Do You Ever Feel Like You're Being Used?

[jaychant 0]

One thing that sucks about being a nerd is that people tend to use you... a lot. This is because they feel that you can do it yourself, because you're smart. This is one thing I really hate. Why can't people understand that I don't want to do all the work myself just because I'm a nerd?

 

Here's a real-life example I can pull out of my hat: My former lab group in Science just wouldn't ever do anything AT ALL. They would just leave me to do all the work, while they would go off and talk to friends. When I just couldn't do it, they wouldn't help until the last minute. I was so fed up with this, but I didn't leave the group. But one day, I had to work at a different lab group (teacher's order). So when I finished, I thought I'd go over just to talk to them. when I got there, one of the guys was already asking me what they needed to do. I wasn't bothered and told them, but then he asked me to do it for them, and when I said no, he said, "Why are you here?" This wouldn't have bothered me if he was laughing, but there was a serious tone to his voice. It gave me a very strong impression that the only reason he wanted me in his group was to use me.

 

One thing I can say for sure is that girls don't seem to use people as much as guys. I don't know why, but it seems to be the way it works.

 

Actually, there's a kid in my Science class who seems to hate everyone. I think I can see why; because he is used A LOT. Nothing hurts like being used.

 

I'm talking about being used to do work, but I think this topic would also be appropriate for other ways people might be used (like making someone jealous).

[Albus Dumbledore 0]

I feel sorry for you, really. LolI don't ever feel like I'm being used, because i never let myself fall into a situation like that. If I'm forced to be in a group (even though i prefer to work alone) if the people I'm working with aren't doing their part in the group, then i either tell the teacher that they aren't doing anything, and that they're just off talking to friends leaving you to do the work. If the teacher didn't do anything i would go to the next step which would be visiting my old friend the principal. And yes, i would snitch on them. Basically you just have to be able to make sacrifices in your high school life, fail science class, or have 5 people in the class hate me. You have to weigh your pro's and con's and make a decision. If you think that these people are your friends and you'd be afraid of losing them, you are greatly mistaken in that thought. They aren't your friends, they are using you to get them a grade in the class, they just make you think they are your friends so they can pass and then be done with you.You have to keep yourself from being put in situations where people can use you like that.This topic also kind of goes to the 'know it all' topic you posted earlier, as i stated there, it all deals with how you let yourself off to people around you. When you sit there and do nothing but allow the group to take you over and do their work like that, in the rare occasion that they actually talk to you, you present yourself as a smart well rounded person, who knows a little bit of everything, so they will come back to you and keep coming back to you for help, or to use you, in the future.I find that the girls at my school use people allot more than guys, but that could be because I'm in California and most the girls are preppy and most the guys are some-what normal.

Edited April 27, 2009 by Albus Dumbledore (see edit history)

[sheepdog 10]

People can only use you if you allow yourself to be used. I generally try to avoid this type of situation, and I can tell you, as you get older and hopefully wiser, it gets easier to see it coming. But it doesn't always work.My problem is the "karma" thing. I feel that I should try to help people, that it is the right thing to do, and even though the person you try to help may end up burning your butt one way or another, you can honestly say you tried to help, and what goes around comes around, and in the long run you will be better off for trying to help someone than to not do whatever you could of done to help them. Your science lab partners are no doubt taking advantage of you. And if you think about it, your not really doing them any favors by doing all the work. They aren't learning anything, except how to take advange of people, and if you are smarter than them, you don't need the practise and education as bad as they do. So take the advice of the gambler, Kenney Rodgers, know when to hold 'em know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run. Run from your lab partners, and find another group that appreciates your efforts, and will share in the responsibilities of the work.

[jaychant 0]

Your science lab partners are no doubt taking advantage of you. And if you think about it, your not really doing them any favors by doing all the work. They aren't learning anything, except how to take advange of people, and if you are smarter than them, you don't need the practise and education as bad as they do. So take the advice of the gambler, Kenney Rodgers, know when to hold 'em know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run. Run from your lab partners, and find another group that appreciates your efforts, and will share in the responsibilities of the work.

Yeah, I've already decided a couple weeks ago that I can never consider someone a friend unless they are a nerd. Like I said, I already left the group and now I tend to work with a kid who actually helps.

 

If I'm forced to be in a group (even though i prefer to work alone) if the people I'm working with aren't doing their part in the group, then i either tell the teacher that they aren't doing anything, and that they're just off talking to friends leaving you to do the work. If the teacher didn't do anything i would go to the next step which would be visiting my old friend the principal. And yes, i would snitch on them.

As for me, my method is different: refuse to help them. Whenever someone lets you do all the work without lifting a finger, you can tell they aren't going to help, and that's when I do the exact same thing. It works; they see that you aren't doing anything and start doing the lab by themselves. And since I do well at tests, failing the lab won't hurt my grade.

 

I find that the girls at my school use people allot more than guys, but that could be because I'm in California and most the girls are preppy and most the guys are some-what normal.

I think it's an inverse effect: All the guys at my school are extremely lazy and let others do everything for them, so naturally the girls end up doing things for them. Because of this, the girls tend to be more helpful than the guys.

[x CriiTiiCaL HiiT x 0]

LOL I actually used to be used.. I'm pretty much one of the smartest people in my class. I used to do all the work in the groups I would be in, but ever since I became lazy (this school year) other people pretty much do the work for me and they get pretty pissed because of the fact that I'm smarter than them and I have more potential but they're doing the work ^^ TAKE THAT. Basically, that's my revenge.. but sometimes you're with people who do NOTHING at all and don't actually care about their mark. When you have those partners, you should cry and do the work

[Albus Dumbledore 0]

As for me, my method is different: refuse to help them. Whenever someone lets you do all the work without lifting a finger, you can tell they aren't going to help, and that's when I do the exact same thing. It works; they see that you aren't doing anything and start doing the lab by themselves. And since I do well at tests, failing the lab won't hurt my grade.

Refusing to help them is good, so long as the teacher doesn't grade your groups work as one grade. Meaning one person gets an A they all get A's. Because if that were the case, if you refused to help them in a seance you aren't doing your own work, and failing yourself and if you do your work, but the teacher grades separately, then they fail and you pass.

 

Yeah, I've already decided a couple weeks ago that I can never consider someone a friend unless they are a nerd. Like I said, I already left the group and now I tend to work with a kid who actually helps.

Good idea! lol I do hope, and i'm sure you do, but i do hope that if you come across someone whose not a nerd, but is still a cool person you will befriend them. Always good to have a wide variety of friends