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What Do You Think About Suicide? Cowardice Or Courage I had fantasies with it a years ago.

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What do you think about Suicide?


A years ago I had fantasies with my suicide. Do you think that I was crazy? Maybe.


My girlfriend let me. A jerk start to be her new man I was totally jealous, I admit it. I tried almost everything to gain her love again, but nothing got results.


That let me in an depressive state. I tried to date with other girls but although some of them were prettiest that my ex-girlfriend I couldn?t forget her.


Almost all the time in the day I spent thinking on her.


I start to have fantasies. My first fantasy was kill to his new boyfriend. I bought a water gun and I spent hours imagining that I kill him. I imagined that I got enter to his house in the night and I kill him with a machete.


I imagined that I kill him in the school, in the school bus, in the cafeteria...


But some day I found him in a store and I was decided to make my play and give him a lesson. I started to provocate him and I hit it in his face. But he returned to me and hit me with a chair and I get knocked.


My parents had to take me to the hospital...


I thought that my ex-girlfriend after that would be sad about me and she will come to see me to the hospital.


But these days were a nightmare. Everybody in the school start to say that I am a *****, that I was a girl!!!! That my girlfriend let me because discovered that i am GAY.


That was a completely nigthmare I fell in a deep depressive state...


I wanted to kill myself.


I started to get fantasies about my suicide... I wrote a suicide letter.


I was planning my suicide when my parents wrote my letter.


They inmediately took me to a psyquiatric hospital where i was 8 months, It was awful but It was great at the sametime...because they helped me a lot.


After that year I think that i had the courage for kill myself.


I am totally new man, I?m healthy now.


But I am now asking me that kill yourself is have COURAGE OR BE A COWARD?





Edited by fermin25 (see edit history)

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it's a really tough call... there was a time where i was definitely on the verge and luckily came back from that brink. i don't know that i would go so far as to call it cowardice based on the fact that it's tough to know what that person went through. i feel sorry in a sense, that they didn't see/experience a better way... at least enough to give them another option. i certainly wouldn't call it courage, unless we're talking something like the end scene in "grand torino", a pre-meditated death that will essentially save the lives of others.i simply view it as the end of the line. when one has no further options (or at least, none that they can see)... they sometimes choose that route. i've dealt with those thoughts within myself (though it has been a very long time since i last felt that way) and i've buried a few friends who took that route. i would never condemn someone i suppose, i simply hope that they found the peace they were looking for.

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