I Just Wanna Scream

[Kirralouise 0]

i broke up with my ex.. like 5 months ago.. and i went out with someone else since then, but then we broke up, and ever since then my ex has been all over me and its nice, at first.. but now its getting kinda like he wont get over me. im sick of it... but i dont wanna say nothing coz hes still one of my best friends...i like this other guy, but hes got no idea hu i am really.. and i dont wanna say nothing. and its SOOOOO crap.. my dad died when i was 9, but i just cant get over it, and ive been cutting myself. ive been in treatment, and it worked for a lil while, but now.. its just getting to much again. i really dont like myself, ive strated dieting extreamly dangerously, and its really not good. i feel weak and sick all the time, and i cant tell anyone. i know this sounds selfish, but i just need someone to help me, like to give me advice... im soory, i know this is really self-absorbed.. but i cant say any of this out loud.kirra

[wassie 0]

my advice is to go away for a little while,take a vacation with your best friends (but not your boyfriend and your ex)and have a great time...so you forget the probs you have for a while,and when you come back you can handle them with a fresh mind...

[clouds421 0]

kirra, this sounds like a really serious problem. try to find someone who can listen to you personally and know where you're coming from... I find that that helps me the most when I feel troubled. If you can't think of anyone you know, think of exclusively online buddies? I find that helps me, there's people I've met online with whom I had spoken more about myself than friends I've known for years, anonymity is one of the pluses.

[spawn_syxx9 1]

All I cay say is that I am currently dealing with an ex. Though I have to say it is probably me that is being annoying seeing a how she is the happy one who left me for someone else. But you just gotta deal with these things. You gotta kick life in the balls and tell your ex, " Hey dude, we're over. Get over it. I would like to have you for a friend but if you can't handle that then just leave."As for the guy who you like, go up, take him out for coffee and talk your *bottom* off

[grrlfromoz 0]

It's far from self-absorbed when the reality is that you're hurting. You've taken a good first step, reaching out to *somebody* even if they are strangers on a messageboard. (We won't be strangers for long ) Sometimes internalized pain can become too much to bare so it can be communicated as an outward response, like cutting, dieting, etc. The physical pain takes focus away from the emotional pain because it's more tangable. It's a coping mechanism which sometimes provides momentary relief, or sometimes none at all.What you need right now is a stable base of support. If you can't talk about it to people in real life, find someone online to confide in. If that ex isn't providing that sort of stability (like creating more drama than you want), he needs to understand he can be a friend by just backing off. It's okay to take some time off from that whole scene to just breathe and work on trying to make yourself feel better. It's not selfish, it's survival. :)I'm not telling you all this because I think I give good advice, I'm only speaking from my own personal experience. You can do whatever you want, but just know you're not alone out there. *hugs*PM me if you want, I'll be praying for you

[Kirralouise 0]

thanks...im gunna try some of that.. thanks sooo much.

[clergyq 0]

Kirra, i dunno if i can help you, but my best friend and i have always been the local "lay psychologists" and confidantes. I dont know much about what your going through yet, but She (my best friend) is losing her mother to ALS, so she might can help you and vice versa. I'm on yahoo as toyclergy and she is vampirepriestess2000. our emails are both those sn names @yahoo.com. Feel free to contact me if ur interested and i'll give her a heads up so she knows ur coming.

[estelleonline 0]

i know someone having similar problems... And if you need anyone to talk to, ill be here for you. i know i am a complete stranger, but i am a FRIENDLY and UNDERSTANDING complete stranger that will listen to what you have to say and i will be a buddy for you. You have some self esteem issues which can be helped by doing things you like, joining clubs, start a hobby... but my favorite is this:Get a notebook. just a simple notebok, nothing fancy. And keep it by your bed every night. Every night before you sleep, write down 3 POSITIVE things that happened in your day. 3. thats it. you can write more if you want, but write 3. Then write ONLY 1 negative. you cannot write more than one. And under that write down any compliments you recieved that day, or if anybody said hi to you or smiled at you... just little stuff like that. Also write down at least one new thing that you like about yourself. It doesnt have to be long and elaborate or anything just make simple little lists. And when you feel down about yourself, you can look back and see all this good stuff. And you will eventually learn to think positive because you will be looking so hard for 3 good things and only be writing down one negative. You see, your mind remembers the worst things the most. So it seems like there are more of them, but there isnt. My teacher used to be a volleyball coach and he was a really good one, but he didnt think so. He coached his best and the team all loved him, but he thought they thought he was a horrible coach. Why? they lost 2 games. He kept thinking what he should have done to win those two games and gave himself a hard time about it. But you know how many games he won? thirty something. He only remembered the bad games. So... this will help you to remember good things that happen to you. Having them in writing is very useful those days when you are feeling down.As or having weight issues, those dont go away very easily. I have severe weight self conciousness, but i am working on it. I feel really bad about how much fat i have on my stomach and my thighs and such. No matter how much people tell me i am pretty and skinny i think i am ugly and fat. But i am doing my best to get over this. One thing that helps is to wear one of those weird legging things that go real high on your waist and goes over your legs and stuff. you wear it under your clothes and it kinda sucks your fat in a bit. It makes your clothes fit better and you feel more confident knowing you look thinner and your belly isnt hanging over your pants and your love handles arent sticking out. I have one in black so if it shows under my skirts it matches and it looks JUST like leggings. it goes to like right below your knee. And it isnt uncomfortable at all. It isnt going to make you super skinny or anything like a corset would, but its just enough to give you that extra boost of confidence. and they are real cheap too. i got mine at kohls in the undergarments section for like 5 bucks. and you forget you are wearing it during the day... so yeah thats my spill on that. try it!as for your ex, yoiu will have to confront him eventually. just tell him you are uncomfortable. if he is your real friend he will understand and back off. there may just be a misunderstanding. maybe he thinks yoiu are interested. So just tell him politely and he should be fine!If you wanna talk or you have any other questions for me or anything else, you can email me at mandy_estelle@rock.com i really hope i helped you out! this may sound like really strange crap but just try it please you would be surprised!