Don't Take A Man Shopping

[OpaQue 15]

Don't take a man shopping

 

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or

boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by a leading

super market's Head Office to a customer in Oxford .

 

Dear Mrs. Murray,

 

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the T3$co Loyalty

Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you

and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his

antics.

 

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by

our surveillance cameras:-

 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

trolleys when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at

5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

feminine products aisle.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,

"Code 3" in house wares..... and watched what happened.

 

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and

told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a

Calor gas stove.

 

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,

he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

 

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a

mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

 

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the

House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the

antidepressants were.

 

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming

the "Mission Impossible" theme.

 

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look"

using different size funnels.

 

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,

yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

 

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,

assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices

again."

 

And; last, but not least:-

 

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a

while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here".

Source : Email.

[t3jem 0]

hahaha!! love it, absolutly lovely. Thanks for the laugh. I like the last one.

[salamangkero 0]

Oh, good lord. The last one... eeyw? But dang, those condom boxes sneaked into people's trolleys was terribly funny.I do remember the movie, "Hot Chick," where she (the hot chick) sneaked an item into a rival's shopping bag. When she (the rival) exited through the sensors... beep, beep, beep

[sylenzednuke 0]

Haha, loved it, really loved it. :PEspecially the last one is just too funny, reminds me of something similar, lol, my friend was in a changing room trying out his new cargos and he suddenly felt the urge to empty his stomach, though he do it there, how could he, his girlfriend was there with us too, lol. XD

[Dagoth Nereviar 0]

Hahaha, that's hilerious! "Pick me! Pick me!" and the condom one I thought it was going to be how a girl to her boyfriend/husband to tesco and he complained or something

[9971 0]

Love the dressing room toilet, I am glad that was not anyone I know.

[Jimmy 0]

LOL Very funny you just gave me all the ideas I need for my new video :(Setting all the alarm clocks to go off one by one is an insanely good idea!!!!!what a great way to test out my new video camera