Don't Know What To Do

[miss.cute55 0]

Hi I am rozan I am 18 and

I am not good in holding in a relationship I think my BF is cheating on me we use to talk like 3 hours a day now we talk 10 -15 mint I do not know maybe he is busy but in other hand he changed a lot I think there is another girl but I am not sure some times I feel like I am the only one in his life and some time I feel the opposite I am confused this is my first please tell me what to do or any advice

thanks

[anwiii 17]

i like to follow my gut instincts in things. just remember this. in good and healthy relationship, there has to be trust. if there is no trust, there is no relationship. by you just asking the question you did, there is no trust, thus, no relationship. so, in order to have a healthy one, you both need to be open and honest with eachother. tell him what is on your mind and ask the questions you need answers to to ease your mind. if you don't, the relationship will just go downhill from here. just remember though. if a guy is cheating on you, it's for the best in the sense that you want to weed out all the scumbags to get to the good ones.

 

btw- just because he is spending less time with you doesn't mean he's cheating. i never saw that written in any rule book anywhere but if you sense something is wrong, there probably is....whether it's him cheating, he doesn't love you anymore, him wanting his space or hanging out with his friends more, etc....

 

how old are you???

 

Hi I am rozan I am 18 and

I am not good in holding in a relationship I think my BF is cheating on me we use to talk like 3 hours a day now we talk 10 -15 mint I do not know maybe he is busy but in other hand he changed a lot I think there is another girl but I am not sure some times I feel like I am the only one in his life and some time I feel the opposite I am confused this is my first please tell me what to do or any advice

thanks

[harrison858 0]

Hi I am rozan I am 18 and

I am not good in holding in a relationship I think my BF is cheating on me we use to talk like 3 hours a day now we talk 10 -15 mint I do not know maybe he is busy but in other hand he changed a lot I think there is another girl but I am not sure some times I feel like I am the only one in his life and some time I feel the opposite I am confused this is my first please tell me what to do or any advice

thanks

Maybe you should ask him what is on his mind, and why he's spent less time with you. You should be able to tell if he's lying or not, because they get defensive most of the time. Ask him from within.

 

If he IS cheating on you, the best way is to just forget about him and move on. If you feel that sometimes he is with you 100%, but at other times he is the oppisote, then chances are this relationship would not last long unless he has a good reason for it.

 

Do you two argue a lot or everything seems fine?

 

how old are you???

Answer:

Hi I am rozan I am 18 and

Edited July 6, 2009 by harrison858 (see edit history)

[kobra500 1]

Despite the fact I fear I am walking into a giant Clich? you have two choices, you break it off because you obviously are working, or if you prefer to fix it you can talk to your boyfriend, don't say you think he's cheating on you because if is untrue then that will end your relationship but talk about how you feel and your feelings on the relationship, but to be honest I can tell, you are young, and if you suspend ending your relationship, you will only be stressed and unhappy and its going to end anyway. So yeah, I'm not really into giving relationship advice but this was so simply its unbelievable, anyway hope this helps.

[anwiii 17]

i disagree 100% in not telling her boyfriend the 100% truth in how she's feelings. wether her insecurities are warranted or not, if she wants a healthy relationship, she wants to be in a relationship with someone who can be truthfull and honest to her as well. it works both ways. she also wants to be ain a relationship where she's with someone who can sympothise with how she's feeling, understand it, and either admits he's cheating or comforts her to make all her worries go away because what she was feeling was untrue. if a woman feels she is getting less attention than before, they get insucure. they have a need to be loved more and more which will create a more secure feeling. she needs to be truthfull to expect the truth in return. hiding the truth or feelings only to let them fester is the same as lying in my book and to base a relationship on things like that is to doom the relationship in the end.

the key to being honest, is to communicate in a way he will understand. you will need to sort through your feelings, understand them your own self, and THEN be able to communicate them in a way HE will understand. easier said than done. something good to practice now, no matter how hard since chances are, this wont be the last relationship you'll be in. all relationship should be a learning tool for the future. all of them have something positive to gain from it. so always be honest with yourself and those you choose to be with. remember...you are CHOOSING to be with this person...so you also have the choice to be honest or not and know what dishonesty does(maybe you don't yet). it festers inside a person where they become more and more empty and irritable where eventually that person wil explode with so much emotion that nobody will ever quite understand hahaha even if it's truthfull in how one feels. it took that person 1 year or two to explode....but to also understand how she was feeling for that year or two. to pile all of that tension up on one person all at once and expect them to understand anything is naive.....so yes....honesty is key. being truthfull is key....and communicating in a way where the other person can understand what you are trying to say. practice practice practice. there is always a right and wrong way. most learn by doing it the wrong way until they know better

Despite the fact I fear I am walking into a giant Cliché you have two choices, you break it off because you obviously are working, or if you prefer to fix it you can talk to your boyfriend, don't say you think he's cheating on you because if is untrue then that will end your relationship but talk about how you feel and your feelings on the relationship, but to be honest I can tell, you are young, and if you suspend ending your relationship, you will only be stressed and unhappy and its going to end anyway. So yeah, I'm not really into giving relationship advice but this was so simply its unbelievable, anyway hope this helps.

[miss.cute55 0]

thanks all for the advicei will try to be hounset with him and tell him how i feelso wich me luck

[miss.cute55 0]

Do you two argue a lot or everything seems fine?the last time we argue was 2 weeks agobut the last time i told him " if i am not good engh for u just leave me " he was so mde that i told him soand he told me if i said that agin maybe he will not control him self and he will tell me fine i will leave u.tell me if i am wrong " he well not say that entell he have another girl or why he will tell me that ???"right???

[kobra500 1]

Right, I disagree with what I said, Honesty really is better, so I guess I agree with anwiii, however I feel that judging from your reply that, your relationship is broken, that you just aren't right for each other, you may disagree, but it is just my opinion, but Judging from limited information that is my suggestion, theres plenty more fish in the sea.

[Gazeekoo 0]

but the last time i told him " if i am not good engh for u just leave me " he was so mde that i told him soand he told me if i said that agin maybe he will not control him self and he will tell me fine i will leave u.

Alright. First of all, no one should ever say "leave me if I'm not good enough". Never ever.
Other than the obvious low self-esteem issue, it also gives the other person ideas.

Now, maybe it's just me, but nothing makes me reconsider a relationship quite like frequent attempts to "analyse the relationship". But that is another thing.

tell me if i am wrong " he well not say that entell he have another girl or why he will tell me that ???"right???

It certainly looks like the guy is not as interested as he used to be. But relationships don't end just because of someone else. Maybe he just wants to spend some more time on himself. Isn't that what guys go on about in movies and tv shows. Knocked Up comes to mind immediately
Um, judging by your post, I would suggest giving him his space for some time and if things don't improve, move on.
Who knows, distance might make the heart go fonder.
All the best.