Just A Couple Questions For You Guys my LDR

[user681 0]

So ..3 months ago ..I met this really gorgeous girl on a cruiseShe was really nice and we really liked each other anyway, she lives really far away from where I live and she told me she wanted a long distance relationship.because I loved her so much, I said yes ..everything was fine until recently. she started questioning and saying that " I don't know what happened but I don't feel the same way as I used to "I was pretty dissappointed when she said that , but I pretty much know the relationship was prone to failure before it even started :/so my question is..to you guyssince me and her have just broken up..should I bother keeping a friendship with her?I don't know if I should just be a *BLEEP* to her.. she's been a real *BLEEP* recentlybut whenever I think of the night where me and her met and how we met I just feel kinda sad and hopes that maybe she'd feel the same way again..

[clintovsina 0]

whats the point youll never see her again just forget about her she old meat prob gerrin sc***ed by some other guy already

[mahesh2k 0]

One question you loved her thinking that she lived nearby ? she is close to you ? If so, you're not in love. That is just attraction. Love is something that even if you're are far away from your loved ones you don't need to stay close to stay in their heart. Only relation with weak base requires constant touch in order to maintain freshness in relation. In such cases such relations won't go much further. There are people who live miles apart from each other cause of work and see each other once in year in holidays or in rarely in month or so. Still they're happy. If this is not your way of thinking. Then atleast maintain friendship. Friendship helps both sides for mental support(a feeling that says there is someone if we fall). Even if she refuses you can be a good friend and stick with her as good friend, help her when she needs or not. If you want to start any good relationship start with friendship.

[user681 0]

One question you loved her thinking that she lived nearby ? she is close to you ? If so, you're not in love. That is just attraction. Love is something that even if you're are far away from your loved ones you don't need to stay close to stay in their heart. Only relation with weak base requires constant touch in order to maintain freshness in relation. In such cases such relations won't go much further. There are people who live miles apart from each other cause of work and see each other once in year in holidays or in rarely in month or so. Still they're happy.
If this is not your way of thinking. Then atleast maintain friendship. Friendship helps both sides for mental support(a feeling that says there is someone if we fall). Even if she refuses you can be a good friend and stick with her as good friend, help her when she needs or not. If you want to start any good relationship start with friendship.

haha yeah I didn't think I "loved" her ..it was more like I really liked her

oh well, I'll see how it goes and then find out if she's worthy keeping a friendship

[iwuvcookies 0]

I had a relationship like that once. It didn't work out too good. We both had met in high school and were going strong for three years. Then it came to point where we weren't going to the same college. She would be going out of state and I would be a local community college. We both agreed to be in a long distance relationship. We had weird schedules and some days we couldn't talk to each other. Someones nights maybe a few minutes of talking. But that didn't cut it. We had our own separate lives to attend to. Work and school for me and she was a chemistry major and you know how that is. In the end it didn't work out. We were both young people in "love" wanting to be by each others side but that has passed. Were both kinda different as we have figured out during the separation in distance. Its more work to keep up with someone long distance. I think its for the better. Anyways I think you should only keep her as a friend for now. If its becoming a problem in your life thinking about her constantly than maybe its better just to let her go all together. There's plenty of people out there that you can have a connection with. Maybe at the moment you can't find one and there's no rush. You have a whole life ahead of you.

[Spyda 0]

So ..3 months ago ..I met this really gorgeous girl on a cruiseShe was really nice and we really liked each other
anyway, she lives really far away from where I live and she told me she wanted a long distance relationship.
because I loved her so much, I said yes ..
everything was fine until recently. she started questioning and saying that " I don't know what happened but I don't feel the same way as I used to "

I was pretty dissappointed when she said that , but I pretty much know the relationship was prone to failure before it even started :/

so my question is..to you guys

since me and her have just broken up..should I bother keeping a friendship with her?
I don't know if I should just be a *BLEEP* to her.. she's been a real *BLEEP* recently
but whenever I think of the night where me and her met and how we met I just feel kinda sad and hopes that maybe she'd feel the same way again..

Before I go on and answer your question of "Should I continue being friends with her" let me go on the radar and discuss long distance relationships. Sorry to break it to you, but most of the time... THEY DON'T WORK. One of the keys to attraction is proximity (the distance away from your partner.) A very high percentage of people marry those who are around 5-8 miles of them. Keeping in close contact will keep the attraction going. If you lose that proximity, the attractiveness will diminish (you may still be attracted, but because you do not have many other options. She most likely does.) My advice is don't try long term relationships. Sure, some do work, but it's a very low percentage.

Now, on to your question of whether or not you should be friends with her. I say, just ignore her. Don't be a jerk to her, don't be mean or whatever, just completely ignore and leave her out of your life. Go out, find some other girls and and forget about this one. SHE WILL NEVER REGAIN ATTRACTION TO YOU. I know that may be hard to swallow, but there are so many awesome women out there that are 100% better then this one. Go out and try to find them
Edited October 22, 2009 by bk2070 (see edit history)

[user681 0]

Before I go on and answer your question of "Should I continue being friends with her" let me go on the radar and discuss long distance relationships. Sorry to break it to you, but most of the time... THEY DON'T WORK. One of the keys to attraction is proximity (the distance away from your partner.) A very high percentage of people marry those who are around 5-8 miles of them. Keeping in close contact will keep the attraction going. If you lose that proximity, the attractiveness will diminish (you may still be attracted, but because you do not have many other options. She most likely does.) My advice is don't try long term relationships. Sure, some do work, but it's a very low percentage.
Now, on to your question of whether or not you should be friends with her. I say, just ignore her. Don't be a jerk to her, don't be mean or whatever, just completely ignore and leave her out of your life. Go out, find some other girls and and forget about this one. SHE WILL NEVER REGAIN ATTRACTION TO YOU. I know that may be hard to swallow, but there are so many awesome women out there that are 100% better then this one. Go out and try to find them

I pretty much knew the relationship was doomed from the start but meh..idk why but I just went for it anyhow
:/

It's not so much as the attraction..its more like she was the one i'd go to and talk to whenever I have problems or feel lonely youknow?
I feel more like I've lost a really really good friend

[Me_89 0]

Dont bother being friends with her. Dont contact her..theres no point. You'll forget about her quicker and easier this way.

[missy2205 0]

Based on the vents that you have discribed, I'd say this relationship is done and dusted. You need to accept its over and move on this girl has finsihed using you and wanted a clean get away and a nice way of telling you i have found something more real and less imaginary like what we have here or rather what we had before. I was recently involved in a long distance realtionship with a guy in Australiasia and he was treating me like a trophy, he never loved me he just played me and a few other girls it took good advice from some people on KS to help me make a decision. Its only been a couple days that I left this guy and for me it quite hard to cope with it but I know Im doing the right thing. As for you, you need to realise that sometimes something is good for a while just like chewing gum the sweetness lasts for a while but then after a little while you get a sore jaw and you want to spit the piece of gum out. Same with relationship when you first tasted the relationship it was juicy and sweet and you both felt the right sep would be to get together and officially become a couple. But with time every relationship will stop being about that good feeling from the first night or first meeting to things more realistic like compatibility and locallity. Probably your girl started realising that she wanted a physical relationship where she could get physicall and sexual attention which can not be recieved in a long distance or internet based relationship. There are a lot of factors which affect the decision to break up a relationship. Mostly its realistic factors not just simple things that are hard to understand like I just dont feel it anymore. As simple as that statement is, we all know how hard to understand or comprehend that ambiguous statement its not you its me.In my view I'd hopefully say move on. Dont be a *BLEEP* cause thats giving her attention still. I say just completely wipe her out of you thoughts blick her from your email, IM, skype and Facebook cause the less you hear or see of her the better and qicker your recovery will be. Remembe the old adage Out of Sight out of Mind. Basically the less you see of her or read from or about her then the higher the chance of forgeting her and moving on. There is lots of other thing one can do to keep busy like being on these forums it all takes away the stress of thinking about her and remebering all the sweet good things you all did together. Just keep yourself busy and run away from those blues music or slow rnb tracks that only talk about missing a lover or a lover who has left.Good luck buddy