Why? Do People Have Be So Critical demeaning ,low insults ,feeling higher than another

[unwanted_flower 0]

Why do people have be so cruel towards other people?People are so controlling and critical in there words against others ,why do they behave this way ?does it make them feel there in control of issues or peoples lives ?that they can make people second guess there own way of thinking or demean in how they really feel inside themselves .Why do they ,state comments they know more than most when in fact there just as human as the next person and no one could ever understand or know another s feelings inside them .not even if you tried walking in there shoes .you just can not .you can assume you can ,truth is you can not .so certain people will intimidate another with wise words and be so critical and blaming and judging of another till points they weaken a persons mid and broke there spirit down and they can honestly control that person as a limp doll .you make a joke out a person .even ones they fall in love with ,they never become a equal partner in life standing beside them they are following behind them ,as that is place they keep them at all times under control with their witty wise words that demeans that person due to fact ,that person is love with them .then slowly breaking them down with always telling them they know them better than they know themselves and then making a persons mind 2nd guess there own self in judging themselves to points it becomes out control issues then that controlling person ,makes all believe something is wrong with them .when in truth all in all ,it was that controlling manner that placed them that way in first place ! normal that person is so well known and nice on out side ,that no one in there right mind would ever ,expect them controlling and demeaning against women ,it is when in private of there own home ,that ugliness comes out and rejection and the verbal abuse of being hurt and selfishly never every admitting how they hurt that person that probably started trails of them hurting them in first place .its all so insane when think about how people find strong need to control other people .and sweetly cover there handy work up and blame it on another .it all makes me sick to think how others find need to control others especially in relationships .why do people allow this to happen in there lives love them or not they need to be stopped and acknowledged what kind of harming people they really are and how sweet they are and will blame others for there own wrong doings as most likely the other will be out control screaming for it all to stop and the abuser will be back in back ground saying quietly see what i had to put up with ?it is wrong!stop it ..............

[anwiii 17]

you wrote this post in dedication of me. i should feel privlidged....but i dont :)i think you misunderstand me just like you misunderstand a lot of things that have NOTHING to do with love. don't let your emotions control you. they have no brains or mind to think.....love doesn't know didly....love is a reaction to what one is given to love. it's an emotion and it can be controlledwhat cannot be controlled is what is meant to be. love doesn't dictate that. YOU DO and HE DOES and WE ALL DO.....and a higher power. don't fight what you can't control. accept it and move on. make the choice to be a better person. you can hope others will do the same, but you can't ever control it...

[unwanted_flower 0]

you anwiii are mean and cruel and demeaning of all women I've noticed and seem to be someone that has to have deep control of all issues and relationships and all people without the control you would be the type that becomes selfish and hatred and depressed until you proved yourself correct in all issues or held strong need for someone to hear you or at least understand you in some small manner .those you do not understand ,you shut out your life .those that hurt you ,you remove from life .you can not understand beyond your way of truth .where is your truth coming from that is clueless there ,as truth comes in many shapes and forms with all attached reasons and explanations only closed minded fools hold one truth in explaining anything that may took place in life .there is many books out there explaining everything after meeting you ,who needs books lets just ask you for your truth and then live by it as golden .you would think this ,was all written about you ,as that song sings i bet you think this song is about you about you .i have to say sorry .it was written about people controlling others and being so low minded in being demeaning and deeply critical of others ,I am dearly sorry you may had some guilt about this topic anwiii.

[anwiii 17]

you say that books have been written to describe who i am. at the same time, in another thread, you said no books could be written to define someone. which is it, flower?you are hypocritical in your own words that you post. yea, i may be critical....but i am also loving. i don't love unconditional though as there are more people deserving than undeserving of my love. i have no time in my lifetime to play games. if people find me offensive, i have to agree and let them create their own path without my insight. as they are right and i am wrong in their eyes.and i guess you are always right.....but then why would you be seeking advice in a thread you created on a subject where you're bf needs his space. what do you not understand about that....someone who has her own mind and thoughts......

[unwanted_flower 0]

oh i ask for advice about something and i am punched by you ,replying t all my post afterward being your normal self ,that demeaning and down right cruel and critical in your cold heart statements at times .like i stated .before ,whom ever a woman in your own life ,you must to find fault with her and maybe you are pure critical with her too ,that blame and judge her cruelty and makes her weak and cry with your so called truths and wise words that you try to use on me and I do not appreciate or respect ,that controlling behavior towards me so please anwiii save it for your woman in your life ,i bet she takes it because she loves you ,that is way it starts .i do not mean be so sharp with y comments against you anwiii ,i am actually very happy person that loves plant life and nature and animals ,i just do not tolerate small minded people that lay heavy judgment down in demeaning women or men in this life .we all hold our own feelings and just as important as the next .when we ask for advice we take it in considerations to see any advice is helpful not to feel like we asked for something wrong or we are liars for even how we tried to communicate out in our way of words that do not fit your way of words .do not try make me feel uncomfortable in topics ,please save that for the woman in your life .maybe check see if this behavior i see in you and we never met ,by any chance same your woman may see if by any chance you have a woman .maybe i am wrong in assuming you do .although not wrong in my own assuming ,is she feeling shot down inside herself too in some ways that ,you labeled her wrong too .i see your age on here and see those that you befriend may i ask if you fell backwards in 2nd breath of your very own childhood ?

[anwiii 17]

when you asked for advice, i have to assume it wasn't just for you since i know everyone isn't perfect and i know that most likely your bf AND you made mistake. since you were the one posting, i had to make my opinion person to YOU. i don't regret my post as i feel i was dead on accurate even still. i AM sorry that you didn't get a response that you wanted to feel your own self......selfishly.i am blunt. i know people. yes, i have been hurt. i also HAVEN'T been hurt. i have felt both. like love and pain. i know how to answer your question truthfully according to what i know from personal experiences. i may have hurt you by my bluntness. but what you have to realize about yourself is that you cannot give hurt just because you are hurt. it does not help the situation. just like it doesn't help you to make the decision to NOT answer a phone call just because your bf doesn't answers you phone calls.i know you understand what i am saying even after you can be so cruel with your words. your choices dictate who you want to be at the time. not who you are. i understand that fact of life about others. how much love do you have towards you b/f? does understanding even play a part in your love?i am critical, yes. i am blunt. yes. there is no other way to be but truthfull. don't you agree?

[unwanted_flower 0]

in fact i bet you lean more towards a controlling area that you like to lead people on by stating how things stated deeply hurt you although with that spoken you will offer statement saying that you are not so selfish in self that ,you will allow that to hurt you ,again smooth player there in this topic in why people feel the strong need to be critical and demeaning others to gain such high control of another. all the time playing that soft well all around liked guy that does no wrong and gotten feelings hurt and letting others do your wrongs you chose not to be seen in being so manipulating against any one no! surely not ,you are not that type of critical person are you .demeaning others is making own self look good ,powerful in control ,being critical towards a truth only one person has ,like telling someone ,they look fat or write wrong or think wrong or act wrong ,till they start feel bad and each day 2nd guess themselves ,till they are unable to even think for themselves ,then controlling freak tosses them away ,to find another challenge .once again i am sorry this topic was never about you anwiii .i was just curious why people felt the strong need to control another by critical remarks or hurtfull words of truth that only hurts another .

[unwanted_flower 0]

controlling behavior only means they react out of fear ,unable to trust another only themselves .The fear becomes a form of being a bully to get there point across or controlling someone as they learned from experienes not to trust anyone from their own inside hurt they carry around like a weight ,they actually care alot about people although their own wise words of truth ,comes off in hurtful manner that makes others feel weaken by the input of being to critical and demeaning another till points it becomes a sheild of pain instead loving wise words of advice towards another or one you love .they really want to be understood and find that ,it seems no one even comes close to really understanding whom they are inside them or through their wise advice they share with others and do not ever mean really hurt anyone and it depresses them to really know there words do sometimes hurt others and you know no other means in being blunt and speaking except just being yourself and hope ,you do not get misunderstood .although i see you must be living 2nd wind of your child hood on internet here in differences of age groups i noticed here ,really stepping backwards i feel .i do dearly hope you consider to in knowing that ,you struggle to be understood there very well may be others that struggle to be understood and not judged or blamed as mistakes do not get ,placed without a reason ,people shall not become a bully unless a reasons ,everything has its place and reason to understand and far ,not by one set of truths .

[anwiii 17]

i respect your opinions, flower. you have a lot of truth you speak. you don't have to respect mine. i'm ok with that. when you ask for advice though and when you recieve what you think are negative opinions, i would suggest you think about the things other that what you know....or what you want......or what you need.....or what you believe in your own self.....selfishly.

[unwanted_flower 0]

anwiii that is where you are mistaken .i asked for advice yes .i am mature enough to weigh out that advice that comes to me ,through something use full and the young bs that holds no meaning to my life or needed advice .i respect your advice .truly i do .with high respect .at same time anwiii do not ever try tell anyone that ,you can see beyond someone ,inside someone unless you are prepared to meet someone in life that also can see beyond ,even through simple text and simple cross over ,energies that are given off ,that goes beyond any understanding this forum cares to seek out or understand .at same time for some reason i offer you respect and credit ,as i feel you do see beyond ,where others do not ,at same time it went to your head ,life offers each of us a gift inside our selves ,it is up to each of us to be wise enough to use it with respect of others not selfishly for our own personal gains in our own insecure feelings .i am not just some weird apple in this world i come from some long line of family members that ,hold many gifts and many wise areas in seeing beyond many faces of different people ,there is a divine truth in everything anwiii .many people will disagree with my words i do not care what many people dislike or like about me ,i know myself and know sometimes i get confused in arts of love and relationships ,although i am human .i feel some way you have experienced something deeper in your life that ,you search for answers and help in understanding what affects you in your own struggles and allows you come off so hard when in fact ,you care way to much .the hurt instilled inside you is to much to cope and understand and you struggle for some self realizations to guide you to being opened minded to understand .when or ever a need to talk ,you should contac me and maybe we can take this on personal level that is a choice on your own here .i know i asked for advice on my boyfriend .i love my man ,would do anything for him although i find myself at loss for words too .i am struggling in knowing who i am and where i came from and how much i can reveal to one i love and finding myself in a pickle here in life and relationships and not able to come clean ,in this matter it boggles my mind in knowing what to do .last resorts allowed me to ask for advice in a area i did not assume anyone could ever help or understand as i could not once again revel the truth in who i am in life .though the man that loves me has to understand he just has too believe i am not on your butt and do know i am as stubborn as a mule and to point of everything ,gets me in trouble ,many times i hope i never allowed you feel hurt by my own words as i hope i can face not feeling hurt by your words i just felt and saw something beyond your words you typed and it bothered me i am only assuming you might understand maybe i am only assuming i will know when you reply there are only a few of us left in this world that could understand the words i type here .maybe you are one of those few left ?

[anwiii 17]

you asked for advice, yes. you never asked for mine. no. but i gave it. i responded with bluntness and openess. i gave advice in what you BOTH can do to save your relationship. i understand my advice isn't perfect.....but i do understand it's better than what you and your b/f is going through RIGHT NOW. i also understand that you are stubborn and want to discredit me and my name here. i understand you have another objective that to seek advice and i called you on it. you because evil and destructive in everything you had to say about me. that's ok. i don't regret my advice. you seem to hate it with a vengence. that's ok too.....because i am one to guide.....not make choices for you. you can disagree with me b.s. guidance and you can live the way you are already living without any change in it. but expect the same confusion you still have with your b/f if you're that stubborn.

results come from choices we make and we make different choices based on what we learn from the past and our past choices. when someone makes the same choices in life, despite the results, they should expect the same results despite what the really want in life. don't blame me if you are unable to do anything about the results in your own life...because you will ALWAYS have a choice!

anwiii that is where you are mistaken .i asked for advice yes .
i am mature enough to weigh out that advice that comes to me ,through something use full and the young bs that holds no meaning to my life or needed advice .

i respect your advice .
truly i do .
with high respect .

at same time anwiii do not ever try tell anyone that ,you can see beyond someone ,inside someone unless you are prepared to meet someone in life that also can see beyond ,even through simple text and simple cross over ,energies that are given off ,that goes beyond any understanding this forum cares to seek out or understand .

at same time for some reason i offer you respect and credit ,as i feel you do see beyond ,where others do not ,at same time it went to your head ,life offers each of us a gift inside our selves ,it is up to each of us to be wise enough to use it with respect of others not selfishly for our own personal gains in our own insecure feelings .

i am not just some weird apple in this world i come from some long line of family members that ,hold many gifts and many wise areas in seeing beyond many faces of different people ,there is a divine truth in everything anwiii .

many people will disagree with my words i do not care what many people dislike or like about me ,i know myself and know sometimes i get confused in arts of love and relationships ,although i am human .

i feel some way you have experienced something deeper in your life that ,you search for answers and help in understanding what affects you in your own struggles and allows you come off so hard when in fact ,you care way to much .

the hurt instilled inside you is to much to cope and understand and you struggle for some self realizations to guide you to being opened minded to understand .

when or ever a need to talk ,you should contac me and maybe we can take this on personal level that is a choice on your own here .

i know i asked for advice on my boyfriend .
i love my man ,would do anything for him although i find myself at loss for words too .
i am struggling in knowing who i am and where i came from and how much i can reveal to one i love and finding myself in a pickle here in life and relationships and not able to come clean ,in this matter it boggles my mind in knowing what to do .

last resorts allowed me to ask for advice in a area i did not assume anyone could ever help or understand as i could not once again revel the truth in who i am in life .

though the man that loves me has to understand he just has too believe

i am not on your butt and do know i am as stubborn as a mule and to point of everything ,gets me in trouble ,many times
i hope i never allowed you feel hurt by my own words as i hope i can face not feeling hurt by your words

i just felt and saw something beyond your words you typed and it bothered me
i am only assuming you might understand

maybe i am only assuming
i will know when you reply

there are only a few of us left in this world that could understand the words i type here .

maybe you are one of those few left ?

[kobra500 1]

In the first couple of paragraphs you seem to be saying people cannot put themselves into other people shoes enough to make the right decision but in reality much of the time you are better, much better to be out of your own shoes, unbias and uncorrupted. Take this issue, your friend wants to drop out of college, there's only 5 months or so left before the end of the course and he could walk away with a qualification, so I was critical of him. I told him, what are you doing you wasted all this time on the course and now you want to drop it, you've done all that work. Now he wants to drop out of his course because he's not enjoying it but sometimes in life you have to do things you don't want to, it's in the job description, he shouldn't drop out its a waste of time for him to do so, he should stick it out, get the qualification, go to university. But don't you see? Because I'm not doing to course, I have no opinion on the course I can offer him a objective viewpoint compared to his primarily subjective opinion. If you do wrong you aren't likely to notice yourself, until someone points it out: Is critical of you. No you can't put yourself in others shoe's but people over react and therefore, being outside of there shoes is where you ought to be.As for the rest you discuss a different issue, where you are talking about breaking down people, I was merely adding about constructive criticism. For the rest I will simply say that there are people out there who try to control others, they enjoy it, they would be harmless if it weren't for how many people get drawn into it. Put under the thumb etc.

Edited January 17, 2010 by kobra500 (see edit history)

[knoppixusr 0]

I think people who show this kind of behavior all the time have what is called an Authoritarian Personality.
Authoritarianism is basically the abuse of power and in my experience it is best to avoid people with this kind of personality.
Someone with an authoritarian personality does not want to give orders, And they are very intolerant of anything they do not consider normal. They also have a strong sense of things being either 100 percent right their way or 100 percent wrong, not their way. Sometimes they lack the ability to place them selfs in an other person's shoes. Often they are anxious of other people and distrust them, they tend to be very superstitious and give credit to folktales or interpretations of history that fit their preexisting definitions of reality. As i said before it's best to ignore them completely, because once you get into an argument with one of them , they will force you to stoop to their pitiful level of childlike argumentativeness and sometimes even circular reasoning.

Why do people have be so cruel towards other people?
People are so controlling and critical in there words against others ,why do they behave this way ?
does it make them feel there in control of issues or peoples lives ?
that they can make people second guess there own way of thinking or demean in how they really feel inside themselves .

Why do they ,state comments they know more than most when in fact there just as human as the next person and no one could ever understand or know another s feelings inside them .
not even if you tried walking in there shoes .
you just can not .

you can assume you can ,truth is you can not .

so certain people will intimidate another with wise words and be so critical and blaming and judging of another till points they weaken a persons mid and broke there spirit down and they can honestly control that person as a limp doll .

you make a joke out a person .

even ones they fall in love with ,they never become a equal partner in life standing beside them they are following behind them ,as that is place they keep them at all times under control with their witty wise words that demeans that person due to fact ,that person is love with them .

then slowly breaking them down with always telling them they know them better than they know themselves and then making a persons mind 2nd guess there own self in judging themselves to points it becomes out control issues then that controlling person ,makes all believe something is wrong with them .

when in truth all in all ,it was that controlling manner that placed them that way in first place !

normal that person is so well known and nice on out side ,that no one in there right mind would ever ,expect them controlling and demeaning against women ,it is when in private of there own home ,that ugliness comes out and rejection and the verbal abuse of being hurt and selfishly never every admitting how they hurt that person that probably started trails of them hurting them in first place .

its all so insane when think about how people find strong need to control other people .
and sweetly cover there handy work up and blame it on another .

it all makes me sick to think how others find need to control others especially in relationships .

why do people allow this to happen in there lives love them or not they need to be stopped and acknowledged what kind of harming people they really are and how sweet they are and will blame others for there own wrong doings as most likely the other will be out control screaming for it all to stop and the abuser will be back in back ground saying quietly

see what i had to put up with ?

it is wrong!
stop it ..............

[unwanted_flower 0]

well i have to agree with many of you ,it is best to avoid many people that are controlling and try to be 100% right all the time or 100% wrong not on their part though .it is though draining emotionally draining to be living with or surrounded with ,someone that has a demeaning critical view even on life and all that surrounds them .They begin to know much more than doctors ,teachers ,parents ,any one that may seem any form authority figure and most of all they tend to grow even to big for themselves too .only form of life they hold is offering advice to others ,they feel some how they can mold in certain manner ,that does not become emotionally draining for others or themselves ..thank you for some of your replies and advice .

[Tsukimoon 0]

Some are controlling because they are trying to help you. Like perhaps your parents did when they didn't want you to overeat candy. They didn't want you to end up sick with diabetes or a tummy ache.Others are controlling because they think they know what's best for you and are trying to make sure you understand this. Remember the pushy Christian/Catholic/Jehova Witness that is trying to recruit you? They are a good example. Maybe what works for them doesn't work for you and they can't understand it.Others just don't know how to research their opinions and don't know research is necessary to make sure one is right. They then push what they know, unaware that there may be a study that says otherwise and has proven them wrong. But ignorance is bliss, right?