Advice On Girl Problems

[T84 0]

Heres the story, My 2 best friend's(part of a set of triplets) cousin came to live with them for a month. During the course of the month I fell in love with their cousin. She then went back to europe and now I'm heart broken. She may come back next summer but there is no garentee. I still talk to her on myspace and on an istant messenger. My biggest concern about her coming back was money so i took it apon myself to start saving money, i have about 1/4 of what it would cost for a round trip flight. Problem #1 would be if i do raise the money, how would i get it to her? and how exactly would i go about telling her about how i feel?The second part of my problem is about this girl who i am friends with really likes or is in love with one of my best friends. I can tell by the way she acts around him and the things she says to him, but he has no interest at all in her relationship wise. Im worried that he is gunna hurt her. At the same time that im in love with his cousin i have feelings on and off for the girl that likes him. I aslo think she likes me because of how she and what we talk about. She tells me everything and anything but when ever relationships comes up as a topic she will over to tell me who she likes, but never gives me a straight answer(or person) just little hints. I am always the first person she calls/texts to make plans to hang out. I aslo read in another topic about offering her helpping her on a large step or something. When ever she falls or trips in while we play soccer with friends i offer to help her up, but the first couple of times she hesitated, but know she takes my hand instantly. (What does that mean?) She IMs me the second she signs on to AIM or the second one of us return from away. We always make plans to go to amusement parks with freinds and other stuff because her birthday is coming up.(Any ideas on what to get her?) We talk for hours on AIM almost every day. But like i mentioned before she really likes one of my best friends(or so it seems) because she can be with me having a conversation but the second he signs on our conversation seems to take a back seat to theirs. Any ideas on how he should tell her he isnt interested with out her getting hurt? Any ideas on what i should do about my on and off feelings for her?Thank you for any and all feedback it is appreicated very very much

Edited October 1, 2007 by T84 (see edit history)

[tuddy 0]

Sort out your own feelings first. You an't base a relationship on "on off" feelings. Then see how she feels about your best friend, you have to play it smartly. You can't look like your trying to give your best friend a bad image and getting yourself in. On the other hand she may not even like you relationship wise either. Just honestly tell her how you feel about her, and she may even turn around and say what about distance and that could be the best time to tell her that you are saving for her to com back again, or you could see her. Sort yourself out regarding your feelings first though, worry about you hurting her first then your best friend. If she likes him, and he says no, then she will live with it.

[TikiPrincess 0]

Part 1. I would say that rather than sending her the money, why not use it for a round-trip ticket for yourself? Even if things don't work out between you and this girl, you still get the opportunity to be in Europe. I was fortunate enough to be able to trek around parts of Europe twice and hope to do it again since the experience was well worth it. Besides, you don't seem that infatuated with her since you're interested in some other girl. There's no guarantee that she'll use it to buy a ticket to see her cousins and you unless you send her an actual plane ticket.

 

Part 2. Most girls can tell if a guy really likes her or not, or they find out from their secret girl network what the deal is. If you want her to know without being the one hurting her, then you can tell a friend of her friend and it will eventually get back to her. Of course, half the school will also know that she likes him and he doesn't like her back, which could be a bit humiliating. Or you could be a real friend and tell her quietly and privately that the guy considers her a friend and wants to keep it that way. Either way, she's going to get hurt because rejection always hurts no matter who it comes from or how tactfully it's said.

You probably shouldn't date her for awhile after because she'll be on the rebound. She might date you to get him jealous and make him see what he's missing. Or she'll transfer her feelings for him onto you, which can get emotionally confusing, and she'll be constantly comparing you with him mentally, if not verbally. When you all hang out together, you'll wonder if she wishes she were holding hands with him instead of you, and you'll begin to doubt your relationship with her and your friendship with him and start doing little things that sabatoge your relationship with her or him or both.

So save yourself the anxiety and don't get involved until she can sort out her feelings for him. Be her friend and show her that you care just enough to be a little more than friends. If she sees you for who you are and likes you for it, great! If not, you can always fall back on a trip to Europe where you can get involved in some romantic fling that'll only last for a week or two.

[T84 0]

Thanks for the feeback, i had forgot to mention how i think she likes me.(in the edit i made) I had thought about going to europe but sadly i dont speak german and wouldnt have a place to stay, were as if she were to come here then she could stay with her relatives(who have already agreed to having her return for july and august this year). I really hadnt thought of liking the girl who im friends with till i thought she started liking me. At this point im so confused. My feelings for my friends cousin are much greater then for my friend but as i mentioned i do have on/off feelings for her(like on day a week i like her) and i find this very very strange.

[iGuest 3]

I have a question for you folks out there. I need some advice on this littel(when I say little I really mean huge) problem I'm having.It starts out like this, I met this girl when I was really young. Her and I had a special connection when we were young. One day she moves away and I don't see her or hear from her for eight years. When she shows back up we still have this crazy connection from our childhood. Now the problem is that one day while we were dating she went on a vacation. When she was there she cheated on me with a local guy. Now when I confronted her she would deny it it. One night after everyone had been drinking I made a huge mistake. I got so upset I started breaking things and screaming and yelling. Worst thing I could have possibly done. Now she hates my guts and never wants to speak to me again. It's been about a year since we've spoken and I really want to re-open the lines of communication but I'm afraid she'll tell me to get lost. What do you think I can do to prove I'm sorry about everything I've done and that I still love her? How can I regain her respect?-question by SimplyLost

[iGuest 3]

My Aching HeartAdvice On Girl Problems

hey!  I asked this one girl to go on a date with me.  She said yes.  I went out with her best friend  for like a year.  She got really upset.  The girl then broke off the date.  I have been feeling lonely for days.  But then came Kevin and Clay, and my cousin Barbara, o Barb, what a fox.  I'm really not too sure what to do cause everbody else just makes fun of me because I'm fat.  Will someone please help me and give me some advice.  Barbara will be returing home soon and I really want to make the most of our time. 

-reply by David Smith

[iGuest 3]

help me out with thisAdvice On Girl ProblemsHi , 

 

My name is nick 24 yr, I have a relation with my girlfriend from last 2 1/2 years, the story beging , we were working together in the same company , she purposed me for friendship but I hav't gotten any love opinion for her, but we were good friends, she has some problem one of her ears, she is not able to hear properly, she explained me everthing at the begning of the relationship, becoz of this problem I attached with her and I fell in love with her, I took her to some of doctors, everthing was going smooth,, after 8 months of our relationship her parents forced her to marry some other guy ,, then immediatly I took her to meet my parents and I told them she the girl to whom I want to marry, my parented were intrested, but she said I m not able ot convience my parentes,,, I said its okay I dnt wana create any problems in your family, so you can go and take care of your parents decision, now she came back after one year with the same love , now we were together for sametime but I was not getting that response what I used to get in intial days, she did't get time to meet me , we talked over the phone for sometime ,, now she syas she is not able to give me her attention , she is tryinng to go out from my life ,, but I loved her alot I cant lived without her ,, I want trying go forget her , but I m not able to ,,,Please tell me what I have to do 

 

-reply by nick carter