Friendship - The Best Friend

[Radioactive 0]

(Just to clear things up, I'm a male)

 

Let's put it this way. I have this friend since I was 5 and he has been my best friend until now. Well, at least we were never angry with each other. (let's call him friend A)

 

A year ago, we went to another school. Every school I went I always find the best/nicest persons to form my group and I always hang out with them. But in the new school, only my longtime friend came with me. And with time, everyone was starting to form groups.

 

I naturally and instinctly picked this foreign guy to be friends with. (let's call him friend B)

 

At the presentation of the class, I always seen him alone, and I thought "it must be hard, arriving at a new school, not knowing nobody and being an immigrant". He looked excluded, and I felt I was doing the right thing trying to be friends with him.

 

The thing is that the time I met this friend 'B' my life changed forever. We were becoming so good friends that I almost forgot about friend 'A' and always wanted to hang with friend 'B'. He was funny, cool and respectful. Everything was going well until he had this crush for a girl, that btw it was an immigrant too.

 

4 months after I met him, at the time when he had that crush, he actually talked to her and she told him her intentions. She said she already had a boyfriend and she didn't want to have any relations with nobody else. That's when he started smoking. I even remember the exact time: 12th of January, 2006, 08:03.

 

When he said "I have to tell you something. From now on I'm going to start smoking", I felt horrible. It was the worst feeling I had in my entire life. You can't even imagine how it is to work so hard in a relation with a new friend to see a thing like that to happen. And that feeling only felt worst when, the same day, I saw him putting a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it. I stood still in front of him with friend 'A' by my side acting like nothing happened.

 

I tried to help him everyway I coud for an entire month, and I knew he realised that I was really worried, but it was just too hard for him to do that favor to me. That's when I couldn't stand it anymore and told him if he would not stop, I woud start smoking too. He didn't believe it and after a week I smoke a cigarette for the first time in my life. The next week, I started smoking at school and I noticed his face when he saw me for the first time lighting a cigarette. I thought he would realise how I felt like when he started smoking.

 

I smoke for 3 months and a lot of thing happened. I won't go into much detail, but I will only refer that lately, wen we started some conversation by sms, it ended with him calling me something mean and cursing and saying it was my fault for this and that. He also said that after what I did to him (started smoking), he would not be my friend anymore. But I told him that everything I 'done' to him he had already done to me too, only that I forgive him for everything.

 

One of the things that hurt me the most was the fact that we promised each other not to smoke during easter, and I was happy about that. I didn't think about smoking anymore. Until the day we came back to school and I noticed he smelled tobacco. I felt really bad again and re-started smoking.

 

Everything he called me, I haven't called him back. Everything that he said that really hurt my feelings, haven't caused me to try to hurt his feelings too. I just stopped talking to him and do as he asked. I didn't want to make things worse.

 

And another thing is that friend 'A' chose to hang out with friend 'B' and I don't talk to him neither. I simply don't talk to anyone. I have hope that the next school year we can start all over again, and just yesterday he finally talked to me again and he managed to say he didn't mean the things he had called me and that he was pissed off then. I feel this may be my oportunity to reconstruct my friedship.

 

As I realised, and many cannot understand, friendship can be as hard as love, and can hurt even more. When you want to be the best friend of someone at all costs, you only want to protect him and make him happy, despite anything that may go wrong.

 

Please give your oppinion about this episode of my life, that was certainly the most intense year I have had. Please comment my friend's (B ) attitude towards me and mine towards him.

 

Thanks for listening

Edited June 4, 2006 by Radioactive (see edit history)

[rldowling03 0]

Gee, thats a pickle of a story. Many things ave happened top me involving my friends which i wont go into detail, basically just read te "lied to for 3 months" in the vent forum wrote by me. Anyway whenever i fight with friends we usually make up within a week but in 1 case just recently for me, my bitc* of an ex friend told every1 a secret about me whic started alot of different roumours and led me into a spiral of depression as i couldnt go to school without being teased or bullied all becuase of this one girl, and i am not mean enough to start romours or anything. But anyway lets move away from me.My best friend smokes and I always said to her to stop or i will physically harm myself, and like your story she didnt believe i would but i did... Anyway I think if they talked to you again tat there is a possibility they wanna be friends again, or you could just start to talk and ang around them but they could get pissed off so anyway sorry about my spelling becuase my H button is not working well,

[tuddy 0]

I can't believe the smoking bit, alot of people these days would just start smoking from peer pressure and there friends would just join them and try not to help them to stop. This is what i hate in the younger generations these days, is they start smoking to seem so cool. I give tolerance to drinking cause its not addictive as smoking but its just as fatel.To have 12-17 year olds doing drugs, smoking, drinking just to feel cool, or to belong to a group seems to me like maybe our world (or maybe just my country) is faulting somewhere.

[Radioactive 0]

I can't believe the smoking bit, alot of people these days would just start smoking from peer pressure and there friends would just join them and try not to help them to stop.
This is what i hate in the younger generations these days, is they start smoking to seem so cool. I give tolerance to drinking cause its not addictive as smoking but its just as fatel.

When my friend was smoking, I noticed he had a littletouch of style handling the cigarette. I don't know if he really started smoking due to the girl or if he missed the feeling he had when he was 13. (He told me he smoked for a week when he was 13 and said he didn't like it)

But I certainly didn't smoke to be cool or anything like that. Now I really understand why some people start smoking due to relations. I understand how they feel, and if they felt like me the time they started smoking, then I understand them really well. I was totally against smoking, I couldn't even stand for the smell, and to the extent of feeling like smoking.. that's a great change.

I repeat, during the easter vacations, when I was thinking my friend wasn't smoking, I really didn't have that feel of wanting to smoke, but if something happened, like finding out he afterwards had been smoking every single day during easter (yes he confessed it to me), only makes me feel worse. But then there is another thing, like he said to me he hadn't told me about it so I wouldn' be upset. I was happy when he said that, but I was also very upset.

Well that's how life goes and all we can do is live it. I still haven't quit to be his best friend, he's a very special person. It's almost like love, but it's a special kind of love, called friendship.
One thing I tell you, If you haven't got any friends, then you've got nothing. And there are some people that can only understand that when they go through something similar.

Sorry for my english too. (if there are any errors of course), and thanks for replying.