2005 Funniest Headlines Actual Headlines To Boot

[Albus Dumbledore 0]

I also got these in an e-mail and thought i would share them

 

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:

 

 

CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER

 

[imagine that!]

 

 

 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

 

[No, really?]

 

 

 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

 

[ That'll stop 'em. ]

 

 

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

 

[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

 

 

 

Panda Mating Fails;

 

Veterinarian Takes Over

 

[What a guy!]

 

 

 

 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

 

[No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]

 

 

 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

 

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

 

 

 

War Dims Hope for Peace

 

[i can see where it might have that effect!]

 

 

 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

 

It May Last Awhile

 

[You think?]

 

 

 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

 

[Who would have thought!]

 

 

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

 

[They may be on to something!]

 

 

 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges !

 

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

 

 

 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

 

[he probably IS the battery charge!]

 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

 

[Weren't they fat enough?!]

 

 

 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

 

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

 

 

 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

 

[Taste like chicken?]

 

 

 

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

 

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

 

 

 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

 

[boy, are they tall!]

 

 

 

And the winner is....

 

 

 

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

i think for a few of them everyone will have to read the stuf in the [ ]'s to actually get a laugh off of it!

[Dragonfly 0]

Very interesting indeed. I enjoyed reading most of those headlines. 'Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors' is one of the most funny headlines I should say?By the way, where did you get these headlines? English is such a wonderful language that when the atmosphere is already created those headlines will actually make senses but when we have no background to understand they can only make non-sense and leave us laugh out loud.

[rvalkass 5]

Wonderful find. I remember a few I heard a while ago. One of my favourites was "Famous Painting Found By Tree"! It seems that the editors of newspaper articles aren't really thinking the headlines through Still, it gives us a laugh!

[Albus Dumbledore 0]

Very interesting indeed. I enjoyed reading most of those headlines. 'Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors' is one of the most funny headlines I should say?
By the way, where did you get these headlines? English is such a wonderful language that when the atmosphere is already created those headlines will actually make senses but when we have no background to understand they can only make non-sense and leave us laugh out loud.

yup they are funny!, and i got them in an e-mail from my grandma...