sirhenry 0 Report post Posted December 15, 2004 A Spoon (or When Ambition Abandons Reason)Why do we seekA silver spoon,(which is a moonthat heaven hides)And follow a ladel as our guide?When do the meekMake wax wings fly,Just to try,Our spirit's mindBut in doing so--have we left the world behind?___What Will You SeeLook at the sky, what do you see?Ten thousand stars and seven moons,Yet none have noticed me.Look at the sky, what do you see?Nebula seas and astral dunes,Yet none need notice me.Look at the sky, what will you see?A new word carved in starlit runes,For that star will be me!___Yeah... they suck. Oh well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
m33 0 Report post Posted December 22, 2004 (edited) those are good! you are talented man! keep up the good work dont spam please...post lines more than 2-3 lines longer..... Edited December 22, 2004 by Becca (see edit history) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hulunes 0 Report post Posted December 22, 2004 the poems above have dense and lasting appeal...well done.marvelous teenager,did a pretty work.i applaud to you.hope you make persistent efforts,make more and more good works.good luck!oh,just look at time of my pc. too late now,for my location is GMT+8:00,exactly is 23:00pm.i think i will sleep well by reading your poem...hehe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vanilla_rent 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2005 what? posting poems you -claim- suck? silly poet. I was immediately smiling after seeing the first line of each poem- you clearly show a ton of talent :rolleyes:both poems are very cute- and it is complimentary to be able to clearly speak a poem in as little as a stanza or two- that takes a definate realization in the writer of the actual sort of well, embodiment of the poem and, not to be weird, the poem's self. While the second poem more simply makes me smile and happy, I actually really do like the first one- it shows your skill in not simply writing with words and entitling it a poem, but metaphorically and truly poetically writing the unrealities that are the facts of the life we seem to claim to know a reality for. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuburbanalCuts 0 Report post Posted January 6, 2005 You should make a book homie, of dah poems. I like the first one alot but not the second as much. I don't know, I think I find it too kiddish or something. But it's still coo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaolith 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2005 i thik that are beautiful... i love it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clergyq 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2005 Here is one of my not so great poems :PRun away with me lets leave all this behind,forget our names forget forget who we are, Just get in the car and drive. we can dance in open fields and howl at the moon,we can lay on our backs, eyes fixed on the stars, wondering how far and naming each one we can look for sea shells on rocky coasts chase the waves on sandy beaches feeling the sand between our toes we can get lost in tall forests and play amoung the fallen leaves feel the chill of winter as we watch the snow cling to the treesrun away with me lets leave all this behindwe wont need much just get in the car and drive... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bash 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2005 lol, that's pretty good actually, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites