Girlfriend Moving/parent Problems forced by parents..*angry*

[rejected 0]

My girlfriend is moving in around a month. She's going to some hick town around two hours away, and her parents won't give her any other choice. Her mom is going to be staying here, working a night job, and then my girlfriend and her STEPdad are going to be down in some tiny little town where he's going to teach. My girlfriend's older sister and uncle both live with the mom, and they won't allow her to stay there. They're so tunnel visioned and won't listen to what she has to say, and it makes me want to knock some sense into them. They're so ignorant when it comes to their daughter's feelings, and it's really effecting her life. Her birthday was two days ago, and her parents forgot about it. They didn't wish her a happy birthday until the next day, and didn't think it would matter to her if it were a day late or not. Her parents piss me off so much, they need to realize they're messing with their daughter's life, she's going to be a junior in a brand new highschool in some new school at only has 150 attending. She's going to have to leave pretty much her entire life behind, and then at that, it's going to hurt our relationship, because I'll only be able to drive out and see her on weekends. Stupid parents, they need to learn something about parenting.

[terminal2k 0]

it can be very hard for children to adjust to new places and people but its not impossible, and she may even end up enjoying it more than where she is now. forgetting your kids birthday is a bit harsh tho, most parents would never do that.

[MaineFishing45 0]

Well that really sucks rejected, I don't have a girlfriend right now, but sorry about that. What state do you live in BTW? Because I live in VA, and am moving to MA, which is such a relief, everybody down here is obsessed with hunting and shooting things, and have horrible english. :ph34r:But to your point and stuff, can your girl stay with you, ever ask your parents that? Because if you are really serious with that, it might work out to your favor? Ask your parents if she can live @ your house or something.... but then the stepdad might go nuts. Its a tangled mess that only time can fix. Good luck, best wishes.

[rejected 0]

I live in Texas, and her parents won't allow her to move in with me, I've already asked. It's pretty hard to be moving your junior year, especially.But yeah, in less than two years time she will be moving out of her parent's house and in with me, or so we have planned.

[ink 0]

I guess there is no real solution for this, all I can say is: enjoy your weekends with her to the fullest, and motivate her to make it, her new 'life', as fun as possible Two years will probably pass very soon!

[Mich 0]

As a parent of a once teenaged girl, I think the obvious thing here is that her parents are trying to get her away from you. She is well uh, 16 maybe and you are ___? Yes, I know that you and she think that you have the solution to all possible problems. Well, heads up. Your problems would just begin if she were to move in with you. This time of separation will either make or break your relationship. If your relationship is good, loving, caring and lasting, you have nothing to worry about. The distance will give you time to think more clearly about your future together. My goodness, with all the modern day communications available, you won't be any farther apart than your puter or cell. The time, believe it or not, will go by quicker than you think. Then you will have your whole lives ahead of you to be together. Good Luck! And do drive carefully running back and forth weekends.

[Chatz 0]

Im a relationship shrink ive stuided to be one for 3 years,If I may please let me give you some advise.You two "might" even be liveing far away from each other. That can be a very good thing - or a very bad thing depending on how you handle it. If she's logic and you're emotion, that's going to make for some very challenging times indeed! It's far better to have a balance between calm and controlled emotion as you both not only need to get your own needs met, but you also need to be able to understand (and sometimes adopt) the other's point of view. Being on such opposite sides of the fence may create great tension between you,her and her parents. I first suggest that you both work on this as a goal in your relationship; to gain a better handle on the other's methods to understanding and dealing with both joys and problems within the relationshipWith regards to moving in together, let's consider a few points:First of all, you mentioned that "...two hours away seems like a long time..." My question is: for what? Do you think that you need to move in together or be married simply because of the passage of time? That's very short-sighted in my humble. Living together, dating, marriage, etc., are not "relationships". They are FORMATS of relationships! Do you understand the difference? It's a critical distinction. The format has nothing whatsoever to do with the quality other than the more "tight" the format the greater the conflicts in a less-than-perfect relationship; and let's face it - there is no perfect relationship! I would strongly urge you to forget the timeframes and focus on the quality instead. Make decisions for your relationship based on what you want to grow or change - not because a certain amount of time away from eachother.Things like moving in together and even getting married isn't going to realy solve your distance problem. This is internal - not external. It's just as easy for one person to cheat when living together or being married as it is when you're just dating or again living away from eachother. That's not going to solve your distance issue; and in fact, it may even make it worse. When tensions arise in the relationship are you going to assume that she's out with other men? I can assure you that they will arise as that's part of being under the same roof. Insecurities need to be handled before you consider such a drastic change in your relationship format.All in all, the reasons for moving in together should stem from having a terrific, solid relationship in the first place and both parties wanting to grow all those good things. It should never be done (nor should marriage) in order to solve other problems. It exists for its own benefit and for its own reasons.You dn't have to take my advise.Just think about it.

Edited July 21, 2006 by Chatz (see edit history)

[wooha123 0]

As a parent of a once teenaged girl, I think the obvious thing here is that her parents are trying to get her away from you. She is well uh, 16 maybe and you are ___? Yes, I know that you and she think that you have the solution to all possible problems. Well, heads up. Your problems would just begin if she were to move in with you. This time of separation will either make or break your relationship. If your relationship is good, loving, caring and lasting, you have nothing to worry about. The distance will give you time to think more clearly about your future together. My goodness, with all the modern day communications available, you won't be any farther apart than your puter or cell. The time, believe it or not, will go by quicker than you think. Then you will have your whole lives ahead of you to be together. Good Luck! And do drive carefully running back and forth weekends.

 

You gotta do what ya gotta do....

[neuspadrin 0]

Wow, very unfortunate.I've moved around quite a bit myself from time to time, I even have been through three high schools between freshman and sophmore year (what joys.. not)and the fact that they would move her as a junior just seems.. stupid. I mean, i made my parents promise not to move again after sophmore year, it just gets so incredibly hard to transition into new schools. This is especially hard with small schools (you said 150? dang.. SMALL!!) because those kids most likely have known eachother since they were in kindergarden and have some pretty deep bonds. You become an outcast in a way because they probably wont be that accepting. not to mention credits and such can start to get confusing and make things worse after sophmore year, to a point where you cant really even make up for it.I think the fact they decide to move her now like this seems odd, they should jsut wait 2 years before doing the move, i mean, the mother seems to still be in the same town, why not let her stay around too. as for moving together: thats a no... you even suggest that the parents probably would freak out and move for sure. the 2 hour car trip isnt as bad as it can seem (except with current gas prices), but ive had a friend who did fine in a relationship with a girl 2 hours way.. the phone became his new best friend often , and weekends he'd drive down to visit (or she would come visit him). One thing to take into consideration: find a town midway, he often met her at a city that was 1 hour from both of them, making it a much more tolerable drive.

[garbage 0]

well that has definately have to suck, especially since you probably have no influence on the paretns or the familyeitehr way i wish you both luck and I hope you guys can find a way to keep the relationship going good