Kids what about em =D

[soulju 0]

Whew life sure isnt easy, but throw some kids in the mix and <WHAM> everything gets crazy... Im the kinda guy that lives life day to day, pay check to pay check, one step at a time... Now my g/f's daughter is 3 and my daughter is quickly aproaching the 9 month milestone. Maaaan that *BLEEP* is tough. I find myself wondering what to do with the free time I do have and how to spend it. I try to make more time to relax but the I get yelled at. They've put a hella strain on the relationship my g/f and I had.. We were fine with her daughter now with our daughter its compounded it 10 fold. Dunno what to do.. Sometimes I find myself resenting them and thinking that they've ruined my life and sometimes im the proudest parent in the world.. Kinda like the kids have made me bi-polar or somthing.. It's almost like I look forward to going to my *BLEEP* job at dominoes pizza every night just to catch a break from the hellions. Anyone have some advice on how to handle this? I know it isn't going to be easy or anything but I never thought it would have been this hard.

[Hadi 0]

Taking care of children especially babies, is one of the hardest jobs in the world.You are having a tough life do you work? If you work how can you handle taking care of the baby and working at the same time?You should hire a nanny, but I don't think it will be enough.This period is only couple of years they will pass by, but the person have to be patient, and never ''put his anger in his children'' That is said really bad, but if you get the point.Do you girlfriend help you taking care of your child? She doesn't have too, it is your responsability, don't complain about it, or if for one second you forget to watch your little baby, something bad could happened. When I was a little baby (about 5 months) my mom left me one day on the balcony alone I was in the baby chair, then my 5 years old sister came to shake my chais gentely, but she accidentally flipped the chair over and I became upside down, my sister was shocked she didn't knew that she had to flip me again, so she ran away. Then 10 minutes latter my mom passed to say hello, she flipped me over right away and went to my sister to punish her, but was it my sister's fault? It was my mother's, I could have easily died in this accident I mean a 5 kilograms chair on a little baby's body isn't something light. So you see one little moment of distraction and something bad can happen, you complain the time you want, but when it is about taking care of your baby the complaining time is over, this is a serious job not a game. It it needs more energy than the job of an engineer.

[jlhaslip 4]

Yes, both a blessing and a curse.Patience is required. And you now have no free time. The Kids will steal it all from you, but that is not a bad thing. Simply accept the fact that they are not going to go away, that you have no free time and that if you don't place their interests and well being first and foremost, you will be digging yourself into a deep, deep hole.As for the girlfriend, you don't mention whether she works or not, but assume she does for a moment and it would be nice of you to come home and relieve some pressure from her day. Take the kids to a park or to the grocery store. Get to know them and let them know that you can be a good, fun guy. Let them into your space and the rewards will return to you one hundred fold in the long run. And it would be a blessing for the girlfriend to be able to enjoy a quiet moment in her day, too.Now assume that she does not work. Same thing applies.And the best part about all this is that you and the kids get to enjoy some time with each other. That would be great for the kids and although you don't recognize it now, good for you. The point of all this is that you must change your lifestyle because you now have more than yourself to concern yourself with (other than your own "relaxing"). The kid's well-being and aceptance of themselves (and you) will be best served by you being attentive and not resentful towards them. You will have ample opportunity later to relax. Right now just isn't a good time to be self-centred. Give of yourself a bit. Believe me. It will be worth the time and effort in the long term. Speaking from my experience.

[Avalon 1]

Your life as you knew it is now gone. This is a new phase, that if you want to make it work, will require a lot of effort. I have 3 kids, a 20 year old and twin 16 year olds. It has been a hard road but my wife and I have managed to survive without killing each other or the kids. As jhaslip said, you cannot be self-centred, both your girlfriend and the kids need you, and I mean really need you. Your girlfriend and your kids need to become the center of your universe, everything in your life should revolve around them.Your girlfriend and you will have times where you need to work together and other times where you need time for yourselves, part of the trick is to make sure that the time spent for yourselves is done by agreement with each other. You can't just 'go out with the boys' for example any time you like, you need to do it when it works in with what your girlfriend is doing. And your girlfriend will also need to get away from you and the kids every now and then, again, she will need to make sure it fits in with what you are doing. Also don't forget that both of you need to spend time as a couple together away from the kids, this is what babysitters are for.Whether you like or not, all of you are a family now and it's good idea to do things as a family as much as possible. If you are going out, take the kids with you, sure it's not easy with the amount of stuff you have to take with you, but it does get easier. Doing things as a family will provide you with some of your best memories in years to come.Kids are hard work and can be frustrating, but the good times will outweigh the bad. Try to enjoy the experience.

[sweet_princess 0]

Wow, I love kids, I would never ever regret having one. They're like a blessing really. But don't have one until you're married.Get a better job mate, you should have gone to college and you could have gotten a decent job so your kids could have someone to look up to, not a pizza delivery boy.See this is what I hate, people ruin thier lives by not going to college and getting an education and having children before they are married. Do yourseld a favour and get married to her. Why can't you just LEARN. Girls dig doctors. I would never go out with a guy that has a crappy job. Try becoming a pilot or work in the airport. Become an accountant, just work in a decent place man! Anywhere but a pizza shop

[soulju 0]

thanks for the feedbacks well here is a little more info on my situation, my g/f works during the day and i work at night... i am actually a very good carpenter, i was liscensed and insured in the state of maryland where i worked for my self, i ran a small company called Intelligent Building Solutions (IBS) and now i just moved to pennsylvania and i am no longer liscensed... it just so happens that i have to watch them during the day and she watches them at night. works this way so we dont have to pay for a baby sitter =D im not a pizza delivery boy i am a carpenter and a damn good one, i can build anything. but at this point in life ive had to come up with a job that will work with my schedule and it just so happens to be delivering pizzas, and its not bad money either.. with tips and gas and hourly its around $13-$15 an hour, its not alot of money or anything but its enough to get by. I am not a deadbeat or an idiot... i am a very capable man and provider... just at this point things are rough... dont want you thinking im some moron or anything ya know what im sayin =P just a thought hehe