Media/shallowness

[kev2310 0]

k

Edited April 20, 2008 by kev2310 (see edit history)

[Yratorm, LightMage 0]

Well, kev2310, I agree with you completely. It's what a person IS and what a person DOES that counts.However, most parameters for sexual attraction could be termed 'animal instincts' and these instincts have been developed over thousands of years. As a matter of fact, they are indeed perhaps unnecessary and outdated in modern human culture. Nevertheless, many humans, while agreeing with you intellectually, might have difficulty putting that into practice, because the instincts are so built into their very genes.There ARE those who DO put your philosophy into practice, of course - choosing a mate based solely on what the person IS, rather than on simple physical attraction.But what I think many people search for is for someone who satisfies both the parameters of intellect/personality/kindness, etc. AS WELL AS the parameters of pure physical attraction. The so called 'perfect mate' And if they can't find such a person, they try to find the closest to that ideal that they can.Hmm, stating the obvious? Hehe, perhaps I am, at that - my sincere apologies.

[Avalon 1]

I think the big question is what sort of relationship are we talking about here? If the attraction is purely sexual then chances are the relationship will not be a very long one. This may not be a bad thing, as both in relationship may be looking for that type of relationship, just to have some fun. If this is the case, then not much thought needs to go into the relationship. If however, one of the two in relationship is looking for a long term relationship, then sexual attraction alone will last the distance. I think is where a lot of people make the mistake when entering in to what they think is going to be a long terms relationship, they misinterpret the intentions of the other person that really only wants a short term relationship. Trying to keep the relationship going in the long term where the only real initial attraction was sexual, will usually fail. A successful long term relationship, (I have a 23 year marriage), is actually based less on the sexual attraction and more on the intellectual attraction. This sort of attract stands the test time, for me anyway.What I am trying to say here is, being shallow in a relationship is not always a bad thing, if that is the way both people view the relationship.

[zyzzyvette 0]

I don't think it's men's fault for the way some women view their bodies; although there are some men out there who won't date you unless you're 80 lbs with a beach ball chest, these guys seem fairly easy to avoid (and not at all worth dating in the first place!). Most men's magazine models are curvier than women's models... still pretty skinny, but most aren't anorexic-gross- the model I find the most disgusting is the Olay Ribbons girl. They show her pretty much naked, and you can not only see her ribs but her spinal cord shows through her skin as well- and this is some women's idea of beauty! I think that the anorexia problem is more the fault of society in general, rather than 'the media' (who's just trying to sell magazines) or a gender group. People like the idea of being in an exclusive group, so we create artificial rules about who is beautiful to make it more exclusive. Its obvious to me that these rules are artificial just because of the way they change over time. Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, which is actually even bigger than a size 16 woman today, because of clothing companies' policy of "vanity sizing". And of course there's the Renaissance girls. Really, anyone that takes care of their appearance to a reasonable degree (dressing in flattering clothing, good grooming) can look beautiful, regardless of their weight, coloring, etc. A good example of this is the Dove commercials. Every woman in them is gorgeous- beautiful hair, soft skin, etc. They all have their own "flaws" that would prevent them from being "conventionally beautiful" by today's standards- some are overweight, small-breasted, mohawked, retirement-aged, etc.

[cangor 0]

Yeah. I think it's just lame when women plaster themselves with makeup or get a breast augmentation or whatever. People like that just feel insecure and think they'll be more accepted if they look better. Unfortunately, that's sorta true in today's society, but it's still pathetic.

[roseysaidwhat 0]

I think everything (including the actual person) attributes to the image of what "beauty" is.Makeup commericals and ads make makeup very enticing.You see this girl being transformed into a sexy, attractive women.So women think, "I hope that can happen for me."There really needs to be some positive reinforcement out there. I think it's time for people, not always the media, to step up and say everyone is beautiful for who they are.But we also have to think about men who also have low self-esteem too.Especially teenages in all cases.

[CinnamorollTK 0]

Now this i do not understand how people these days feel the need to be so self consumed by the notion that other people are better looking than them, and so they feel abliged to try and make themselves be prettier. As this is mainly a woman or girls problem, because everywhere in the media girls and woman are ebign displayed as thin and beautifull, so they feel they will not be accpeted if they are not like that. These kind of things can lead to such things like anorexia. Also from a mans piont of veiw we also put pressure on women to be beautifull and better looking as we seem to surround us with those kind of people, we look for a relationship in those whom we are sexually attracted to, even though that denies the piont of a proper relationship, as it shouldnt matter what somebody looks on the outside, its who they are that counts. Also i am sure that feeling self consios and that you are not good looking can lead to depression and maybe even suicide. I for one do not concern myself with how a woman looks, only the women themselves and i think that if we all did that, this would be a much better world.

The first thing is that boys and men seem to make it worse. I say "boys" since some guys will not date a girl unless she looks perfect. (Somewhat funny when many of these guys can't get a date in the first place, and then reject the one chance they may have of a date in years.) I was wondering when women would get a turn to say to men "When are you going to shave, get fit, and get your hair done?" Either we both suffer or we end this whole shallow thing within this decade. I hate having to do so much exercise just to stay under a size 8, and keep a pedometer on me at all times.

[Roconza 0]

I gave trying to live up to the unbelievably high standard in which I as a woman am expected to live up too because we keep pushing are selves only to have the bar raised even higher to the level that we can't reach that are inhumanly possible.For what? so are boyfriends can leave us for a even better looking woman.I feel if a man can except me for what I am.I take care of my looks for my own happiness and to feel good not for any body else.