How To Get Out Of A Slump.... IM kind of embarrassed posting this but i need oponions :(

[Byaja 0]

Ok heres what it is, i used to live with my parents a long time ago, and they trusted me to look after the house while they went on holiday, i was involved with the wrong crowd found it hard to say no...so i had a party, the house got trashed and to cut a long story short i was kicked out and disowned....2 years later we started speaking again..in that time i went from hostel to hostel and moved areas a few times got involved with drugs and it really screwed me up.Ever since then ive got into this slump where i never want to go out, do anything other than stay indoors.....i need a job but cant bring myself to do it, the only time i do go out is to get cigarettes and other essentials, i dont eat properly maybe a cheeseburger or pizza from the shop if im hungry enough if my stomach dont growl i dont bother eating.....Then theres the mental side...I used to be a nice guy, but ever since i been involved in hostels and drugs ive changed into someone who can be nice on minute then be a complete *bottom* the next, and to add....when im on the nasty side i can be quite mean....some of the things i come out with scare me....so where would you start if you was me....as I have no idea how to fix it....(that was kind of long and detailed =/ hopefulled i havent made myself look an idiot)/Byaja

[jlhaslip 4]

Sounds like a form of Depression to me.Start with a visit to a Doctor, let them see what your situation is. You don't mention where you live, but perhaps there is a Drop-in Centre near you that might assist? or have you considered volunteering for something that will require you to get outside the house on a regular basis? Do you have ant interests in Sports? maybe get involved in a Program and get some physical activity? Just a couple of quick ideas...

[master_bacarra 0]

first off, i appreciate the fact that you admit your mistakes that you've done in the past. i think it takes a lot of courage to speak up (although on a crowd like us, i think it's a bit safe, but then again, it's still one big step ). well going to trap and telling us about it means there's already some changes happening to you.in order for you to start clean, you have to let go of all of these things that have brought you to a different direction, a direction that your folks don't want you to be in. it takes time, especially with the drugs. you have to get help from professionals that would make the process of "moving on" a lot easier.if your parents really care for you despite what had happened, they would accept you with open arms. but sometimes, some parents need proof that you've changed, that it's all for the better, that they would be able to sleep at night without worrying about you anymore, knowing that you're doing great. after the process of healing and starting over, you should set your goals and what you want to achieve so you could be proud of yourself. try to accomplish these goals one step at a time. get a job, so you could establish yourself and finance yourself, if you've given yourself enough time, you could probably get back to school. i know it's a lot and it would take time, but if your parents see the change, and maybe one day they could invite you back in.good luck with your problems and i hope that helps even for a bit.

[Byaja 0]

I already when to training and got my CT FLT Liscence....but no job yet...On the parents thing.....I have tried my hardest to please them, and tbh i have giving up i havent spoke to them since my auntie died and atm im not in any mood to change that either....there is a few things i ddint state in my post if i had it would be too long..Basically I live in wolverhampton and they want me to move back to leicester and get my own place, i said to them i decided im not moving after all..and all i got was a sarchastic remark and when I asked when they were coming up next the reply i got was "probably never seen as you cant be bothered to meet us halfway" im like ok screw this be like that slammed the phone down and havent spoke since and dont intend to anytime soon either.

[TikiPrincess 0]

The thing about addiction and abuse is that it can alter your personality - even after you've quit. Your body adjusts to the chemicals, producing more of one thing or less of another. Kinda like if you wash your hair everyday, then your scalp produces more oil and your hair actually becomes more oily than if you washed it every other day. Sorry, that's the only analogy I could come up with right now.

It seems to me, as jlhaslip suggested, that you may be suffering depression. Honestly, who wouldn't after going through what you've been through. Your post shows that you've got some guilt over your actions and some pain over the estrangement from your parents. You may also be experiencing some withdrawal if you've stopped taking drugs or you may just be crashing if you haven't. Either way, I would also recommend seeing a doctor. Perhaps you'll be able to see things in a more optimistic light if you can figure out what's causing your lack of motivation.

As for the parents thing... we all say and do things that we don't really mean. Most parents have blinders on and they see their child as the person they want that child to become. When that curtain is raised and they see you for the person you are, it can be pretty shocking. Your parents were obviously hurt and angry that you broke their trust. You are hurt and angry by their reaction and the extreme measures taken. Unfortunately, the hurt and anger sometimes keep building up over time instead of going away. Every discussion becomes fuel for the next argument. If you truly want to reconnect, then you have to be the bigger person and reach out to them. Don't meet them halfway or make them come to you. Go to them and do it with an open heart and an open mind. It's a very hard thing to do, and it will take awhile for them to respond and start reaching back. If they loved you enough to trust you back then, then they still love you even now.

 

And if you're motivated enough to watch a movie, there's a great one called "Pieces of April" starring Katie Holmes and Kevin Spacey that you might connect with.

[Byaja 0]

The thing about addiction and abuse is that it can alter your personality - even after you've quit. Your body adjusts to the chemicals, producing more of one thing or less of another. Kinda like if you wash your hair everyday, then your scalp produces more oil and your hair actually becomes more oily than if you washed it every other day. Sorry, that's the only analogy I could come up with right now.

It seems to me, as jlhaslip suggested, that you may be suffering depression. Honestly, who wouldn't after going through what you've been through. Your post shows that you've got some guilt over your actions and some pain over the estrangement from your parents. You may also be experiencing some withdrawal if you've stopped taking drugs or you may just be crashing if you haven't. Either way, I would also recommend seeing a doctor. Perhaps you'll be able to see things in a more optimistic light if you can figure out what's causing your lack of motivation.

As for the parents thing... we all say and do things that we don't really mean. Most parents have blinders on and they see their child as the person they want that child to become. When that curtain is raised and they see you for the person you are, it can be pretty shocking. Your parents were obviously hurt and angry that you broke their trust. You are hurt and angry by their reaction and the extreme measures taken. Unfortunately, the hurt and anger sometimes keep building up over time instead of going away. Every discussion becomes fuel for the next argument. If you truly want to reconnect, then you have to be the bigger person and reach out to them. Don't meet them halfway or make them come to you. Go to them and do it with an open heart and an open mind. It's a very hard thing to do, and it will take awhile for them to respond and start reaching back. If they loved you enough to trust you back then, then they still love you even now.

 

And if you're motivated enough to watch a movie, there's a great one called "Pieces of April" starring Katie Holmes and Kevin Spacey that you might connect with.

Your post makes a lot of sense but unfornuately there is no chance ill be backing down regarding my parents, i havent even gave them my phone number, im done with them to be honest i feel guilty about having that party yes, but i am not guilty about not talking to them, that makes me sound like an idiot?...i cant help the way i feel this has been going on for years and this time enough is enough, i want to sort myself out before i even contemplate even talking to them as they are 50% part of the problem.

[Mermaid711 0]

Well first i have to give you a hand admitting, is incredibly hard to do, and the first step to recovery Like Jlhaslip said, see a doctor, you do sound like you are depressedMaybe asked about rehab, i know people who went in it and said at first they hated it, but now they are so glad they did it :PKeep us informed

[eka_ys 0]

Yes you should get a rehab soon, and the most important thing that you have to ask yourself is "How do I value myself?". You have to value yourself more and more everyday, but be careful not to make yourself overconfident and bring people down. Value yourself then give more values to others.....