re-claim your life.

[web_designer 7]

WOW... You really got messed up there... (very sorry to hear all this, I understand 4 years is not a joke). But Now you know the Truth. So please, be more careful and learn to put more effort in your future relationship being a Girl. :-)

I strongly suggest making new friends and starting life all over again. Not with another relationship... but first, enjoy your single life till you get bored with it. :-)

If the world seems to move tooooo fast, Just Meditate 4 sum time

I can talk about your HIM... but its useless talking about him as he was clearly playing with you. If a guy is cheating on you, its obvious.. he just liked you.. not loved you. Thats why, if he was cheating on you... Dear, he has already forgotten about you. Its time, you throw him out too and re-claim your life.

never agree more, opaque is right in every single word. i always say, if someone stepped on you and on your love, step on him too. never make the past hurt you, obviously what he felt towards you isn't love, and he doesn't deserve what you offering him.

so continue your life, forgot about him. and have a new life, hopping it will better than before.

[anwiii 17]

i am sorry you have to experience that. just fel lucky that you got out while you still could. and as far as being hurt that he can move on so easily? don't be.....his relationship wont last. he doesn't even know her and she is getting played just like you did because as it turns out, he doesn't even know what he wants.seriously though, feel lucky that you found out about his insecure behavior before you married him. it could have been worse. you just have to learn from this experience and move on. don't think about how great his life is right now because it's not so great when you really think about it. sometimes out own selfishness gets in the way of life. i mean, we always want someone to return the same type of love that we give ourselves and we get hurt if that doesn't happen.like i said, this is a learning experience and learning experiences aren't meant to be happy all the time you will be ok.

[sukhi 2]

@Foxgirl : Very sorry to hear this. leave the guy rigth away. It will be hard at the start but such breakups happen every second in the world and we have all gone through the same.Clearly you have been cheated by this guy but i know you love him so much and shall be not easy to forget him that fast. But trust me what you sow is what you reap. you will find one day that that girl has also ditched this guy and or vice versa. these people have no morals in them and try to see short term advantages instead of looking at long term fruits of happiness:)No matter how much we counsel you , I know that you have to face all this alone but I am sure you will come out of this and find a good guy sooooooon :)Take care and be Safe !

[FoxGirl 0]

thank you everyone that has written something about this matter....I am going to let you all know that I have moved out and I am doing the single life for now...I need to get back on my feet and find myself again....and have fun doing it...its still hard to deal with but I know that I will get threw it and come out to be the happy one...thank you all again and please keep writting...

[chini13 11]

Where their is too much of trust u have to pay the price of it.IF the guy do not bothers about you why do you think so much.There are many good people on this earth don't waste your time thinking on someone who already has moved on.You have to move on lead a busy happy life.Don't forget to learn a lesson from this beware the next time.We should not just fall for love but can't help it, it happens and we fall into it

[web_designer 7]

thank you everyone that has written something about this matter....I am going to let you all know that I have moved out and I am doing the single life for now...I need to get back on my feet and find myself again....and have fun doing it...its still hard to deal with but I know that I will get threw it and come out to be the happy one...thank you all again and please keep writting..

well done, i am really proud of you. i know it is a hard thing to do, but definitely it is the right thing for you and for your future. we shouldn't stick in our past, especially, when it is not worth, but we should learn from it and make sure not to repeat the same mistake again. 

hope you a happy new life, just focus on your goals in life, on what you want to do next and keep on going, and you will be fine, good luck.

[FoxGirl 0]

well more information about the matter which I have just found out about due to my ex making it a point to tell me and send me pictures about it...the 20 year old girl that he is engaged to is now pregnant with his child...Why is it when a couple breaks up one of them decides it is a must to rub things in the others face? But it is just another reason to move one and thank my lucky stars that it isn't me and that I didn't end up with him or pregnant.tell me what you think

[anwiii 17]

like i said in my previous post. just feel lucky you found out sooner than later.and like opaque said, don't go jumping in to another relationship because of loneliness or dispare. it's best to be by yourself right now because like chini said, you need to learn from this experienceeven the crappy experiences in life are good ones if we can learn from them. if we can't, we will just be holding on to the hurt, anger and bitterness with no closure.a word to the wise. you still have choices. cut off ALL communication with him or you are just setting yourself up to be hurt again. you don't need that right now. you are hurt enough! this guy sounds like a real jerk(to put it mildly)!

[sukhi 2]

well more information about the matter which I have just found out about due to my ex making it a point to tell me and send me pictures about it...the 20 year old girl that he is engaged to is now pregnant with his child...Why is it when a couple breaks up one of them decides it is a must to rub things in the others face? But it is just another reason to move one and thank my lucky stars that it isn't me and that I didn't end up with him or pregnant.
tell me what you think

this guy wants to make you sad by showing of his new "booty ". What you can do are 2 things :
1. You get a BF for yourself and show it off to him.
2. You go and congratulate him for getting a kid for himself with a nice greeting card.

Just try the second one and he will surely be getting nightmares after you do the second thing. He will be devastated. In such matters of intangibles , the best way is to make him feel that his actions have no effect on you and that you are still being a well - wisher and that you dont care 2 damn for this girl or his kid or his life. this I am suggesting only because he is trying to offend you with his new girl etc. He is evil and you need to show you are an angel. that would make him go crazy when he sleeps in the night and later on he will be repentant too.

All the best girl !

[web_designer 7]

GOD, you are really lucky to found out the truth and get rid of him, nothing worse than spending your life living in a lie. hope you learned a lot from such relationship so that in the future you can know better about people and how to deal with them. we all learn from our mistakes and experiences in life. now you should only focus on your future and move on, wish you luck.?

[mandla 0]

Wow. Thats really hurtfully girl. But that's life. I know you probably dont want to hear this kind of talk especially when your are hurting. But this guy is an idiot. He should not be doing this to you. But then you know life is there are people who will have a great thing going but just for some reason get greedy or blind to whats good and go astray. In this case to be honest I think the person who regrets more the decision to move on with other people is him not you. After all why is he sending you the pictures and updates. He's just trying to hurt you and rub it in so you react. He probably expected you to go all psycho on him and beg and cry but you probably handled it all to gracefully for his plans and now he is trying to rub it in and make sure you are fully aware to what extent things are so you can cry and beg and hurt. Such people have no self esteem and no dignity so you should not even waste your time on him. He is not regretting what he did and sayign he's sorry but he's trying to make sure you are hurt beyond repair so he will become immortal in your life. As you will always think of how badly he hurt you and how much pain he caused you. Obviously he didnt make much of an impression hence hes still trying to make one after he has left you. its wierd how he's already an expentent parent with a girl almost half his age and with only a month of dating her thats very quick even for shortgun marriages but hey. Sometimes the only way he will get over you is by doing a rebound relationship but then marriage is a major step. I bet you if he aint careful they will be divorcing soon. I mean they dont even know each other that well and the age thing comes into play, what if she wants to go out like other 20 year olds how long will he handle waiting at home while she gets high and snogs cute boys at the club. With you, it was a time thing were you both grew to tolerate each other and know each other. You understood what upset him and he knew how not to piss you off so it was commgfortable living in same house. but think of the first days how much compromise was there. and will a 20 year old be willing to make those same compromises. I say just keep busy go out with friends and keep busy on your work or Xisto forums just keep your mind off him and if he mails you, dont waste you empotions getting stressed thinking he's begging you back only to see pics of the baby scan or his new hussy, just delete them or better still block him from your inbox or facebuk just shut him out that way you will forget him easier.THis is just my opinion you decide at the end of the day what works for you dear. but the more you keep reading his mails the more everythign will just flood to the front of your brain including the pain. Its better to just block it all out and it will be easier to move on.

[mandla 0]

2. You go and congratulate him for getting a kid for himself with a nice greeting card

yeah this is a great idea. Get two greeting cards and send them to him. 1 for the 20 yr old kid and the other for the few weeks old kid to be born in future. lol. That would really get him worked up. right now he thinks he's in the control seat turn the tables around and say something mean to him. one thing that will totally wipe the smile of his face like . the only reason i stayed with you was because I was f**king your best friend or because the day you asked me out I was hoping your friend would make a move on me but he didn't so I settled for you instead.

And to be honest i secretly aborted of your babies because i could not bear to have a piece of you inside me for more than 5 minutes.
Edited June 25, 2010 by mandla (see edit history)

[anwiii 17]

yeah this is a great idea. Get two greeting cards and send them to him. 1 for the 20 yr old kid and the other for the few weeks old kid to be born in future. lol. That would really get him worked up. right now he thinks he's in the control seat turn the tables around and say something mean to him. one thing that will totally wipe the smile of his face like . the only reason i stayed with you was because I was f**king your best friend or because the day you asked me out I was hoping your friend would make a move on me but he didn't so I settled for you instead.
And to be honest i secretly aborted of your babies because i could not bear to have a piece of you inside me for more than 5 minutes.

that was cruel, mandla. she can do better than acting out in a way that hurts others.....