.hack//GU 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2007 Three years ago, I like my underclassman, a girl 2 years younger than me. At that time, I was at my last year in senior high school. After a year passed, we had become a close friend or I thought I was. And that was the time I confessed my feeling to her, which she rejected. She said that she just wanted to be a close friend with me.Now, after three years passed, she attended to the same university with me and our relationship continued. I who cannot forget my love for her always give most of my time to her, until one day she referred me as her 'brother'. After some time passed, I confessed my feeling again to her and now she said that at this moment she didn't want to have that relationship with anyone...And that's the point, I don't know what to do. To continue as her 'brother' I could spend my time with her, but every time we part, I really scared that someday I'm gonna lose her and I don't know what I'll become that day. As I want to gradually forget her last year, she attended to my university and give me more of the false hope...So, what can I do? Let the time flow this way or what other thing I can do? Thanks for your advice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shadowx 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2007 Hey there, ive been in a similar situation now for about 4 or 5 years, but i realise that although i love her being her best friend is so great its not worth risking that to try for more.Being a friend is better as you will always be there with her through everything and you will be the one she thinks of when she needs someone or when she laughs it will be you making her laugh.So my advice is to just be great friends, no-one can say what will happen in the future but for now be happy to be best friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TikiPrincess 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2007 Unfortunately, it sounds like you're trapped in the "friend zone," especially if she's referring to you as her "older brother." It's kinda like that old TV show The Twilight Zone. Like the characters in the show, most guys never escape the friend zone. The thing is... she's categorized you as a friend, despite you telling her that you've got feelings for her. So unless you can break her preconceived notions about you, then she's never going to see you as anything other than her friend. Try being a little more spontaneous and do things that you wouldn't normally do. You have to make her see that she doesn't really know you as well as she thinks she does, so it'll force her to reconsider her earlier judgement. The problem with that is that you're trying to be something you're not. You have to try to be what you think she wants. You'd be better off finding someone who wants to be with you the way you are. Who knows, maybe after you stop showing her that you like her and start seriously dating other girls, she may realize that she wants you for herself. Either way, you're both very young if you're still at the university. You should have fun and experience what life has to offer. Be single and date a bunch of people for awhile. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mich 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2007 I do feel for you, but unfortunately she will probably always feel towards you the same. I had a similar relationship with my close (brother) friend back in college. We remained friends even after we were both married to others. To this day I still feel the same way about him. Once you have established the sibling relationship in your mind, it seldom changes to something more intimate. And, I have known some people that thought that their feelings had changed, married and it never worked. That certain something that creates a mating relationship just wasn't there. Your best efforts should be put into accepting the friendship as what it is and enjoy it while it lasts. Then again it could last forever, like mine did. Good Luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dagoth Nereviar 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2007 I was once best friends with my current girlfriend, and although we love each other very much, it would of been much easier to stay that way Alot easier on my wallet too Only messing...No, but sometimes it could make it alot worse. What you already have now sounds like something very good, and if you "force"/"rush" her into the relationship, you may find yourself in the future questioning if she actually loves you, or you may even question if she wanted you coz you was "easy to get" (Not saying that may be the case)But it does sound like over the years that she's grown to like you even more. So my advice would be to stick by it and wait till she asks you, coz you know you love her, she knows you love her, the only thing to find out is if she loves you...and if she asks you to be "more than friends" then I think that shows she does love you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaosdesign 0 Report post Posted October 6, 2007 Think of it in this way....Would you rather be friends for many years to come, or would you rather have a relationship (ie boy/girl friend) that might only last a few months, I have female friends that i have feelings for (some of them deep), but i would rather have them as a life long friend than a short term relationship.I once herd a saying that has stuck with me and have never been wrong. "Lovers come and go, but True friends are forever" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
.hack//GU 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2007 Thank you for all your advice. I'll think about it more, but for now I think maybe we may still be a best friend. Yes, my friend once warned me about "friend zone", as I might regret it when she would be with another man. To tell the truth, even after the long time, I still cannot let her slide from my mind. As long as she is beside me, I don't think I could forget her nor the feeling I have for her. I guess... maybe I'll see what the future give us then until I can know her more than today. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
