Codependent Relationship Has anone ever been in Codependant Relaionship

[WindyDreams 0]

Has anyone ever been in Codependant Relationship?orUnderstand What that really is ?Every Ask yourself , you happier when you are Helping for others more each day or you do things in life that is for another person more than adding yourself in those efforts too. Have you felt guilty spending money over things that failed in efforts you placed out there for another to succeed in ,Have you tuned life into taking on other peoples problems in searching out there negative or suffering to make it issues in solving those problems even when that person seems okay in way life is at the time ,although the need becomes stronger in own self in fixing there problems or suffering Despite What is actually helping for that other person to cpe with ,it becomes more important to fix that person in your own way of thinking and seeing ,that results actually only turns out ,to be not so rewarding ,always limiting that person towards feeling they are damagd or needing improvments constantly within there own self and Life .You become depressed in issues that are unable to Fix another ,in all your efforts you placed out there and your Time .Then become Angry that areas that you was there for another ,does not get appreciated or supported in return being there or giving the Thanks needed for being there in all areas you done for them and placing own self out there for another .If you answer "yes" to the areas maybe that is a codependent relationship?So I ask you what is actually a Codependent Relationship ? I read many areas that those who are in Codependent relationship it is based on being a victim throughout your relationship ,weakness that gets paid close attention too and always needing a fix to those areas of another ,It seems as like there is unrealistic Responsibility for actions that are not your own ,feelings that some how to manipulate a person or environment an bring all negative towards a positive change for that person .A relationship that is codependent one is always striving to change ones own self ,always improving themselves for there partner ,there always feeling if only they could change themselves there relationship will get better ,only if they was not a victim of there own doing in Life .Then maybe there partner would treat them better and there relationship would be more loving towards each other ,only to find ,yourself never healed or on way towards living a life filled with happiness ,that you stay weak minded and All the improvements you strive to change and attempts one makes ,the other is never held accountable for there negative behavior as one is attempting to do better .Therefore that relationship is perpetuated and help is not sought out as a fix or solution .Those in Relationship that is ,Codependents may appear to see themselves in relationship , or even fool themselves or others into believing that are loving and kind and giving. In own self more than one there in a relationship with ,Is it true that codependents relationships seek out enjoy relationships with areas than there other half is a victim or lived past that was filled with suffering , as these kinds of relationships or people they meet ,help codependent to feel good about there own selves they hold issues in themselves in being insecure . Their acts of Love or helping hand is only of control and manipulation. It is clearly seen there is enormous amounts of Time and energy trying to "fix or help" the victim; if the victim gets stronger, it does not really meet their purpose as that person always holds some form of a issue that keeps them a victim and weaker than that other person ,Is it True in there own selves, They need to feel "needed" and Supportive thus enabling the victim to remain in day to day ,unhealthy Relationship.Is it true that most codependent relationships gain some form of sense of there own self worth from a relationship towards , needy partner . Is it True in Codependent Relationship that person that is always needing to fix another or solve another?s problems is actually in there own self is lavishing all of their time and attention another , that person is not really looking at there own self or full filling there own insecurities or that emptiness in there own personalities . Has anyone ever been in CODEPENDANT Relationship ,if so How Did you actually realize you was in that type of Relationship ,your own self ?Would be interested in Hearing other peoples views on Codependant Relationships .

[anwiii 17]

codependancy......can't be there for others until you allow yourself to be there for yourself. sometimes there is a fine line though since being there for the ones they love is who they are.one thing about life without putting a lable on it like codependancy is that there will be good AND bad. nobody can ever get away from the balance life holds for everyone.codependancy in my opinion is a made up word to explain the bad. in fact, if we eliminate the bad, there would only be good and no balance. we ned the bad to experience and learn from thus, bad is GOOD. at least the consequences of the bad doesn't have to remain bad as long as we can convert the bad in to something good.codependancy was a word that made a lot of money for people who love writing the self help books and it's pretty much only a label to discuss about specific problems. instead of labeling these problems with one word as many women like to do by beating around the bush using words like codependancy, why not directly understand the specific problems so one can deal with those problems directly instead of indirectly when talking about a word that is so general that you will NEVER get to any root of the problem?codependancy is a label and so general that the word codependancy could mean different things to different people and their specifics of how they are living.so, it goes along with my beliefs that i know everyone is unique and different. everyone has their own different and unique life to live and nobody is born the same. so why put a label like codependcy on others like it's a deseise? someone from the past wanted to label someone's nature as being codependant. and because with anything else in life, and the fact that codependancies have some neagative traits, it's a bad thing. WRONG because codependacny has some good traits to it too.in fact, what codependancy really concentrates on ARE the good traits and the fact that sometimes too much of a good thing can result in bad things since in this life, there has to be balance.bottom line.....if the good is creating negative consequenes one has two options. leave the relationship since it has very little to return back to you that is fullfilling, or work on the idea that it's what you give that is important, not what is given back and if you aren't getting back, then start being there more for yourself so your not left feeling so unfullfilled

Edited July 31, 2008 by anwiii (see edit history)

[iGuest 3]

In a long term codefendent affair/relationship - breakup, married, so sad.Codependent RelationshipI realize now that I have really messed up my life beyond repair. I was involed in a very long term love/hate relationship that went on for many, many years, no sexual acticity. I married and our strange relationship continued on the side. He was very mean to me with constant insults, text messages, etc. It got so bad that I couldn't stand it & was going to put an end to it once & for all. Instead I got pulled in to an even stickier situation. I failed, I gave in & it became sexual. I tried to get out several times but he wouldn't give up, he was demanding had to see me many times a week. Now comes the twist, I am still married but ready to get out of unhappy relationship. Ashamed of what I did but I'm so in love and sex is incredible. I was always his #1, could always feel his little "spark" of interest and now just suddenly he has lost interest in me. His actions say it all. He took a job that causes him to be away, when he demaned I see him at least every other day. He no longer calls much or texts, doesn't tell me I look great. Doesn't kiss me like he did & doesn't talk to me about important things as we always did. He says it's just my imagination but I know better. He is sneaking on to private sex sites & chat lines & then lying about it & blaming me for not having trust. I have proof, there's no doubt. I am totally crushed, confused, sad an hurt and yet I could be hurting someone in just this same way. 'v messed everything & my life will never ever be the same. I feel I will be left alone with no one & nothing. Advise?-reply by SoSaddened