How To Take Over The World How I would do it

[glenstein 0]

(Obviously this isn't serious... but it is very much an idea, and theory)

 

To start I will make clear that I am not claiming that my way is the best way to take over the world (even I think there might be simpler ways), I'm not claiming it is the the most efficient way, or that conquering the world is even a just or desirable thing that would help anything at all. Furthermore I acknowledge that the actions the following plan considers necessary, may very well be considered evil. But anyone with their eye on ruling the whole world surely understands that it would be a naive folly indeed to limit their range of actions to "good" ones if they were to ever make any serious progress.

 

Indeed there are thousands of places one could start, and my initial post I will only be looking at the opening course for this world takeover. After some discussion of how this will progress, with welcome input from other users, the world will eventually be taken over by the completion of this thread. But first it has to start.

 

And it starts in the U.S.A., with a Leader. In the late 80's and early 90's this Leader has been toying with computers, ripe with grandiose philosophies on how to change the world forever by making any and all of the world's information free and amazingly easy to access. They begin working on platform independent programs. Artificial intelligence is the goal for many of these projects, but the Leader fails to reach this goal. But he develops two things: 1- a superior search program with powerful and accurate algorithms and 2- a software that relies on its community to maintain, store, improve and develop information.

 

As the Internet becomes successful, masses of wealth are accumulated (about $9-10 billion a year but increasing) and the Leader carefully develops and expands these endeavors to be on the cutting edge of new technologies and new ways to offer digitized information to everyone. It's not being on the cutting edge that matters, though. All being on the cutting edge means, is being the only one making these kinds of information available. Being the possessor of them. Being the one primary, leading source everyone turns to for their information.

 

The wealth is amassed, and the Leader moves to the Democratic Republic of Congo. He quietly sets up a charity that continually donates to various causes in the Congo, encouraging the violent rebel factions ravaging the country to turn in their guns in exchange for money. This helps stabilize the country.

 

Meanwhile, information systems dominating the internet back in the U.S. and around the world have produced tons of freely available information, and among the information are free digitized books of various educational purposes.

 

In the Congo, the Leader sets up a cheap and inexpensive printing press system he runs out of the basement of his own house, printing inexpensive books that have been produced and released for free on the internet. Most of the ones he prints have to do with personal responsibility. They include:

 

- ways to live self sufficiently and save money

- practical guides to creating goods (i.e. chair making, crop raising)

- information on prevention of sexually transmitted diseases

- books on community values, morals.

 

He hands them out for free to people in various communities. This is to further strengthen the stability of the nation. He also sponsors certain candidates and political movements he prefers, eventually himself becoming very politically influential.

 

The country is transformed, it's populace becomes more efficient and less violent, and wider education programs can be implemented. But the major project has to get started.

 

The Democratic Republic of Congo sits on the Congo River, one of the most condensed and potent natural forces in the world. Only the flow of the Amazon River is stronger. Building a hydroelectric dam on the Congo that fully harnesses the force of this river would generate enough electricity to power not only the entire country, but could fuel all the electricity needs of the neighboring Republic of Congo, any and all bordering nations and could even sell electricity to countries far away as Europe.

 

This idea has long been a treasured but hopelessly far off dream for the people of both Congo's. It would mark the rising of a new and powerful electricity grid, a source of major wealth for the nations and a mountain of power waiting to fuel industry and lend emergence to cities throughout the hemisphere. But for the longest time there has been no way to finance this dream, except by plunging the nation ever further into debt to foreign nations who would then essentially control all the profits and rewards to be reaped from the construction of the dam.

 

It was the Leader who came just in time to prevent the Dem. Rep. of Congo from selling off its' future, volunteering to finance a significant portion of it's construction and put the country in much better bargaining power with interested companies and nations looking to finance the dam's construction. The Leader can only afford to pay about $3 billion (and up to an additional $10 billion over time) of the roughly $50 billion in expenses needed to construct the Congo Dam. But the effect is to commence construction and establish major confidence from outside companies and allow much favorable financing that allows the government a much better negotiation position. Of course, the Leader's eventual goal is to have the Congo Dam revolutionize the region and place the nation in a position of considerable influence, with himself at the center.

 

Developing....

 

For commenters: problems, holes, contradictions, it is welcome for you to point these out, I won't be upset. I will take them seriously, and try to make sure the Leader addresses them as he works to take over the world. Or I'll freely admit if it's a problem that will linger as the conquest progresses. Maybe the Leader will try different things, and maybe they will fail until a new plan can be thought of.

 

But (only catch) nothing which has already been written can be undone or re-done. Have to keep moving forward. So I'm fleshing out this world conquering idea a bit... but I wanted to make sure I got the first part of this idea of mine out on the table for scrutiny.

Edited February 10, 2007 by glenstein (see edit history)

[ghostrider 0]

This was very fun for me to read. Its obviously very well thought out. I think that after the dam is built and the country is debt free or close to it the Leader should run for president, or whatever executive power they have in the Republic of Congo. Considering that he or she brought the Republic of Congo out of debt, I think that the people of Congo would be pleased to have him or her lead there country to further greatness. Once the Leader is in office he or she can really start focusing on taking over the world. Perhaps you should have the Leader increase the price to neighboring countries and some how put them in enough debt to convince them to allow you to buy them and form a bigger Congo all under your control. If I was the Leader, that is what I would do. I would also while I was in office increase the medical technology and education and food in Congo. This will make the people of Congo like you more.

[zak92 0]

I always wondered how to do this so it was fun to read. If you play the game risk it can spoil your brain and also make you want to conquer the world. I do not want to get into these things as a matter of fact i just want to live my ordinary life, pray and after i die i want to go to heaven. I hope i get successful. And as for USA. Its a country of *BLEEP* like seriously even if they like do damages to mosque or destroy the pyramids people will protest for 2 days then George Dubbya will come out and say oh im so sorry on behalf of my troops and their aim missed and all that *BLEEP*. So America has somewhat taken over the world and we saw that in Iraq. Saddam said something against him and he got killed(may god forgive him for his crime) He had committed crimes but not more that the respectable president of USA. I just want to spread message and show people that USA is wrong. Its slowly taking over the world.

[osknockout 0]

I'm amused.

For commenters: problems, holes, contradictions, it is welcome for you to point these out

And point them out I will, thank you very much. Ok, so the Democratic Republic of Congo becomes a nice hegemon in Africa. Won't there be a few concerns about "another power in the region" from the current lords of Africa? Another thing: the place is rich in minerals - gold and other metals, and diamonds. The US already backed a coup under Lumumba back in the 60's because he was appealing to the Soviet Union and didn't give international companies the agreements they wanted over gem trade. Who's the say this won't happen again -say with some other country or by economical sabotage by these corporations? And to finish this off, cultural revolutions take time. I'd say 10 years is a good minimum bound on changing everything in the DRC and implementing all your reforms. Ok, the Great Leader of our Respected Fatherland has brought in reforms and brought electricity to the region! Does he repeat with his neighboring countries or what? Because it'll take a long time for him to take over the world if he's doing this one nation at a time...

 

Ignoring necessary criticisms, I like the topic. Just hoping that no one is crazy enough to follow it though.

[Yratorm, LightMage 0]

IF (big if) I wanted to take over the world, I'd rather develop a fleet of reasonable spaceships and have the whole world at gunpoint. I even have a few ideas on building a reasonably safe, economical and powerful space ship (NOT star-ship, just space ship), so the idea isn't as far fetched as it sounds. If you arm your fleet well and have the element of surprise on your side I'd say you could stand well out in space and take out the military installations of the most powerful nations first, then dictate terms. They might comply, they might argue, but if you can develop a space fleet secretly I'd say you have SOME chance of success. Human weapons don't reach very far space-ward - it is a fatal weakness. If you want to rule earth in this day and age, you must rule space first.Anyway, I have no interest in taking over the world, because if I did, I'd be bound (by the codes I follow) to solve each and every one of it's problems. A leader lives for his people, or he is not worthy to be a leader. Anyway, I'd rather work at solving the worlds problems without being chained to the job, hehehehehhehehhe. - Just a different way of looking at the job of 'kinging it' over humanity

Edited February 12, 2007 by Yratorm, LightMage (see edit history)

[zak92 0]

Not only people want to take over but we need a good selfless leader who will guide out humankind to victory and great advances. Someone not like Hitler but someone who is fair and who doesn't hold any racism or any bad thoughts in his mind. If this is completed then our human race will go to success and we may have technology we may have never thought of before. A world where everyone is rich and no job is a bad job. That is when we have success.

[Matrixdudej 0]

wow lol an evil mastermind lol very amusing to read actually hehe i like this topic

Notice from jlhaslip:

Let's keep the one-liners to a minimum, please.
- Xisto Readme -

[glenstein 0]

And point them out I will, thank you very much. Ok, so the Democratic Republic of Congo becomes a nice hegemon in Africa. Won't there be a few concerns about "another power in the region" from the current lords of Africa? Another thing: the place is rich in minerals - gold and other metals, and diamonds. The US already backed a coup under Lumumba back in the 60's because he was appealing to the Soviet Union and didn't give international companies the agreements they wanted over gem trade. Who's the say this won't happen again -say with some other country or by economical sabotage by these corporations? And to finish this off, cultural revolutions take time. I'd say 10 years is a good minimum bound on changing everything in the DRC and implementing all your reforms. Ok, the Great Leader of our Respected Fatherland has brought in reforms and brought electricity to the region! Does he repeat with his neighboring countries or what? Because it'll take a long time for him to take over the world if he's doing this one nation at a time...

 

Ignoring necessary criticisms, I like the topic. Just hoping that no one is crazy enough to follow it though.

Well, it is true indeed that this would take several years to implement the reforms alone in the D.R. of the Congo, the construction of the Congo Dam itself will take about a decade to complete, and the water flowing through it will carry more force than the dam at Three Gorges in China, the world's largest dam (when completed).

 

As for cultural reforms, the leader was never interested in any, save how culture is reformed by becoming more educated, self sustaining and up to date. The choice wasn't between their well known tradition and some foreign, ugly imposing values telling them to change how they lived. Just better. Just improvement. It's like a beggar being handed free money. Can you really say no?

 

Of course this country has its history, its heritage, and its cultural integrity and is only a "beggar" in the sense that it is crippled in debt accumulated from interest and loans, and in dire need. The people were merely being offered a solution to violence, a way to move forward and out of the chaos that ravaged them. But it is true that there was a culture of opposition that made itself most known through violent rebellion and populist politics (which will be dealt with in the next post). This opposition had to be answered by propaganda, by being declared terrorists and surrounding one side of the conflict with stately legalized formality, but this was a true and major, and long running problem which again, will be covered in the next post.

 

Institutions were built from the ground up, never imposed but flowing freely from the veins of practicality. They took possession of their lumber industry, selling raw materials to their own companies to produce wood and pulp-based products and wherever possible the nation would buy it's own gold, zinc, and other natural resources as well, to convert into other products, effectively swallowing up the other stations of the production line which were getting a free ride on remaking Congo resources.

 

For convenience, the Democratic Republic of Congo and the Republic of Congo decided a merger was necessary. Both nations had claimed ownership of the river and agreements would be much less complicated if they merely became one nation, the Congo. Economically, politically, and in every national way possible they would simply be too intimately tied as nations, to the extent that it would do more harm than good to remain separate entities.

 

More overwhelming than any cultural and political objections, was the exciting and inspiring fact that the new nation would become the economic capital of Africa. And they would.

 

While the dam was being built, understanding and information spread greatly reducing the prevalence of diseases such as aids and malaria. Common knowledge about the seasons and sickness prolonged life expectancies, surpluses of grain were witheld in an inventory to combat the regularly occuring famine season, and refugees from violence of neighboring nations poured into the borders causing the population to boom from 66 million to over 90 million.

 

Before the construction of the dam, many problems could not be answered by money, and so the Leader's printed books were spread as widely as possible (i.e. pumps, tanks and water filters were not made available but information on construction of simple wells, protecting water from infection, the need to store water from the rainy season in anticipation of the dry season, for those with no access to the river... all of this information was widely disseminated). What money the leader could afford to spend, outside of financing the Congo Dam went almost exclusively toward education: recruiting teachers and constructing buildings, to create a new generation of skilled laborers by the millions,

 

After the dam was completed, at the urging of the "Leader", the political groups controlling the Congo shocked and outraged involved corporations and financiers by nationalizing the Congo Dam (seized control of it). In response an ever engulfing web of debt, lawsuits, and fines were being heaped upon the nation. These things went unanswered and unpaid or only paid in miniature fractions of the required amount by the Congo, because they claimed they couldn't afford to pay everything upfront. But in truth, these things were being deliberately disregarded by the Congo. They would eventually declare all debt and fines of any sort which had been crippling the nation totally null and void, but had to wait for a time when this could be done without bringing (economic) warfare down against itself.

 

As it was between the Congos, energy agreements and intimate interconnections developed among neighboring countries- Cameroon, Gabon, Zambia, Tanzania, Sudan and eventually all the way down to South Africa eastto Somalia. This close relation was preferred over making money, and often Congo would deliberately take a loss to show good will toward the other nations and to further establish the ever expanding electricity grid, to only make money when certain regions became stable in the near future. And they would make money, on the hundreds of villages and townships which grew into hundreds of towns and minor cities across the heart of Africa, all dependent on Congo's Hydropower.

 

This bargaining hand also made a significant impact on the nature of the African Union. It just seemed a matter of convenience that every summit between the nations would be held in Kinshasa, the capital of Congo which soon became considered the capital of Africa.

 

Soon the supreme governing body of the union, "The Assembly of the African Union" (the collected heads of states of African Nations) found that they held their yearly meetings in Brazzaville (the capital of the "other" congo before their union). An African Court of Justice was also established in Kinshasa and inevitably the government of the Congo held huge sway over the entirety of the continent.

 

Under the African Union, the Congo (and the Leader) gained an ever stronger grip on other nations of Africa preaching fierce isolation and integration, and it would take merely a decade or so for the reforms, both educational and economic, to spread in at least a skeletal way as Africa became a modernized and integrated super-nation.

 

As this happened classes of labor were born: a hundred-million fold class of unskilled, poor laborers (never paid more than $1.00 an hour) who competed with China and India for the manufacturing business of the first world, giving rise to a small collection of genuinely African based manufacturing corporations. The second was a class of skilled workers (engineers, architects, programmers) and business minds that oversaw and developed the African labor force and infrastructure of the ever more integrated continent.

 

As for the U.S. they would actually support this venture- they were well aware an American billionaire was setting up a charity, transforming and gaining influence in the continent, risking wealth in a way the U.S. government itself never would. Without the hindsight all of you readers have, what would they be worried about? Perhaps the everyday push and pull pressures of politics and economy that all big nations thrust against each other, but nothing more. What were they to suspect?..

 

.... developing.

Edited February 13, 2007 by glenstein (see edit history)

[osknockout 0]

For convenience, the Democratic Republic of Congo and the Republic of Congo decided a merger was necessary.

Hmm... interesting idea, creation of a greater Congo. But I offer some historical trends to consider:Unification by assent seems to only have been treated in a nonhostile manner by small nation-states -or city states such as in the case of Switzerland, and that (correct me if I'm wrong) Jordan and Syria. However, large unifications tend to invoke the ire of many, such as the Anschluss between Austria and Germany (which I still illegal I believe) partly because leaders of one of the governments don't want to share power. So how exactly do they join?

Just improvement. It's like a beggar being handed free money. Can you really say no?

Oh, in that case that wouldn't take too much time. You're right I guess.

Before the construction of the dam, many problems could not be answered by money, and so the Leader's printed books were spread as widely as possible

This one would take a lot of time actually. We're working off a 66% or so literacy rate and self-help. Granted, it brings in self-interest, but it would still take time for coordinated events to occur.

After the dam was completed, at the urging of the "Leader", the political groups controlling the Congo shocked and outraged involved corporations and financiers by nationalizing the Congo Dam (seized control of it). In response an ever engulfing web of debt, lawsuits, and fines were being heaped upon the nation. These things went unanswered and unpaid or only paid in miniature fractions of the required amount by the Congo, because they claimed they couldn't afford to pay everything upfront. But in truth, these things were being deliberately disregarded by the Congo. They would eventually declare all debt and fines of any sort which had been crippling the nation totally null and void, but had to wait for a time when this could be done without bringing (economic) warfare down against itself.

Ok, kind of like Egypt and the Suez Canal. How do we know that nations will not go to war in order to answer their corporations or at least impose some sort of sanction for it? -It'll be hard to have any trade, because Western nations will pressure its neighbors into not trading with the Greater Congo. Even if the US is supporting the Leader, I'm sure its corporations will proceed with economic pressure and other Western countries will follow a more formal action against the "Leader".
I like the development of the Greater Congo. However, it all depends upon harnessing the power of the Congo Dam. That makes it a strong strategic source for anyone wanting to pull off another coup d'etat. Sure the people may go in to protest it, but if an opponent is strong enough to make a police state, it's all over.

What were they to suspect?..

Touche. But I'm sure their historians and politicians will remember the long history of Western interference in Africa.

[amit nigam 0]

hi glenstein,nice post...it was fun to read your post...i m still amazed at the fact that how much of your brain and time you have devoted to this thing...which, most probably, you are not going to do ...by the way i feel that there are many loopholes in your story...sorry to say...though i liked your story very much...but i think it can work better as a fiction novel...the problems i point out here are related to both human psychology and the general ones...i have read so many posts in your topic therefore i dont remember correctly the first one...but i think first problem lies with the starting...i don't know how many people after earning so much that they can , according to you, almost support an entire country, will go out from United States of America and live in Democratic Republic of Congo. i mean give it a thought...you are living a great life in one of the world's best and safest countries with billions around you(dollars)....and then suddenly one day you will say to yourself and your family members that come on we are going to Democratic Republic of Congo...where right now you don't know that when some mercenaries will shoot you...where you don't have any facilities provided by government...ok you can have most of the facilities through your money...but still not all...then having people give up weapons for some charity is easier said than done...the problem is when people are illiterate they don't have a sense of their own...i live in India and i know why idiotic political parties like congress, dmk, rld etc just dangle out the carrot of reservation policy and not do anything to actually educate and elevate people...because as long as they know that their voters are illiterate they can just turn them in any direction ....because illiterates dont think from their mind but from the minds of their so called 'leaders'....my point is that when our 'leader' starts giving charity those people will oppose who are the already present leaders of Democratic Republic of Congo...because they know that although their country is very poor..under huge debt,people are dying all over...but still they can have much more power and money if they are the leader than accepting your charity and have you become the leader...and if they are not satisfied then they will just tell the story to those illiterates in such a way that, although they will benefit from our 'leader', they will start believing that whatever our leader is doing for them is wrong...i will give you a real life example...in india right now governments of different states are setting up SEZ's(special economic zones) for the setting up of industries etc...so what happens is that they have to get some agricultural land cleared up and then give it to the industrialists to build up...after which the people displaced get huge benefits in terms that they get jobs, their area gets advanced, their living standard therefore rises...but at most places, as presently is happening in Singur, people of the region oppose this...why??? ...because if there is a conflict of interest with local politicians on any issue, which almost always happens since these idiot politicians have no work but to stall ongoing work at any palce, then they just tell the public, which is mostly illiterate, that its not good for you and all that blah..blah...blah...and they trust them ...thats why i was saying that its not that easy to give charity and get people give up their arms...or habits...then when the leader prints out books then before that he must ensure that most of the people are literate enough that they can read...i dont know about Democratic Republic of Congo, but i know that their are far too many people in India who cannot read...and i think India is considered way better than Democratic Republic of Congo....and this , educating people, i can tell you surely will take a very long time....and i dont know whether our leader has that much patience or not... but still i would like to say that i liked your post very much and i very very much appreciate your thoughtful mind...i think one day you can, if not the "Leader", definitely become a great novelist or scriptwriter or something like that...but i will add to your story in next post...though it is flawed but it is still too good to be left..and i urge all others also to keep writing...ok...bye...may our "Leader" succeed in his good deeds..

[Yratorm, LightMage 0]

Incidentally, there's also Murphy's law - if something can go wrong, it will.How about someone who the Greater Congo 'disregards' or 'ignores' getting his revenge by blowing up the dam itself? Right, dams are not easy things to blow up, but we're talking 'if's' here on such a large scale here that the idea of blowing up the dam seems relatively minor in comparison. And if someone does do that, there goes the great leader's plan right out the window at one 'blow'.The plan is limited, both temporally, geographically, and in it's consideration of all the things that could possibly go wrong.

[glenstein 0]

Thanks for the great input from you all, I will be up for an update this week that addresses some of the very challenging and very legitimate concerns raised.

For now a quick response to a quick and isolated problem, probably as fleeting and to the side as my mind is at present which is why I bother to answer it and not other concerns (yet).

i don't know how many people after earning so much that they can , according to you, almost support an entire country, will go out from United States of America and live in Democratic Republic of Congo.

No, no! Just the Leader, only he moved out to the DR of C. All the people who came into the country were refugees from the tribal violence of nearby African countries, not the U.S! They have plenty of football to watch and politics to be outraged about over there and the U.S. has issued multiple consumer warnings to not fly to the Congo because of how unsafe it is (was). The Congo itself was a host to a plethora of its own displaced refugees among many from neighboring countries, and the whole region has a history of destabilization, refugeeism and thus (im)migration. It was these Africans who would come to the Congo and increase it's population.

and i urge all others also to keep writing...

hey... you heard him! Edited February 17, 2007 by glenstein (see edit history)

[mojoman 0]

hehe! that was 1 good plan bro... very well planned and all. I never knew about the whole river electricity thing in congo...thats BS!!! if that could potentially save all of africa, why arent the idiots at the G8 summit building it?? surely THAT would end poverty in africa!

 

anyway back on topic......iv'e had my own idea of taking over the world, though its much more simple and there are probably much more catches...also, its not very peaceful and much more evil

 

ingredients:

1 evil genius

a group of loyal international friends (like yours, the interent would play a big role in this)

1 Keen ambitious chinese political genius

1 Keen ambitious chinese military fanatic

1 keen ambitious american spy fanatic

1 keen ambitious american military fanatic

1 keen ambitious british spy fanatic

1 keen ambitious british political genius

1 keen ambitious russian political genius

1 keen ambitious russian spy fanatic

1 keen ambitious russian military fanatic

various criminal organisation contacts in all of the above countries

 

Execution of the plan:

 

You become an american citizen, if your not one already...you work your way up the political ladder.....eventually becoming president!

in the meantime, all your fanatic buddies are rising to the top of THEIR ladders....any1 who gets in their way, the criminals send suicide hitmen against...it wont matter if they get caught, when the political geniuses become leaders of the said country, they will be let out!

NOTE: Contact must be kept up with the political geniuses, so that they run for president/prime minister at exactly co-inciding times!

eventually.....

you are president of the USA

the chinese military fanatic is the head of the chinese military

the chinese political genius is chairman of china

the american military fanatic is the

the british political genius is PM of the ul

the british spy fanatic is head of MI5

the american military fanatic is the chairman of the joint chiefs

the american spy fanatic is head of the CIA

the russian military fanatic is the commander of the russian military

the russian spy fanatic is the head of the russian intelligence agency (dunno what its called nowadays lol)

 

now, you and your buddies are the ultimate powers in military, wealth, and shady stuff

1 by 1, u "liberate" other countries.....why liberate them? because they have bad leaders...who are these bad leaders? agents from your intelligence agencies of course!

if any newspaper guy, or any1 gets in your way, first you can send your criminal contacts after them, aided in secret...by your secret services! you could even intimidate newspapers to work for you! like emperor palpatine, you would control the law and the criminals....you could even stage events with your criminal buddies where they get "arrested" and are in all the papers so that YOU look good! the possibilites are endless!

anyway, though this sounds evil, the ends justify the means, and when you and your buddies have sucessfully "liberated" all their said areas....(UK liberates europe, scandinavia, and africa, russia liberates the middle east, china liberates japan and asia, the USA liberates mexico, the carribbean, australia, and the pacific islands) .....you will then be free to do whatever you want! make wars a thing of the past, destroy poverty, etcetera etcetera.....

 

well that's my plan...discuss!

[osknockout 0]

Wow.

mojoman: let's be a little nicer to the G8. I mean, I'm no exact fan of them myself, but I doubt they could just rush into the DRC and build a dam. Consider how much it would be costing to make a HUGE dam in an unstable area with no foreseeable profit in the future - and the chance of nationalization being rather possible too. Evil plan indeed. Although I think it's so evil that eventually one of them will backstab the others. And there's a few variables that can't exactly be guaranteed. E.g. becoming president of the United States. You might as well flip a coin sometimes. And even when that happens I doubt that no one will catch censoring of the press like that in the US. And... the UK 'liberates' the rest of Europe? Germany's at least plausible, but... the UK? The little island nation that juts out of Western Europe? Sure about that one?

 

And I'm waiting for glenstein's post till I bother to say anymore on our *other* world domination plan.

[wassie 0]

i would recruit like, mentally perfect penguins and sea turtles.they will fight for me and we will take over the world together...yeah this will work!cause they can throw like milk and stuff... and soft things, and they can cuddle you to death...fear me...