People Who Don't Punish Their Children are bad parents

[sheepdog 10]

Oh, I agree completely!!(and I still can't believe you are only 13!....so much common sense for so young a mind!) Nothing is more annoying to me than to be in a store or restuarant and have brat kids running amok and screaming and just generally being a pain in the *bottom*. The problem is, if you whack your kid in public, you can be sure that some whiney, bleeding heart will turn you in for child abuse, and child services will come knocking on your door. Many parents are afraid to spank. The brats can run to their school counslers and tattle on their parents, and believe me, the parents are going to be guilty until proven inocent when it comes to child abuse. Spanking should be used. Much more than it is now. Children need to be taught right from wrong. Time outs, verbal repremands, and other politacally correct garbage just doesn't work sometimes. Give 'em one, "No, don't do that" and when they do it again, swat 'em on the *bottom*.

[Mermaid711 0]

Oh, I agree completely!!(and I still can't believe you are only 13!....so much common sense for so young a mind!)

Hmmm... I seem to be getting that more increasing ly not only from you but from the world around me

Nothing is more annoying to me than to be in a store or restuarant and have brat kids running amok and screaming and just generally being a pain in the *bottom*.

Yeah I totally agree! It amazes me when people around my parents' age come up to us in public and say "Oh my God, your children are behaved so well!" Well I say to myself, "WELL DUH! WE WERE SPANKED!"

The problem is, if you whack your kid in public, you can be sure that some whiney, bleeding heart will turn you in for child abuse, and child services will come knocking on your door. Many parents are afraid to spank. The brats can run to their school counslers and tattle on their parents, and believe me, the parents are going to be guilty until proven inocent when it comes to child abuse.

Well the whiney bleeding heart person can kiss my behind for all I care. I do not deserve to be punished for instilling basic behavioural instruction in my child. And if you do not have proof the child is abused, by law they can not take the child away. They should be smart enough to figure out that children are sometimes confused about what goes on in their world and what goes on in reallity. And if my child ever did this.... ohhhh the spankings... oh the groundings.... oh the dinners with out desert....

Spanking should be used. Much more than it is now. Children need to be taught right from wrong. Time outs, verbal repremands, and other politacally correct garbage just doesn't work sometimes. Give 'em one, "No, don't do that" and when they do it again, swat 'em on the *bottom*.

Amen.

And the other thing that I believe is just as bad if not worse, are the parents who spank their children, but soon after turn around and say sorry. It's just as bad as not doing anything in the first place, pluss it teaches the child nothing... RAWR! :XD:

[Sean Foster 0]

I have 5 kids and I spank. My parents spaked, my grandparents spanked, etc and we all turned out okay. We all have good jobs, friends, and no criminal records. Take a look out there at adults who were never spanked (if you are wondering where to find them, they are usually found in prisons). They are the opposite. The problems are that there are few "parents" nowadays. They choose to be friends instead. Children need parental figures in their lives. They will have plenty of friends. They need to feel disappointment and how to cope with boundaries and friends cannot teach these things like parents can. . . . just my 2 cents.

[salamangkero 0]

The problems are that there are few "parents" nowadays. They choose to be friends instead.

I beg to differ. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with parents being friendly with their children, if, and only if, they do not renounce the responsibilities of parenthood. For one, my mom and I are very close. Granted, she raised me well (she spanked me as a child) but it does not mean that she is always cold to me. Au contraire, when I am behaving, we find it a lot easier to communicate with each other. The same is true between my mom and my sibs.

 

I honestly think that being parent and friend to your kid is beneficial. If someone were just a parent, they'd probably say, "Gary, let's have the talk," and things will get awkward from there. If, however, you consider your parent your friend, it'd be much easier for them to say, "Nikki, let's talk about boys."

 

This, methinks, is very beneficial in that pubescent kids are given the knowledge that they really need, instead of having to seek it elsewhere, possibly in more unsavory sources such as porn mags, movies, the internet, etc. What is the point? I believe that, on some issues such as sex, it is sometimes better to approach as a candid friend than as an authority figure.

 

Of course, it's not always limited to sex, but I'm just giving you an insight to my personality Take smoking, for example. Don't you think the words, "You shouldn't smoke; it's bad for your lungs," are convincing enough? How about, "You really shouldn't smoke, trust me on this. I used to smoke once, it my college days... *blah, blah*...and now there are a lot of things I couldn't do 'coz I've burnt most of lungs."

 

Ah, anyway, I'm getting off-topic here but I'd just like to offer my two cents that parents should really be parents, but it wouldn't hurt if they're also friends :XD:

[Mermaid711 0]

At salamangkero:

 

Some people do not know where to draw the line between being a friendly parent, and being just a friend. I respect your mother very much because she actually knows what she is doing and I wish all kids had a mother like that.

 

What i think seanfoster meant is that many parents think nowdays like they did when they were kids. "Oh spankings caused me sooo much pain when I was little, so I'm not going to do that to my sweet little angel!" And BAM! You have an undicaplined child.

 

As for the talking about sex thing... hmmmmm being a pubecent thirteen year old myself... "the sex talk" was incredibly akward. But it is very much needed. Especially since schools are corrupted and can not teach "those" sorts of things properly without being yelled at by some whiney parent. But even in that case, our sex ed instructor said an infamous statement in wich I will never forget how hard I laughed, and how much trouble I got into laughing at it :XD: "Sex is fun and it feels good. Don't do it before your married, but it is wonderfull and it feels good." Now why would you tell that to a bunch of kids with raging harmones?

 

Hmmmm smoking... Both of my parents smoked for a short time and they both quit. My mom doesn't sing as pretty as she use to... but she still sings well... My dad I don't think it affected him in anyways very much. But the extremity of the side efects of smoking vary by person, but you should just be smart and not do it at all... it turns your teeth and fingers yellow and makes your breath stink.

 

Anyways, back on topic. It is important that you spank young children because pain is primitiave enough for a developing mind to understand. However, when a child is about my age you can stop spanking and start grounding, especially since everybody my age wants out of the house alot. But in one of salamangkero's previous posts, it is very undesireable to have a five year old's head littery nudging you in the behing, and haveing him lie down in front of you in an already crowded place.

 

Your child will not turn out perfect. It's physically impossible, bbecause we all are sinners, weather you believe in God or not. But he/she will turn out fine, take me for example: When i am angry, I tend to pick apart the flaws in the person/object who made me angry and start name calling. However, even though i post in "The Vent" a lot, I am generally a happy person and rarely intentionally offend anybody. But we all have our flaws and that is what makes us who we are. But we can AVOID flaws with corparal punishment in early childhood.

[Soviet 0]

My opinion for this is:

 

People Who Don't Punish Their Children, are really bad parents. (as topic said)

Yea this is really true.. Parents who don't give some punish are bad because that child who make something really bad and he wouldn't be punished, then that child haven't got some parents help and he wouldn't be good boy.

Sometimes not but most of these not punished children are really bad and still saying "fu*k etc"

If I will be one time father my child will be punished because it will need it for good growing. And I hate parents who just saying bad words when they are with children. Then children are bad motivated and they are using that words too.

Then parents please punish your children.. They need it :XD:

Edited September 2, 2007 by Soviet (see edit history)

[Mermaid711 0]

Yes soviet. This is true, because corparal punishment is like tectera and i said, primitave enough for a young child to understand. But nowdays in schools they preach, "If your mommy or daddy EVER hits you, come straight to school and let us know." people are sooooo sooooooo libberal these days RAWR!

[GamerGlitch 0]

Yeah, even though I am a bit envious of the children who never get in trouble, and can do whatever they want I do believe punishment needs t o be a factor in parenting. When you don't teach of punishment, and children start believing life is a game it sets up a negative example of the real world. If you go out on the streets and disobey an officer your going to get into some serious trouble, Laws aren't games, and even though this is a far bent example, it demonstrates a point.

[Sean Foster 0]

Mermaid711,

 

You are right on target with what I meant, and you said it well.

 

I don't mean a parent can't be a friend to their children. My parents are among my best of friends. I just cringe when I see a child walk all over their parent(s) and nothing is done. I think people are afraid that they will lose the love of their child if they discipline them, but what they don't realize is that they may lose the love, and definately the respect, if they don't! It's biblical to discipline . . . just read these verses in the New International Version of the bible:

 

Proverbs 13:24 -- "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."

Proverbs 23:13 -- "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die."

Proverbs 29:15 -- "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."

Proverbs 29:17 -- "Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul."

The only other reason I can think of that a parent may not discipline their child is laziness, and I see that all too often: The parent is watching TV and the child does something naughty, but the parent does nothing because they are too lazy to get up and discipline the child, God forbid they should miss any part of their show! It has become a "me" generation, where people are focused on only themselves, but that is another rant.
Edited September 10, 2007 by Sean Foster (see edit history)

[garbage 0]

I agree at some stuff that has been said and other stuff I dont agree on.There are lots of parents that do not punish or disicplin their children but they are still good parents and so are the children. They are good kids. I have seen many of them who do not grow up to just be some spoiled kid who trys to run over his/her parents.There are aloso just as many who do run over the parents and the parents are bad.Then ther eis the few exepmtions here and there.For example.In a youth program that I worked in there waas a kid who's parents really were bad parents. never at home and once home really didnt care for much other than themselves and getting drunk and stuff.The kid was pretty much left to do as he please he did do lots of things he should nt be doing but at the same time he had no one to tell him not too.His parents were either home drunk or out drinking.But thisprogram allowed me to go and like counsel and wok with the kid. and believe it r not it worked. I didnt get on to himor try to be harsh, i just tried telling him the reprocussions of ones actions.I even tried talking to the kids parents and that was like talking to a wall. It was very tough.Dad even try to fight me at one point I was like dude Chill your gonna get knocked out, especially with yu being drunk in all.I do have to say the parents were nasty and funny at the same time.Lets just say I walk into the house one day around 6 pm evening time. Im ther to pick up the kid were gonna do some fun stuff.. Also the jid was about 11 or 12 yrs old sorry id dint state that earlier.back to the story, I go there to pick him up and his folks in the bed room next door are going at it.By that I mean it was something you do behind close doors and try to keep your voice down.Yes they were taking care of business, and the mom was getting all loud. Funny stuff but the bad part was,once done she walked out into the living bare with nothing on as if it was ok .I understand you have your home but that is not ok. What messages does that give the child.

[faund 0]

I don't think so. I have a 7 years old boy, and I never give him any "spankings", but my son have good manners, and obey the rule when he is in public.I think "spankings" maybe a simple way to get kids quiet and be good but not the best way.If parents have good behavior the kids will also have. As a saying goes, parents is the best teacher for their children.I think "spankings" will let kids be forcible, when he want to find the way of resolve a problem, he will use forces simply as their parents do, is that a good thing?

[Sean Foster 0]

If you jump straight to spankings, sure, they will learn to be forceful; however, if you set solid rules and they willingly break them repeatedly, you must elevate the punishment and eventually, that may mean spanking them. Also, I only spank if they break a rule which endangers themselves or others. Children need to realistically learn consequences for their actions. When they do good, reward them. When they save someone from a very dangerous situation, reward them in a big way! If they do bad, punish them. If they do something very dangerous, punish them in a big way! The punishment needs to fit the transgression. It is better to teach the child the consequences in a controlled environment now (spanking them) rather than letting them learn in an uncontrolled environment later (like possibly losing their life).In a similar vein, I see many people I grew up with who have absolutely no clue as to how life really works because they were not taught realistically as they were raised. When they want something, they get it because mom and dad always got it for them as kids. Eventually, they find that they are up to their eyeballs in debt (credit cards).faund, You are correct when you said that parents are the best teachers for their children. So why would you not want them to learn the realistic consequences for their actions.

[faund 0]

I think reward and encourage is very important when kids did well. In fact in my country it is well accepted method to teach child, kids get a lot of encourage and reward from their parents and teachers. I though it was something we learn from western world.In traditional way of China, the parents and teachers do punish much more than reward, kids can hardly get a smile of satisfaction from their parents and teachers, but this situation is totally changed today.Teaching kids without spankings does not means that we let kids do everything they want to. There are much way to help kids. For an instance, When they act the giddy goat to fight against parents and teachers to win what they want, we always just do nothing, after several times the kids will notice that's useless and not do that again. Doing nothing maybe is the punishment.

Edited September 15, 2007 by faund (see edit history)

[Unknown_99 0]

It is true parents who don't manage their children misbehavior are bad parents but in today laws everyone is afraid of possibly hitting their child as it can be reported as child abuse. Well form where I'm from ministering spankings is actually quite acceptable by teachers and parents regardless of how much pain the child may be in and the children seem to grow up decent. But in all cases children mimic their parents, if the parents aren't good role models then the children will mimic that then cycle of bad role models will continue till the world has no hope!

[bishoujo 0]

They have also passed a law that forbids teachers to punish kids. And the kids get so brazen that they and their parents go lodging complaints right, left and center even though the teacher only gave a little scolding. No wonder kids are getting so spoilt these days. Abusing children verbally and physically is wrong, but a little punishment like a smack or a pinch doesn't cause any permanent damage.