frank1 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2007 i was getting on well with this girl all summer going on afew dates together she came round to my place i went round to hers, nothing more than kissing. (sex aint my worry). she moved abroad for 5 years after summer only to return at christmas and summer vacation. when talking to her i said i thought about her all the time and i still felt the same way. she said she feels the same. she returned home and we got on really well again, like in summer. with only seeing her for 4 months of the year at the most for the next 5 years i dont know what i should do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tuddy 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 You have to decide what is going to happen with your relationship, you can't have it both ways. Your either great friends with each only, or you both feel for each other in a greater way.If you like this girl, still her outright, which i believe from what you say she knows you like her, and commit to a relationship with her, that is the first step, the second is dealing with the distance.It depends on the circumstances you are in, would you ever consider moving abroad to be with her? Or would she give up what she is doing to be home with you? Or can you both handle having a long-distance relationship.I can't stress though that you both need to sort out what relationship you both have, if she see's nothing between you two now, she could end up finding someone else abroad and she may not ever return, or return with him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mich 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 Before giving you any advise, I would need to know how old you two are. This has a great impact of where I (and probably anybody else) would come from with my thoughts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
communitykat 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 Sounds great. I say live in romanitc torture for the time she is away, date other people while away for social, mental and physical health, and if love is love, someday you will both be together in a more seriously committed relationship. Before giving you any advise, I would need to know how old you two are. This has a great impact of where I (and probably anybody else) would come from with my thoughts. Nice Quotes! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tuddy 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 Sounds great. I say live in romanitc torture for the time she is away, date other people while away for social, mental and physical health, and if love is love, someday you will both be together in a more seriously committed relationship.Nice Quotes! What happens if: He dates other people fins someone just as amazing as this girl, and starts to date her, they form a relationship, then this other girl come back after 2-3 years and is he expected to choose between the two or drop everything for the other girl or stay with the new girl, its going to get very complicated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gatecrasher 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 it is very hard for a long distance relationship and seeing the most important girl in your life often seldom..i think the best way you can do is to have a constant communication with her in a letter or having a call with her..communication plays a great role in a relationship... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank1 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 Before giving you any advise, I would need to know how old you two are. This has a great impact of where I (and probably anybody else) would come from with my thoughts. hey there. we are both 20 and both at university. thats why she is abroad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tuddy 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 hey there. we are both 20 and both at university. thats why she is abroad. That there creates a bigger problem because your at uni and can't just leave, and she is at uni and can't just leave, and uni is the biggest 'meeting' ground there is besides parties i say. All you can do is follwo my orginal advice of deciding wether its a full pledged relationship, and have that very regular contact with her while she is away, even if its emailing by day at uni, phone calls at night etc. and letters with flowers or smalll prezzies attached. Something that will make her remember you as the best guy in the world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mich 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2007 (edited) Oh so, you are both young adults. I agree with the keeping in touch advice. There is really nothing you can do to guarantee you will both feel the same in the years to come, even if you were not apart. People usually mature into different personalities as they grow older. What seems to fit right now, may not fit at all over time. By keeping in touch, you will be able to tell if you are beginnng to grow apart or together. This will be a trying time emotionally for both of you, but in the future you will know if this relationship is one worthy of committment. Unfortunately, the best advice I can come up with is wait and see. Borrowing the old cliche'; Time will tell. You will both be experiencing other and different kinds of relationships while you are apart, just by mere exposure to fellow classmates. Good Luck! Edited January 5, 2007 by Mich (see edit history) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tuddy 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2007 Mich is quite right. In this context of this topic being at Uni isn't godd for it either. From my limited experiences with friends/family/relationships etc places like School/Uni/Work mould people different way, and people change more then they would if not there. They also change in different ways at uni to the way you would at work.Many Uni Students would go from Party-Animal to a mature young person who knows to knuckle down to pass. Unfortunly with this relationship may suffer a great as well. Its going to depend on your and hers mentaility/work style etc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EndlessHate 0 Report post Posted January 7, 2007 If you can manage without her for a few months and have no feeling at all to cheat or even think about cheating give it all you got. But long distance relationship you gotta think for the future because thats all you really have when you cant spend the time you got now with them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
communitykat 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2007 What happens if: He dates other people fins someone just as amazing as this girl, and starts to date her, they form a relationship, then this other girl come back after 2-3 years and is he expected to choose between the two or drop everything for the other girl or stay with the new girl, its going to get very complicated. Well, here he has to be careful. If he cares deeply for this girl, then he must always keep that in the back of his mind, and keep his "dating" in control. Dating can be fun, but one must practice self control. If one cannot do this then most likely one will not ever have a good love relationship. It is a game that needs to be practiced (and like I keep saying...can be very fun if one does not get too serious). It IS complicated, but one has to know what one wants and make appropriate dicisions. (I am a crappy speller) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tuddy 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2007 Oh thats what i must lack, self control. I either deeply care about a person or i don't. I am not sure wether it is just me or not but i can't turn on or off how much i care i like someone. He'd have to state his intentions to whoever he meet, otherwise then he would be starting to 'play' her and i just ind it could get difficult, but i understand where you are comming from. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
communitykat 0 Report post Posted January 8, 2007 As a woman I deeply care about a lot of people. I am actually much the same...cut and dry...I like you a lot or I don't. I love sooo many people, but loving people does not mean marrying them, or having sex with them (there are lots of things one can do without breaking the gate). This is where self control comes in, and the fun. I had a love that was very similar to the one being noted on here. Still, I always think of what would have happened if I had played my cards right...if either of us had. I think we would be very happy and have made a great team, but we did not have self control or great guidance from anyone. His name was Michael and I met him at Long Beach Island. He was perfectly beautiful with long black hair, very intellegent and the fastest at backgammon. We had a great two weeks when I was 17, no sex, not even a kiss. We wrote letters for years, and then one day he stopped. He hooked up with a girl (who recently cheated on him and they broke up ...2006). I have been in 3 long term relationships since then, and none as good of a fit as he was. When I was free, he was in a relationship... when he was free I was in a relationship, (I didn't have self control, I threw my self and my sex into every one from the getgo). We always lived across the country from one another. The last time I talked to him was about a year ago...I am 27 now. We will always seek each other out, I am sure. My husband knows all about him, and there is no way to get him out of my life. He is great and I love him. I don't have to be married to him, but maybe I should have. Self control. I do not LOVE him anymore, but I still love him. I want to impress on young people who are in the same situation that love is everything outside of marriage and sex. It is a connection, a lasting connection of understanding, forgivness and generosity. Once you get serious you are closing a door. Until you are sure...leave all of your doors open...p.s. that is the fun part. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
