Sometimes, Parents Are A Gift

[anwiii 17]

i just posted in another thread about my parents in some ways. i want to further explain what my parents mean to me.i was always raised with good morals and values. i was also raised going to church every week until i was about 17. i was raised by parents that believed schooling and learning was important and furthering education in college was important. i was raised that after college that getting a good stable job with benefits was important and eventually marrying the right woman and having kids was important. basically my parents believed in the american dream and the standards of which society dictates for everyone. an idea that is far from bad, but an idea that could limit others who have their own purpose in life when other peoples beliefs and how we are raised become a distraction.my dad went to work every day without calling in sick but 3-4 times in 40 years where he is now retired from being a stock broker. i think he was averaging over 100k a year. i remember a long time ago him telling me that he either wanted to become a stock broker or a forest ranger. to this day, i know what job would have been more fullfilling to him and it wasn't making 100k as a stock broker. it would have been making 1/3 of that as a forest ranger. i know why he chose his other profession. he didn't do it for himself. he did it for his wife and his future kids he would eventually have so that he can provide in big ways for his family. he also taught us that if we want something, we need to work for it rather than it just be given to you.my mom, before she had kids, was a school teacher....and after she had kids, became a substitute teacher part time. i even met some of her students that attended the same junior high and high school i attended. when they found out who my mother was, she was given high recognition as a teacher....even as a substitute teacher(that is rare when students rarely respect substitutes) and i found myself in a light i didn't expect. but it felt good. seemed i was liked more just because of my mother and it also felt good that my mother was good at what she did.my dad was a providor and later included me in things where a father and son relationship could grow. taking fishing trips together as he taught me how to flyfish and experiencing nature in the most remote areas and wilderness. my mom showed love and nurturing. something that was just nutural inside her that she shared with her kids.although i disagreed with them alot and their expectations and guiding me in ways i refused to go and be guided in, later in life we came to an understanding and i recieved support from parents that i never would have expected in a million years growing up. their expectations slowly changed from being guided and living a certain way to just being happyi am 40 years old now. my parents are almost in their 70's. i love my parents. i couldn't have asked for better ones even when life seemed like CRAP as a teenager sometimes when i had to live by their rules and expectations. they raised me the best way they knew how and knowing me, it was more than just a full time job :)i hope one day i can give back everything they offered me. maybe i have already in some ways but they will always deserve more. they raised three kids and sacrificed a big part of their own lives just to be parents. i'm sure being parents back then wasn't easy and sometimes not even rewarding or fullfilling. i hope they can sit back in their not so young age anymore and realize what they actually did and accomplished and know they raised 3 children who are far from alike, but will always have a piece of their parents inside them including the goodness and the morals and values we were raised with.

[Bluebear 0]

Everyone should love their parents. Some do not because of various reasons, but there are so many parents in this world that spend all their time, energy and money into a child. When setting a child into this world they should, but they do spend a lot of their life on us. Their parents used time at them, they used time at us and so it goes on and on...Let me tell my story.I was born as the youngest child in a family with a couple of older siblings. When I was younger I never thought about how great my life was, but now I really look back at it as a good time. My dad always told me how important school was - even though he sucked at school and was just lucky with his job. He worked at some place on the other side of the earth, so I really did not see him that much. People always think people get so much free time in the business my dad works in, but I suppose he was (and is) one of the few.Even though we could afford it we never went on holidays far away like many other families. England and Denmark was really the only places we went one or two times. When my dad was home he was home - and he was not thinking about going anywhere. Even though this was very frustrating for my mother that always were at home with the kids this was how it was. My mom started worked a couple of years after I was 5 and attended school.When I was around 10 my parents got divorced. It was the most horrible time of my life and I still get tears in my eyes when I am talking or writing about it. The worst part is that I know the reason, and it is horrible. I would not be surprised if my parents hate each other - something that is very frustrating for a 15 year old girl that wants a family. I do not demand that much, but a nice time at Christmas or my birthday is not too much to ask for?Now I get to see my dad maximum 4 days a month, and that is in weekends. When it is weekends I would like to spend time with my friends instead of going somewhere I know no one at all. I suppose it is a sacrifice, but it sucks. I know that my parents love me, but it is horrible and just frustrating. It is like this huge secret that many in the family knows about but they act like they do not.What a life.

[anwiii 17]

at least you know your parents still love you after the divorce. a lot of kids blame themselves which is wrong and the marital problem have NOTHING ever to do with kids. just remember that they do and always will love you.i married in to a family that came out of a divorce. it's a nasty scene sometimes and the kids are usually the ones that get the blunt of the pain and heartache. they want the life they knew back. they want the ones they love over for christmas and suchbest way to deal with this situation is to alternate every year for the special occassions. also remember that if the marriage couldn't be saved, then getting a divorce was the best thing or you would have to hear your parents arguing all the time and that isn't anything a child should live through eitherfamily will ALWAYS be family always remember that. just because your parents divorced doesn't mean they or you divorced eachother.

[Bluebear 0]

Well it sucks that I kind of never get to see my dad, and when I do I obviously can not be with my friends or my mum, so it is not good for them either. My mum works all week long so I only see her in the mornings and maybe some minutes at night. I also have this sister that makes my life miserable, but I will not bother to talk about her. My mums economy got completely broken after the divorce, she has huge loans and works all the time. That is pretty much all she can do. She can never take us on holidays, or do anything really at all. She has less money in her bank than I have in mine, and she has a huge loan. What was it again? 300 000$ or something like that. The has a complete average job, and I just wish I could do something to help her.If I ever win the lottery I am going to give all the money to her.