What A Lousy Piece Of Poop

[Justin 0]

Alright, so I have to go to the bathroom. I have to take a Poop more specifically. Now then, here comes the rant. If there is anything more painful in the world than giving birth, it would probably be taking a Poop. Why must sitting my butt on a freezing cold toilet seat and then taking the most god awful Poop that burns my butt with the righteous fury of thirty hells rolled into one? Now, I'm not prejuidice against normal, lumpy Poop. I'm talking about the Poop that comes shooting out of my butt at 300 mph. Not only does it burn through my hole as it comes flying out, it burns my butt for the next few hours. Don't even get me started on the smell. Gosh darn, if anything smelt worse than this kind of defication, it would be the sweet, soury smell of ripe poop when I'm sick. And the mess. I really hate it the most when the Poop shoots into the bowl then pulls a 180 right back at my butt with the added pleasure of toilet water on my cheeks. Do I wipe? Darn straight, but since the Poop has a way of smelling so horrid and sticking to my hand to the point of which I have to bathe that hand for several hours, with the added pleasure of trying to cover the smell up with some form of stink remover drives me up the walls.

Edited August 8, 2006 by Justin (see edit history)

[brandice 0]

hmm... first of all. Nice job with the title. People will know exactly what they are getting into. I didn't get past the "more painful than giving birth" bit.try passing a kidney stone. That's the only thing I've heard that could compare to the pain of childbirth.I'm thinking you should try changing your diet. Fiber. Water. Get some exercise. Read a book about teddy bears and rainbows.

[JasperIk 0]

Alright, so I have to go to the bathroom. I have to take a Poop more specifically. Now then, here comes the rant. If there is anything more painful in the world than giving birth, it would probably be taking a Poop. Why must sitting my butt on a freezing cold toilet seat and then taking the most god awful Poop that burns my butt with the righteous fury of thirty hells rolled into one? Now, I'm not prejuidice against normal, lumpy Poop. I'm talking about the Poop that comes shooting out of my butt at 300 mph. Not only does it burn through my hole as it comes flying out, it burns my butt for the next few hours. Don't even get me started on the smell. Gosh darn, if anything smelt worse than this kind of defication, it would be the sweet, soury smell of ripe poop when I'm sick. And the mess. I really hate it the most when the Poop shoots into the bowl then pulls a 180 right back at my butt with the added pleasure of toilet water on my cheeks. Do I wipe? Darn straight, but since the Poop has a way of smelling so horrid and sticking to my hand to the point of which I have to bathe that hand for several hours, with the added pleasure of trying to cover the smell up with some form of stink remover drives me up the walls.

Maybe you should get that checked out? I mean i didn't really read it all, because i have better things to do then read about somebody's bowel issues. But seriously, if you have so many problems you should change your diet, or see a doctor, or just chill out and deal with it. I highly doubt its as bad as giving birth to a baby, or atleast as painful, its not like you are having a watermelon out of your bum, and if you are....then thats tragic.

[Mich 0]

Only a guy would compare painful pooping to childbirth. Don't even go there my friend; until you have given birth. The second worst pain I have experienced is passing gall stones. Haven't had any trouble with kidney stones, but can imagine it is equal in pain to gall stones.

 

I agree with others, if you are having that much pain and suffering from such a normal function of life, you need to be checked out by a doctor. What you are describing is projectile defication. This is NOT normal. One usually has this when they are sick, especially with the stomach flu. Sounds like you have at the very least irritable bowel syndrome.

[BooZker 0]

HAHA. I can't believe you posted this. Pooping, in my opinion, is the most painful natural thing for a male. I wish i never had to poo. If it is that painful though you should get that checked out because i have poops like that once in awhile, but if you have that everytime then you should see a doctor.Good Luck!

[leiaah 0]

Umm, does that happen always? There must be something wrong if you're always having constipation. It is true what they said- have yourself checked out because you really never know. I've had constipation before and my mother always told me to eat more fruits and food with lots of fiber. It really works - I've noticed that I developed a regular bowel movement after that and I feel light and clean inside. Anyways, my mother had gall stones before and she had undergone surgery and all and I know it was very painful because I've seen her suffer from it. And I had a monthly curse of dysmenorrhea and it's comparable to giving birth (if not worse). -By the way, still can't believe you posted this topic! lol!

[iGuest 3]

I have been through childbirth and believe me.. I would rather poop and hurt for 1-2 hours than go through 12 hours of labor and then rip whrn the child comes out, get stitched up, and bleed for the next 6 weeks. So if you ever are sitting on the toilet for 12 hours trying to poop then once it comes out you tear your rectum, then maybe you can compare it to childbirth. In the meantime lube your anus with anbesol.-Beth

[iGuest 3]

I would seriously get this checked on, I'm sure tho you could have typed this less gruesomely. But everything you have said seems to me like gallstones, I currently have gallstones one is trapped in my bile duct therefore causing jaundice and destructing my bowel movement, which I would describe not as much painful but foul smelling and a itching/burning feeling thereafter with no sold bowel movement. Try a Hot bath after it usually works wonders. But you really need to get this checked out it, if it is gallstones it could be life threatening.

-reply by tash