Losing Interest In my girlfriend

[Dagoth Nereviar 0]

I'm not an expert on this, and I might not be able to spice things up, but from what i've seen, all people in relationships (Not always boy/girlfriend, normal friends can do it too) end up losing interest in the other. This is usually because they spend so much time together, though in your case it seems to be the opposite.I suggest just trying to think of what it was that got you two together in the first place.

[dyknight 0]

Hi. Good to hear that things are getting better.As most people have said, such things always happen. The passion burns in for the first few months, then slowly dies out. This is where the challenging part comes in. How you handle this"downs" of relationship. This test is ultimately important if you wish to have a very serious long-term relationship with her. If you cannot withstand this, how do you plan to survive the years of marriage.The car crash was a very timely catalyst (hope your injuries are fine).My mum always tells me: 感情是需要经营的。Relationship needs active maintainence, just like a start-up business. Don't expect it to run on its own.Hope this helps.

[darran 0]

I am in a relationship with my gf for about 3 years + now and I do not deny at times I am feeling like what you are feeling at the moment - losing interest. I guess when you spent too much time with one another, you are going to get bored, no offence but this is the way humans are. For example, we are not going to stick to 1 gadget all the time, there is always time for another one. Alright back to the topic, if you are losing interest, talk to her about it, the most important thing is honesty, you have to treat her as though she was your soul mate, there should be no transparency between the both of you. I am sure she would understand and of course together help you in overcoming this obstacle. There are many problems you are going to face in a relationship, and believe me I have gone through a lot of hardship with my current gf to be at the stable position I am now (Family, friends, personal differences, jealousy ... etc) basically every problem a couple faces but slightly more. Try doing activities which brings back memories you cherish so much, for e.g. cycling together, taking her out on an unforgetable trip ... etc things like that, this will really bring you back into the mood. Have you heard of this famous quote "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? You may not see her as much but I am sure the both of you will miss each other a lot. It would help to start everyday with a morning and night SMS, I do that everyday with my gf and personally it makes me happy if I received a SMS from my gf saying how much she loves me and things like that.

[thejestergl 0]

Yeah just hang in there man! I am sure that it may seem like you are losing interest but you also have to think that if you lost her, then wouldn't that be worse? I think you will find yourself attracted to her from the day you met in due time. Hang in there and best of luck! And its always good to just throw something fun on birthdays, that might jsut trigger it

[richierich1m 0]

i think this is just a phase that will pass away ,you love your girlfriend but this is just a passion fading time ,so hang there and you'll be drooling all over her,but keep on trying to bring changes in your love life ,don't keep it the normal routine,change will increase the excitement level and thats what you need now in your relationship

[iGuest 3]

I'm going through the exact same thing I don't want to lose my girlfriend because shes amazing but for some weird reason I'm losing interest.help!-eric

[hexbreaker 0]

A lot of times people lose interest in other people because they are used to each other being there, know everything about one another, etc.Basically, if I understand this right, the fire died out.It might be a temporary thing, or it might be a permanent thing. I've seen this happen a number of times because the two didn't hang out as much, or didn't do something they always used to, or just some oddity like that.Just remember: the fact that you were interested in her, not the act of courtship (which is typically the exciting part of relationships, or lack thereof, that people crave), and you were with her for a long time. A lot of times we become numb and don't notice the feelings that were there a long time ago. Obviously, you have spent some time thinking about this issue, and you alone might actually know if you still love her or not. Without making excuses or trying to change your own mind by finding counter-evidence, it might a very clear 'yes' or 'no'. Sometimes I'd be together with someone I really liked, and knew that it would never last, but I'd try to convince myself otherwise, and that just leads to a huge mess.Another thing is, love is over-romanticized. There are people you love, and there are people that you are in love with. But that doesn't mean that you can't live without the person you're in love with, or you would recognize them in a crowd of clones or if they looked very different. Love is something you have to contribute to, don't expect it to just come easy.

[sweet_princess 0]

Losing interest? Its like me with my friends at school, sometimes if I hang around with one too much, he/she begin to bore me out. But I garantee 99.999% of the time, I start to miss him/her after a while. I realise that they were special and just because my brain got bored of seeing the same thing everyday, it doesn't mean my heart did aswell. Be careful about what you decide to do with your girlfriend. Because if you leave her, then could be good but what if you want her back?

[iGuest 3]

same issue

Losing Interest

 

I'm going through the same thing. Her parents are very strict and we see each other only 2 times a week and usually either with her family or she is allowed out for an hour or 2. This is very frustrating because it is hard to build a relationship without seeing the person. Our phone conversations are getting dull and even when she is allowed to go out, we don't have enough time to really do anything new and exciting.

Any ideas on how to get the phone going a little better?

[Reekun 0]

Damn man, It sounds like you're old and have experience with relationships. As for me, I'm in my first relationship in high school and getting ripped from my girlfriend would absolutely tear my world. I can't convince you try and stay with her, because my dad lost interest in my mom and it became terrible..They got divorced when I was 5 and it totally shattered my world. "Where's daddy??" and my mom was left a blubbering mass of a person that began to hear voices and all sorts of evil *BLEEP* started happening to my family.ADVICE: Stay with her and try to spice it back up again, but don't get married until you're sure you're willing to spend 50 years+ with her. It kills the children to have divorced parents. Don't do that to your kids.

[iGuest 3]

same thing

Losing Interest

 

Replying to iGuest

 

Hey folks

 

Seems like a lot of us are in the same boat here eh! I have just been through the same thing with my partner of 18 months.

 

 

 

If there are some girls on here then I would really like your input on this

 

 

 

I think my partner is in the situation where the fire has turned to embers as shes puts it. I don't know whether she is expecting for everything to be so passionate again. She took time out to herself over a week ago and went and stayed at her friends house then came back to me on the saturday and said she still loved me. I have spoken to her friends to understand what some of the problems are an think I know have an understanding. We are due to really talk this weekend and I have booked some time in with a counsellor next week so we are going to learn how to communicate better as I think a lot of these issues have come about cos she hasnt really been talking to me and let it build up. I am hoping that the counsellor will give us the ability to really get things in the open and hoping that once she does those things that she feels some release within herself and some happiness when she looks at me again as I can feel her eyes dying already after only bein back three or four days. Am I realistic to think that she will feel those things after talking?

 

 

 

Sorry to hijack the post, but it seems we are all on the same tact here. But I definetely found some of the things on her useful, so keep your fingers crossed for me this weekend !

 

 

 

-reply by Prawn

[iGuest 3]

so where is he?Losing Interest

I don't know,its just the same issues about you guys and me,were on our1 year now,many things happend before,and even walls comes up,it willAlways tear down,but now its diffrent,I don't know,after last sem,he gotFailing grades and start to heat things up with his studies,I cantBlame him,he needs to study,but each and every month comes,I'm feelingSo far away from him,now we see each other only 2 times a week,compareBefore,I remember that he used to call me or used to talk to me on thePhone every night,until we became sleepy,but now,he'll just waste hisFree time on chatting with friends and playing computer games,I don'tKnow if he found another girl to fullfill his void,but I don't seem toKnow what he feels,everyday I see him as a prince coming up to myBalcony and wait for me,but I guess after reading so much of this,I'mWaking for the reality,I really should look in to the mirror and seeMyself that,I'm falling for thorns,nearly dying,half of my life I spentFor this guy,it sucks for me to lose him,but I have to face the truthThat when the butterfly needs to fly,I guess I need to say goodbye..

-reply by girlfriend

 

[iGuest 3]

So my girl friend and I have been dating for about a year now, and for the longest time she was my world. I set aside so much of my life for her, wether it was the fact that her religion is considered by the members of my religion to be a plague to ours. I've also had to deal with many issues with her parents and so forth, such as them taking her cell phone away for a month, not allowing her on the internet, and such so we basically couldn't see each other for that entire month. Infact, that was really recent, it ended on Sunday.
But after getting to be able to talk to each other again, which might I add has been nearly endless until the times set by her parents. But the more and more I talk to her, I begain to feel less attracted to her. Mind you, I haven't actually been with her that entire month except for maybe 2 or 3 times, but even then it was only visiting her at work.

And I don't know why I feel less attracted to her. I don't ever want to lose her, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, and probably the most beautiful girl I've ever fallen in love with, who feels the same way, and yet, slower and slower I'm losing interest with her. Our phone calls, as long as they are, are no where's nears as thoughtful or fun as they were before the month, and our internet conversations are suffering as well.

So, I ask of you all to maybe give me suggestions on things to do to spice things up, I do get to see her on Thursday ( her birthday) and that saturday ( Birthday Party), but I just don't want to go and not feel the way I used to about her.

Thanks for listening,
Steve

I feel you too man.You can say that I had the same problem as you.Me and my gf would talk over the phone till late nights and text each other like nobody's business but recently my gf's phone was confiscated,she is not allowed to use the internet(except on fridays when she goes to her friend's house and weekends too) and she is grounded from youth fellowship(both of us are christians). The only time I get to see her is on Sundays but even though we had that opportunity to catch up on each other, her parents would just give us that stare that really put the pressure on me btw her dad is a religious man and he is just trying to protect her.This situation has been going for almost 3 months and I starting to lose my patience and also my interest in her. I'm kind of struggling too since there are a lot of girls in my college but I always avoid talking to them.I'm giving my best hang in and I started to feel lonely.I really miss her.I miss her a lot.

This is just my 2 cents and please forgive me if you find it annoying.