Attraction: The Difference Between The Sexes

[TikiPrincess 0]

After reading several sob stories and pleas for advice from other posts on this forum, I thought I might share some of my experiences and knowledge. Though I've had my fair share of relationships, I also like to people watch and I always seem to be the friend that everyone turns to when they need a shoulder to cry on. It's interesting what you can learn just by watching other people.

First of all, you have to accept the fact that men and women are, for the most part, wired differently. There are exceptions to the rule, as always, and it's not clear whether these differences are genetic or conditioned through the environment, but men tend to think differently than women.

This is significant because even though both sexes value aesthetic appeal or physical beauty, the emphasis on these traits differs. For example, most men are visually stimulated. Guys don't do a very good job of hiding this fact, and women can quite easily exploit it, hence the large number of "paper bag magazines," movies, internet sites, etc. that make a fortune off of this very idea. Women, on the other hand, usually need more than just visual appeal. It's a fallacy that a woman knows whether she'd have sex with a guy within five minutes of knowing him. Most women need to connect intellectually and emotionally with a guy, which will often outweigh the physical attraction (or the lack thereof). When you consider the long running popularity of soap operas and shows like "Grey's Anatomy" or "Sex in the City," it seems that women really do enjoy the complexities and multiple levels of relationships. It's not that they need drama, but they enjoy plot twists or romanticizing about the whatif's and other possibilities. Brad Pitt, aside from being the hottest guy on the planet (IMO), is also a humanitarian and active in wildlife preservation, which only adds to his hotness rating. If he were a complete jerk, the way Russell Crowe can be, then he would drop down on the list.

So how does this play out in the real world? Well, you guys need to realize that we women know exactly what you're looking for and that we will try to make you think with your head rather than your brain to get what we want. You've been warned. Aside from that, men need to understand that they can't use the same tactics on women. Yes, gorgeous and sexy men will appeal to more women, but if you can connect to a woman on an emotional level by appealing to her intellect, then sometimes it doesn't really matter what you look like. As for women, well, we just have to accept the fact that guys are turned on by hot women. If he turns his head to watch Pamela Anderson go by, it doesn't mean that he doesn't think you're attractive or that he doesn't love you. Even though my husband's pretty good at just turning his eyes and not his head, I'll usually say, "Wow, she was hot" or something like that. He's smart enough to say, "She was wearing too much makeup" or "They looked fake to me" rather than denying he saw her.

Of course, all this is just based on my opinion and experiences and, again, can't be applied to everyone. Feel free to take this post with a grain of salt or voice your disagreements.

[Will.Allison 0]

I am a guy and although I am attracted to beautiful women, that will not make me try and have a relationship with them. In my school, there are a lot of good-looking women but I am not really attracted to any of them. Personality outweighs looks at least in my opinion. So this is jsut a post to say that all men won't try to start a relationship based only on looks.

[TikiPrincess 0]

Oh, my post isn't about starting a relationship, just the differences between what turns men and women on. Because women need emotional or intellectual stimulation, it's harder to pinpoint what women want from men.

[Ojkatii 0]

Hey, good job! Just about all of that was right on the spot. I agree with everything in the post, and just about all the guy stuff applies to me.

[truefusion 3]

... we will try to make you think with your head rather than your brain to get what we want. ...

Can you clarify on the defintions for the words "head" and "brain" that are used here? If i'm not mistaken, in common speech these two mean the same thing.

 

If he turns his head to watch Pamela Anderson go by, it doesn't mean that he doesn't think you're attractive or that he doesn't love you.

However, you can't rule out the possibilities of that moment. (Matthew 5:28).

[TikiPrincess 0]

Can you clarify on the defintions for the words "head" and "brain" that are used here? If i'm not mistaken, in common speech these two mean the same thing.

I could, but I'm just trying to use euphemisms here so that I can imply what I mean without actually going out there and saying it. Although I do understand that it might be difficult for people who may have learned English and it's not their primary language, I figured it might be harder for some of the younger Trappers to understand the meaning as well.

However, you can't rule out the possibilities of that moment. (Matthew 5:28).

We are all only humans. Though we try, we are weak and sometimes fail. The best thing to do is show acceptance and forgiveness rather than berate or admonish someone for being only human. Love is not love without an open heart.

[truefusion 3]

We are all only humans. Though we try, we are weak and sometimes fail. The best thing to do is show acceptance and forgiveness rather than berate or admonish someone for being only human. Love is not love without an open heart.

I didn't mean that last part in a bad way. I didn't mean to show hatred for their act, but, rather, to show concern for their act. Adultery is a big thing, i meant to imply what could happen in the long run (relating to their salvation) with the person that committed the act. And love also includes being faithful.
But on the part on "head" and "brain", i suppose you mean men who are enticed by women for not putting wisdom before action.

[Cherish 0]

I find that I agree with most of this for sure. As far as looks go, they really don't always matter, (as long as there is good hygiene ) I don't think all guys are only focused on looks either though.

[FLaKes 0]

I really like your post, and I sort of agree with what you said about men needing to connect intellectually with women though I would also add that not all women are wired in the same way. Because I have also known women who dont connect intelectually with men and they seem to get along pretty well. I really liked how you handle the situation in which a hot girl goes by and both of you notice her.