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Funny Courtroom Quotations

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#  Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" # Witness: "No." # Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" # Witness: "No." # Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" # Witness: "No." # Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" # Witness: "No." # Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" # Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." # Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" # Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere." Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?" #  Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?" # Witness: "I went to Europe, sir." # Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"

I don't think these are real because I think all courtroom conversations are pretty much concealed so I am posting it here. Some of these are really funny. They are supposed to be conversations in the court room that make no sense at all. Some examples are in the quotes and the rest are at the link.  



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