Will You Be A Victim? Lifes a cruel world

[anwiii 17]

ok, i am deciding to share something now with everyone. i've kept it to my self for the most part but i can't seem to do that now for a couple reasons. 1: for advice and support 2: for other peoples awarenessi used to live in los angeles, california. lived there most of my life til now. i recently moved to a little town called tipton. this town is in central missouri and i loved it compared to all the other little towns. half the houses and even the public park was decked out in christmas decorations this first christmas i spent here. there's one problem though.....about a month and a half ago, my fiance parked her car in front of our apartment complex and decided to stand outside smoking a cigarette when she was attacked from behind by our neighbor. he not only tried to sexually assault her, he took her to the ground and tried to smash her face into the pavement with his foot. she passed out during that time and doesn't remember everything that happened, her face was a total mess when she found her way back inside and she went through seizures on the way to the hospital. now since this time, we filed something through the city of tipton and he got out with $50 bond. tipton police said it's all they could do for "third degree assault". we quickly dropped the charges and refilled through the county. this time on sexual felony assault. he got out on $1000 bond this time. we also got a 1 year protection order approved.now what's happening is he's breaking the protection order by doing what he did before and that's walk by our door, windows, saying bad things, and basically scaring the crap outta my fiance. when we call the police over, they tell us there is nothing they can do but make a report. even after the fact she already got the crap beat outta her and has a protection order. their excuse is that he's black and screaming racism. their other excuse is that the more they knock on his door, he can file charges against the police department on harrassment and the police are weary that both those things will happen.now i told her to take a week, get away for a while because this apartment was closing in on her and she doesn't feel safe. the police haven't done CRAP to protect her or ensure her safety against this man. although i continually want to kill him with my bare hands, i don't. i don't want to go to jail because of him. i want HIM to go to jail. i want to hurt him bad to protect my woman and to protect anyone else out there that is in danger of him.he's very smart and only 29. he preys on women by befriending them. hanging around. befriending their children or a family pet like a dog or cat. he asks to come in your apartment to use the phone or borrow something. he gains trust this way and then ****BAM*** he uses that trust against ya to hurt you. the only person he cares about is himself. now what i've been seeing is he likes to visit with the neighbors more frequently and gain their trust. he befriends these people so that HE looks good in the community and they don't have a clue what he did other than the fact that he likes to lie to others stateing that some woman is harrassing him and making his life miserable. trying to gain the respect and side of people he encounters.anyway, man, i need advice here in how to get justice here when the police wont even arrest him when he breaks his order of protection. i also need some advice so *I* don't wind up in jail instead of him. our bedroom screen is halfway bent outside the retainers. obviouly it was this guy who is not afraid of anyone including the law. i just noticed it and plan on reporting that too but all our efforts seem to be for not.oh. i also just found out that his wife is divorcing him. i know he has beaten her up a couple times in the past too but the charges were always dropped. now after the recent incedent, i just found out she's divorcing him for reasons i don't know(so i smile about that). anyone close enough to know him(the real him) doesn't like himi need some serious advice here in how i should approach this situation. the police say we should move. this is my friggin' home. he's the criminal and we should move?!? B.S. the only time we ever got support was moving this case to a county issue from a city issue. our prosecuting attorney is supportive. the city police where we reside though are not at all! what can i do? what are our options here? i feel like blowing the whole cover on the screwed up city police and their fears of this guy being BLACK. and soemone tell me some good advice in how to deal with this guy when he walks by our windows again now and looks in when walking by when i just feel like killin' 'm every time i see 'm!and for you women out there, take note. if you are too trusting, then you are being naive and that can get you hurt. funny how people will take advantage of good natured people like that when they should have just accepted a friendship. man, i don't know what to do. i thought i would share this since i keep it inside most the time. i don't like talking about it but something needs to start happening or this guy will start thinking he is able to do anything he want and he's getting very gutsy recently when i believe something just might happen soon that wont be pretty like last time. *sigh*and something off topic here, but when i hear people complain about credits for posts need to be increased because they are too damn lazy to post, it makes me sick. all this crap i been going through, i've been posting and not complaining about crap. i bring that up also because this board actually helped me while i'm up late at night thinking about all this crap that has been happening. it's helped me take my mind off things to settle me. so for that i am gratefull because it could be alot worse where it got too much and i would be the one going to jail. man, i don't even like hunting or killing animals, why i know inside me it has gotten bad when i have thoughts about taking someone's life. *sigh*

[jlhaslip 4]

I am very sorry to hear about your girlfriend. And even sorrier that there doesn't appear to be much the Police are able to do about it. Before I finished reading the full posting, my first reaction was to suggest that you move residences in order to gain some of your sense of security back. Unfortunately, there are times like this when the Police can only react after an incident. Pro-actively, they would be seen to be violating his civil rights. The Race Card he is playing doesn't help, I know, but it does exist and they must behave accordingly. Last summer in Toronto, Canada there were some 'race issues' with the Police there and I couldn't help but remember the summer of '67 ( I think ) when Watts and Detroit happened. I thought we were past that, but I guess not.

You should seriously take heed of their recommendation to move, man. It sounds to me like it would be the best thing to do. Even if it is across town, or only a few blocks. Before this gets to be un-managable and you are forced to move into a Federal 'Dormitory'. Know what I mean?

[Mich 0]

I am going to be redudant and say that I experienced the same conclusion as jlhaslip about the same distance through your post. Man, you need to move. My heart goes out to you both, but especially to your girlfriend. Yes, I understand your principle about it being your home and he is the criminal, but you are risking lives here. You are stuck on the track and the train is coming. As for the police, I can relate somewhat to their situation. I used to be married to one and my step-brother is one, also. With all the laws we have today, their hands are tied too much of the time. It is a sad situation for you, but I don't think there is a better solution than moving. Which doesn't say much for the state of our country.

[anwiii 17]

I am going to be redudant and say that I experienced the same conclusion as jlhaslip about the same distance through your post. Man, you need to move. My heart goes out to you both, but especially to your girlfriend. Yes, I understand your principle about it being your home and he is the criminal, but you are risking lives here. You are stuck on the track and the train is coming. As for the police, I can relate somewhat to their situation. I used to be married to one and my step-brother is one, also. With all the laws we have today, their hands are tied too much of the time. It is a sad situation for you, but I don't think there is a better solution than moving. Which doesn't say much for the state of our country.

 

i see what you and jlhaslip is saying. in fact, there are 2 places we are looking at now which 1 is across town, the other is 80 or so miles in another town alltogether. you both are right because a life is at risk. on the other hand, principle has valid points too because 1st, it is our home and we are more of a victim if we move. 2nd, if everyone ignores the situation by us moving, i can almost gaurantee(by knowing this guys m.o.) that he will hurt someone else and we didn't do anything to stop that from happening. i just turned 38 and told my mother who had the advice to move as well. what ever happened to the principle to fight for what you believe in especially if you can prevent an evil situation from happening again? i know how the world works but there must be other suggestions too that can combine this woman's safety AND making sure something like this isn't ignored. man, i really liked this town after looking all over to find a good one. i would sure hate to move! if this happened where i was born and raised(los angeles, ca), this man woulda given the same treatment as he gave to others. unfortunately, i just moved here and not comfortable giving that sort of "street justice"

 

any other suggestions aside from moving? maybe not move or combine moving with something else so this doesn't happen to anyone else? other women around town have had problems with him too, just not big enough to report anything.

[Saint_Michael 3]

I would move out the town all together if the town police are afraid of arresting someone for breaking a court order protection reguardless if they are a different race . Plus I would move that court protection order 3000-4000 feet so he can't even be near you at all.Best advice I can give you is pack up and leave the town altogether and out like a couple of hundred miles between you and that town as well, if the police and courts are not doing anything about this evil person until he actually kills someone then thats a place where I wouldn't want to have children grow up at with people like that place. Also playing the race card is not going to help you when you rape and try to murder to someone. Also it is against the law to stalk someone as well.But if that not a option then keep on filing police/court reports about this guy untill he finally goes to jail for his crimes but let the police handle their problems for harrassment since they are not harrassing him he's just trying to keep himself from going to jail for a long time. Also I recommend going to the superior courts for this to work this issue since higher courts don't look at race as an issue heck you already have another eye witness his ex since hes been doing this for a long itme.personally I would beat the hell out of him hell and I would chop off his junk so he can't use it. But that i don't recommend, just follow the advice I have giving for hte courts and the police about this.

[jlhaslip 4]

Is there a Victim Services Unit at the City or County Police Dept that you could discuss the Options with? Or a Women's Centre that might know better what steps for protection are available? Yes, it is an unfortunate thing but the principles involved here are one thing, and your girlfriend's safety are another and with her being at risk, the principles won't heal the wounds.Gawd, I sound like my parents...

[truefusion 3]

When i first read what happened to your fiance, i was like, whoa. I hope you took pictures of any damage done to your fiance. And, i feel sorry for her, for what happened. But, i'm here to give an alternative, and no not moving away. Two things come to mind. Since, you are aware of the man's nature, he'll do it again. So, you can dress up like a woman, and wait for him to try and rape you, THEN you can defend yourself, although you may over do it , but i hope you just totally freak him out cause of it, and not hurt him to a point where he's half way to death. OR, although this may be a bit risky, get a friend of your fiance or someone (female) and keep an eye on her. If she gets attacked by that man, you can come to her rescue. Make sure he doesnt get out of your clutches.This is all i can think of at the moment. Besides moving..

Edited April 8, 2006 by truefusion (see edit history)

[WindAndWater 0]

I would very strongly dissuade you from taking up truefusion's suggestions. What he's suggesting is premeditated assult, and you'll wind up with him trying to put you in jail -- regardless if it's an eye-for-an-eye justice or not.What I'd suggest is to file reports with the police regularly about him violating his restraining order. If possible, get him on video-tape doing it. Either through the police, or through some public forum if they can't for privacy issues, contact everyone else who has been assulted by this man. Then bring him back to court, with as much evidence as you can of him violating the restraining order, and encourage the other people to refile their suits as well. Additionally, if you can find other victims, you can try to bring it into an open discussion at a public forum, so that other people are forewarned, and the man's actions start coming under scrutiny. I also agree with jlhaslip that a Battery Shelter might give you some more ideas, or can at least help organize against him.May you and your loved one stay safe, and best of luck.

[Mich 0]

you both are right because a life is at risk. on the other hand, principle has valid points too because 1st, it is our home and we are more of a victim if we move. 2nd, if everyone ignores the situation by us moving, i can almost gaurantee(by knowing this guys m.o.) that he will hurt someone else and we didn't do anything to stop that from happening. what ever happened to the principle to fight for what you believe in especially if you can prevent an evil situation from happening again? i know how the world works but there must be other suggestions too that can combine this woman's safety AND making sure something like this isn't ignored. man, i really liked this town after looking all over to find a good one. i would sure hate to move! if this happened where i was born and raised(los angeles, ca), this man woulda given the same treatment as he gave to others. unfortunately, i just moved here and not comfortable giving that sort of "street justice"

Well, vigilanty (street) justice isn't the answer. Putting yourself in danger by baiting this person isn't either. It is the police's job to see that he doesn't hurt someone else, not yours. You are doing everything you can to contribute to this already. "What every happened to the principle of fight for what you believe in": if you do something about it yourself, he is going to go after your girlfriend. This is his mentality; preying on the people that he perceives as the weakest. Besides he will probably figure out that hurting her is going to hurt you more. Take your mother's advice, son. Edited April 10, 2006 by Mich (see edit history)

[Togi 0]

Tipton, eh? I live in Jefferson City, and used to live in Columbia... both of those towns are an hour or so away from Tipton, aren't they? Not that it matters, but jeeze... living in those bigger towns, I never had any trouble like that, but these smaller towns are seeming to be like that. Last week in Linn, MO (where I go to college), someone actually broke into the home of a 71-yr-old woman and -raped- her. It's insane..!I wouldnt know what to do... I guess you do have to move, but having just moved into a nice, small town you like, then having to move because of some criminal, it's kind of...... jeeze. What is this world coming to?

[anwiii 17]

Tipton, eh? I live in Jefferson City, and used to live in Columbia...

how's my neighbor doin' yea...tipton is about 30 miles from jeff city. i'm in the process of finding a place to move so if ya hear of anything, lemme know.

there has been a lot going on with not only my neighbor now, but the police. it's getting messy and we have been taken alot of steps to protect ourselves and create awareness for others.

something is fishy in tipton....very much so. i used to like this town but not anymore. i NEVER had problems like this when i used to live in los angeles, california.

my fiance just got a blackeye from the neighbor again when the chief of police was told about it and saw her face, he just looked at her. we walked out to report it through the county and not the city and direct report it to the prosecuting attorney. but boy oh boy. there is ALOT i can say about the police around here it's not even funny....but to ignore taking a report like this....it just supports my thinking that something is VERY VERY fishy....like our neighbor is the one being protected for some reason....and not the true victim!

[anwiii 17]

ok, i don't have the words to write an update in what has been going on, but shortly i will. a lot has been going on. she's in a safe house now because she AGAIN go beaten up(now by not only the neighbor but a friend of his) and the police are now not even taking the report. they are accusing her of false reports and threatened that she will be arrested soon and the chief of police told me i will be going to jail soon too.you know what's sick? after getting beaten up in the street, one person urinated on her feet. anyway, the police didn't take pictures. or make a report so i took pictures. she's safe right now which is the most important thing but i feel i am being watched and i also feel i am going to be set up for something soon while i'm alone here in the apartment.hope i am not just being paranoid. nothing about this makes sense. everything is fishy. anyway, i will update on this further LATER when i have the words. i am going out of my mind, trying not to do something stupid and at the same time, nobody to talk to as i recently moved here away from friends and family. it sucks. i pace back and forth in the apartment alot not knowing what to do

[sasuki 0]

sorry i don't have any real answer to your problem other than moving... and that makes me sad. we are so proud of our society, but violence continues to have the upper hand against reason... it really sickens me... if i were you i'd really batter him up a good deal... perhaps masked so he would slow down a great bit :)it's not a good a solution... it's just a solution :\

[Moolkye 0]

Violence is everywhere. You will never escape it, but you can take measure to avoid it. Moving to a small town just isn't enough.I too had a problem that involved my son and I wanted to kill the person who assulted my boy. But after I considered the options, I would do my children no good, by being in jail. So I decided to pick our family up and move, but then I would be running in fear. I decided to stay and live and work it out. Your strength comes from the situations that you go through. That which does not kill you only makes you stronger. Be strong, teach your loved ones what to do in case of this situation. Do not go somewhere by yourself, especially at night and where you are not close to other peopell or a phone.Carry pepper spray, learn a form of martial arts, carry a walking stick. Somethign to protect yourselves. And I love this quote, "Show them no mercy, because they will show you known."Just my advice

[sasuki 0]

i agree in part... but i think it's just sad to see out values being put aside by violence... that makes me think that reason has no strenght against violence, that the only way to fight violence, in some degree, is violence itself, because otherwise you'll always be the victim.And laws in great degree protect the outlaw. i don't think that they should be impartial because no one is impartial to the victim. sorry for not adding much to the resolve of the subject... i had to say this