Jealous?

[XZclan 0]

How do I overcome my jealousy? It has ruined the relationship that I had with my ex and I don't want that to happen with any other relationship I get into. Me and her were together ( off and on ) for 8 years. I've been tryin to get back with her but it aint working lol. i dont know what to do anymore but give up. Does anyone have any advice for me??XZ

[truefusion 3]

I guess it would all depend on just how jealous you can be. There are times where it becomes uncomfortable for the opposite sex. Which, this is probably the case. My guess is this is where trusting the other person comes in. I guess you gotta learn how to trust your partner more, in order to overcome jealousy. But, i could be wrong. There are probably more reasons to this, but i can't seem to think of any.

[Alissa 0]

I can understand what you're going through. I suffer from jealousy too, and I think a big part of it is because I have a poor outlook on myself, low self esteem, so it makes me worry that since I see so many problems with myself, maybe my boyfriend sees them in me too, so I get paranoid thinking that he's gonna fall for someone else or something because he finds them better than me. He tells me all the time, though, that I'm the only one he wants and that he thinks I'm perfect, and I trust him. There have been cases where the jealousy has gotten so bad it's led to big fights between us and that definitely is not fun. So, I have been making an effort to try not to let other girls bother me and not get paranoid that he's going to fall for someone else. Have there been any instances in your relationship that your girlfriend gave you a reason to think you couldn't trust her? If not, then you really need to learn to be able to trust your partner because trust is a huge thing in a relationship, and if one of you feels like the other doesn't trust them, it could cause problems between you. Also, you need to remember that out of millions of guys, the girl you're with chose YOU to be her boyfriend. Why? Because she likes YOU and thinks YOU'RE special. Not anyone else. Think of that any time you start feeling a little jealous. You could even talk to her about it and just ask her to reassure you of things that bother you. Communication is another important thing in a relationship, and it's saved mine several times. Just work on what I mentioned above and your girlfriend (and girlfriends in the future) will really appreciate it.

Edited May 30, 2006 by Alissa (see edit history)

[dreus 0]

That's good advice Alissa.Just wanted to reiterate that open communication will go a long way. It might sound simple enough but really spending the time to talk with your partner about your concerns, reasons you are feeling jealous and really making an effort to work together to overcoming this problem.I wish your relationship well and that you can work things out. Especially a relationship that has gone on for eight years... it would be unfortunate if this issue couldn't be ironed out and you simply "gave up" on it.

[tuddy 0]

There is no way its going to happen until you reliese that you cannot move on in your lifer unless you do, and if you don't, well your life is going to end-up in a dead end no where street. Good Luck and have fun.

[lawmatchmaker 0]

hi, I think that being jealous in itself is not a bad thing. It shows that you love the person, and if they show affection for someone else, it hurts you. However it can be extremely distructive too. Its natural to feel jealous you should not surpress the feeling, but before rushing to confront your lover or smash the furniture, sit down, relax, take a deep breathe, write down what made you feel jealous, analyse it logically, do you have proof, could there be another innocent reason for explaining your lover's behaviour towards another person, f you really feel that your lover has cheated on you, wait 1 week, if you still feel the same way about the matter in 1 week than talk to your lover about the problem and see what he or she says, important thing is don't loose your cool or all will be lost.

[master_bacarra 0]

jealousy roots from one's insecurity. you're jealous of someone because you think that that person has something that you don't have (thus the insecurity), and that you're afraid that "that something" is what your special someone is trying what they see that you lack. then paranoia sets in. you start to not trust your partner because you think they will leave you for that other person.you know, you don't have to push yourself too hard. first start off by looking at yourself first. you have to increase your confidence level in order for you to trust yourself and your abilities more, thus lessening that "insecurity". the problem with insecure people is they always try to look for what they don't have and not get contented with what they already have. it's hard to do but that's realistic. on the relationship, once you are able to trust yourself more, you should also trust your partner. with that said, she sould also trust you, after all, it is a relationship. two people should be working hard for the relationship to continue and grow, not just one. take note, i used the phrase "working hard". some people take a relationship for granted, not realizing that it's something that you also put an effort in order for it to flourish. if the other doesn't recognize the effort you've done, then it's not worth calling a relatioship and not worth continuing anymore.think about it.

[Chatz 0]

Jealousy can be a way of showing you care,but it can also destory you and your relationship.Jealousy can be beaten,you can control it.You must first learn to control it before you even think about going for the girl.Take some time to think about the things that make you jealous and think to your self is it worth it?

Advise posted by me,The relationship shrink (chatz)

Edited July 28, 2006 by Chatz (see edit history)